


Maybe I'll Start To Believe It

by pokeypuppy



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Begging, F/F, Feelings, Fluff and Smut, Love, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Sex, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Strap-Ons, Teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2019-12-26 12:17:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 74,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18282245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pokeypuppy/pseuds/pokeypuppy
Summary: Valentina and Juliana spend a weekend at the Valle house, picking up about 3 months after the show ends. They're both dealing with the aftermath of what they've been through but also working hard to move on with their lives together.Fluff + Feels + Sex = My Holy TrinityEach Chapter Title a song, and you can check out the playlist here: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R





	1. 1950

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just want to know about your day, baby,” she said quietly, working to ease a slight hiccup into her voice for emphasis. When Juliana’s lips formed into a pout as she scanned Val’s face, she knew she was close to breaking her.
> 
> “I know what you’re doing,” Juliana said breathlessly, her voice jagged as she worked to push the words out.
> 
> “And what am I doing, mi amor?” Valentina asked innocently, her eyes wide and unblinking. She drew her lip gently between her teeth, biting down on it to stop herself from biting down on Juliana’s.

“Ms. Valentina?” Alirio spoke from the driver’s seat of the black SUV to get her attention. 

“What is it, Alirio?” she asked, her eyes far away, her thoughts existing beyond the confines of the back of the vehicle. It was much less enjoyable when Juliana wasn’t in it with her, so her mind wandered aimlessly, the city passing by her almost unnoticed.

“After the situation with Johny, all vehicles and packages are being inspected at the front gate for safety.” He looked into the mirror, his reflection glancing down at the package Valentina held in her hands. He didn’t know what was inside, but she knew this was his way of telling her that it would be searched upon arrival, inuiting that may not be something she wanted. Likely from how protectively her arms wrapped around the parcel and the stupid smile on her face.

She’d picked up the package at a post office, careful to double check the delivery address when she’d placed the order online to ensure it wasn’t sent to the house instead. She’d punched the numbers into her laptop with an almost giddy excitement. She’d had to copy them from the small scrap of paper in her hand that they’d given her when she’d purchased the mailbox, her bottom lip subconsciously drawing between her teeth as she’d focused on the task.

She smiled again in the backseat thinking about it, her fingers tapping lightly on the nondescript box. “I appreciate the heads up, Alirio. But I’m not going home. I’m going to the Valle house for the weekend.”

Valentina had been spending as much time at home with her father as possible. The death of Lucia, on top of everything else, had changed him. It had put Valentina for the first time in her life in the role of caregiver to her father, to try and help him work through this difficult time. Eva was in prison and Guille off traveling with Renata, and he needed her support now more than ever.

And she wanted to be there for him, but she also wanted to be with Juliana as much as possible, the juxtaposition between her own happiness and her father’s sadness like a hard line drawn through the house. She walked around as if there were little songbirds flitting about her head, a dreamy look on her face, constantly lost in thought about the girl who had stolen her heart. 

And her poor father. He tried to hold it together, but his sadness was palpable as he wandered from room to room with no apparent destination in mind. No longer able to helm Carvajal Media Group due to inhabiting the body of a hitman, he’d been struggling to find himself, to find anything that made sense in his new life. A life without his old face. His old love. His old job. 

Valentina could see his pain, but she couldn’t take it away for him, choosing instead to do things like make sure she sat with him at breakfast every morning and force him on long strolls around the grounds on nice days, chatting animatedly about nothing and everything in an attempt to distract him and lessen his despair.

But today wasn’t about the sad things, she reminded herself, pulling her mind back to the present. The vehicle stopped, jarring Valentina, the box between her hands jostling with the shift. The Valle house sat before her, bathed in the light from the late afternoon sun.

“Do you want me to wait?” Alirio asked, again making eye contact through the mirror.

Valentina couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed across her lips. “No, Alirio. I’ll call you on Sunday. The groceries were dropped off earlier, right?”

“Yes, Ms. Valentina,” Alirio answered with a solemn nod.

“Perfect,” she beamed at him as she opened her door and hopped out before he could help, making sure to grab the box. She slapped the exterior of the car a few times as she walked by and gave Alirio a wave before slipping into the house.

“Jules?” Valentina called out as she walked farther into the foyer, her voice bouncing gently off the walls.

“Val,” Juliana answered as she popped around the corner, an apron tied around her waist that made Valentina want to melt into a puddle at the sight.

“I see you found the groceries,” Valentina said as she placed the box down on the sofa, working to not attract any attention to it. She took a few steps toward Juliana, the younger woman’s eyes trained suspiciously on the box. Valentina closed the remaining distance between them and enveloped her into a tight hug.

“Val,” Juliana chided like she was talking to a small child. “You’re going to get flour all over your clothing.”

Valentina cocked her head to the side and grinned. “Then I’ll just have you create more for me…” she answered like it was the most obvious statement in the world.

“Some days, I swear you don’t live in the real world,” Juliana shot back quickly, a smirk adorning her perfectly symmetrical face. Her hair was parted down the middle, and she wore a simple v-neck and skinny jeans. Valentina couldn’t remember ever having seen something so beautiful. So perfect. It was still difficult some days to wrap her mind around it, to understand that for as guarded as Juliana was, she’d chosen to let Valentina in. To let her see the kind, sensitive, vulnerable person she truly was, even if sometimes she still tried to keep Valentina at arm’s length.

“How did your presentation go?” Valentina asked as she stepped back slightly, her long arms still draped around Juliana’s waist, their lips only a few inches apart. Juliana looked shy for a second, attempting to move her hand to cover her face. Valentina kept Juliana’s arms pinned down with her own. “Mi amor, I’m sure it went well. Better than well. Never has the design school seen a talent like you.” she said emphatically, her eyes scanning Juliana’s face for any sign of how today had gone.

“Val,” Juliana pleaded, like she’d do anything to stop this conversation before it began. “If you keep saying these nice things to me, I may actually start believing them.”

“And you should because it’s all true,” Valentina answered simply. She moved her face closer, bumping her nose gently into Juliana’s and giving her an eskimo kiss. 

Juliana’s face smiled reflexively at the gesture, her body still squirming slightly under Val’s touch. “You’re the worst-”

“And you’re the best,” Valentina said before Juliana’s words had been pushed out into the space between them, nuzzling her nose against Juliana’s again for emphasis.

“Val,” Juliana breathed as Valentina’s lips grazed across her own, the unintentional touch surprising them both. 

Valentina wondered if she’d ever get used to it. To the feeling that Juliana elicited within her. Even when they weren’t together, she always felt her presence, like a birthmark that she’d always had but never noticed. And once she did notice it, her gaze always caught it, no matter what she was doing. That’s how she felt about Juliana, whether they were in the same room or not. But when they did happen to be together, the emotion intensified, everything orienting around Juliana like she was the north star in the sky, the axis from which everything else rotated around.

She leaned forward again and placed a chaste kiss on Juliana’s lips before she lost her train of thought. “You were telling me how your presentation went,” Valentina said, shifting her head back slightly.

“I was not,” Juliana quipped, rolling her eyes even though a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

The movement forced Valentina’s gaze back toward Juliana’s lips, lips she desperately wanted to kiss, but she settled into her task at hand. She stepped forward with Juliana still in her arms, pushing the other woman back the foot or so until her back bumped into the living room wall. She pushed her body against Juliana’s, the heat already palpable between them, Valentina wanting nothing more than to slide her leg between Juliana’s and show her just how amazing she thought the other woman was. 

“You’re making this difficult,” Valentina chided as she stared at Juliana deeply.

“You know I hate talking about myself,” Juliana said, averting her gaze.

“And that’s why you have me. Think of me as your hype girl,” she said with a laugh, the movement causing their bodies to bump against one another. Valentina’s breath caught in her throat with the contact, her thumbs now gently running up and down the inside of the wrists she still had pinned at Juliana’s sides. Her skin was warm and smooth, and Valentina resisted the urge to get lost in the sensation. She decided to try another tactic before she pressed their bodies together and let Juliana successfully distract her. “Babe,” Valentina pouted, her eyes growing sad, using all of her resolve to lesson the force of her touch against Juliana’s wrists.

“Val,” Juliana said, like a prayer whispered into an empty room, her eyes laced with concern given Valentina’s change in demeanor. 

Valentina would never tire of her name rolling from Juliana’s lips, the slightly deep timbre a chord that reverberated through her body, heady and consuming. Sometimes it was so intense she felt like she could see the word as a sound, pushing from Juliana’s mouth and filtering through the air until it reached her. It connected with her body and instead of diffusing around her frame, it absorbed straight into her skin. Through every follicle and capillary and pore. The best kind of drug she’d ever had. It was hard to even pretend to be in control when she knew she was addicted.

“I just want to know about your day, baby,” she said quietly, working to ease a slight hiccup into her voice for emphasis. When Juliana’s lips formed into a pout as she scanned Val’s face, she knew she was close to breaking her.

“I know what you’re doing,” Juliana said breathlessly, her voice jagged as she worked to push the words out.

“And what am I doing, mi amor?” Valentina asked innocently, her eyes wide and unblinking. She drew her lip gently between her teeth, biting down on it to stop herself from biting down on Juliana’s.

Juliana stared at her evenly, although Valentina could still see concern prickling behind her eyes. “I’ll tell you how today went if you tell me what’s in that box you were hoping I wouldn’t notice,” Juliana said, a smirk tipping the edge of her mouth into a lopsided grin. Valentina’s gaze dropped back to Juliana’s lips before sliding back up her face, her eyes meeting the younger woman’s resolved stare. She opened her mouth but closed it quickly, one of Juliana’s brows quirking upward at Valentina’s uncommon refusal. “So?” Juliana asked again, taking the lead for the first time as she pushed her body from the wall, proving quickly control was something she relinquished, not that was taken from her.

“It’s a surprise,” Val answered, her eyes darting around the room like she was telling a secret.

“I’ve had enough surprises for one lifetime,” Juliana said wearily but gently, her eyes warm as she stared at, or more accurately, into, Valentina.

Valentina chewed at the inside of her cheek as she considered her next words. “But I think you’re going to like this one…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrated now, but explicit for future chapters. Canon, set about 3 months after the show ends.
> 
> My first fanfic, so I hope you enjoy!


	2. Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana's POV. We're getting closer but still not there...
> 
> Juliana smiled and shook her head back and forth. As Valentina’s hold lessened, she lifted one of her arms and pushed back a rogue tendril of hair that had fallen free. “I was thinking breakfast for dinner,” she said with a small laugh, still acutely aware of all the places their bodies connected.
> 
> Her gaze dropped down to Valentina’s lips, full and wet. She could feel Valentina’s eyes following her own, knowing that she’d been caught. “Or were you hungry for something else?” Valentina asked slowly, the implication dripping through her silky tone. Her voice was like the sheets on the beds in the Valle house, nicer than anything she’d ever slept on until they’d been here together for the first time.

“So, what’s for dinner?” Valentina gazed across the space toward Juliana’s lips, the younger girl growing smaller with the unabashed stare directed at her. It was obvious Valentina was working to change the subject, which accomplished nothing except to cause Juliana’s stomach to drop lower as want bubbled through her, something she still hadn’t grown used to. She’d never had the luxury of delving into her emotions, survival the instinct that moved her from day to day.

Until she met Valentina, she thought with a dreamy sigh that slipped out against her controlled intentions. They’d gone through hell and back, but the woman with deep blue eyes and an ineffable enthusiasm--in spite of the losses she’d suffered--had cracked her open inside, had allowed her to think beyond the possibilities. 

She’d thought of things concretely before, in absolutes and blacks and whites. And while her love for the other woman was absolutely absolute, everything else had grown hazy, the new sensations that constricted her heart continually forcing her to reorient herself, to understand the world through infinitely more complex lenses as each new wave of emotion layered on top of the one before it. 

Juliana allowed a grin wider than she would have liked to settle on her lips, a prickle of awareness rippling across her skin. She could feel Valentina’s gaze as it traveled across her face. She saw the veiled attempt to distract her again from the conspicuous package on the sofa, but the older woman typically got what she wanted, right now no exception.

Vulnerability didn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how she felt in Valentina’s presence, how her heart thrummed heavily in her body when Valentina’s penetrating stare landed on her, like she’d suddenly become the only thing in the world, Valentina’s attention consuming. 

They were partners, she knew that, but most days she felt like a meteor orbiting Valentina, drawing closer and closer to orienting herself around the other woman in a way that both terrified and exhilarated her.

“Mi amor?” Juliana looked up into deep blue eyes, like the sea after a storm. Again she felt the pull, like she’d become the tide and Valentina was the bright moon, full and encompassing, any thoughts of resisting futile. 

Juliana smiled and shook her head back and forth. As Valentina’s hold lessened, she lifted one of her arms and pushed back a rogue tendril of hair that had fallen free. “I was thinking breakfast for dinner,” she said with a small laugh, still acutely aware of all the places their bodies connected. 

Her gaze dropped down to Valentina’s lips, full and wet. She could feel Valentina’s eyes following her own, knowing that she’d been caught. “Or were you hungry for something else?” Valentina asked slowly, the implication dripping through her silky tone. Her voice was like the sheets on the beds in the Valle house, nicer than anything she’d ever slept on until they’d been here together for the first time. 

The second time actually, as the first hadn’t gone according to plan. But Valentina had made sure when they’d come back that everything had been perfect, that the house returned to a place of safety and escape, not fear and sadness. She often thought about that weekend. On the nights they didn’t spend wrapped up in one another. During the days when she should be focused on her classes instead of remembering the breathy moans and curled toes, her knuckles as white as snow when her hands had clenched the silken sheets, the smooth fabric slipping through her taut fingers like sand through an hourglass. 

Not their first time together, but the first time they’d been able to truly get lost in one another without the worry of being caught or wondering if they were both on the same page. When there was no fear of how far their voices carried or that she would run into someone in nothing but a shirt, her hair disheveled and light blooms of color dotting across her neck from Valentina’s gentle bites.

A blush erupted on her skin as she remembered all the times before, the hot heat snaking around her skin like vines growing up a trellis, anchoring her in place. “Te amo,” Juliana said quietly, the words slipping out as almost a whisper.

“Te amo,” Valentina echoed back immediately. She lifted one of her hands to Juliana’s face, gently cupping the space where her neck and jawline met, just below her ear. The touch elicited an involuntary purr from Juliana as Valentina’s thumb made small circles on her skin.

“That’s not fair,” Juliana said breathlessly as she worked to even the puffs of air escaping her lips. 

“Who said anything about fair?” Valentina asked as she continued her ministrations, Juliana becoming nothing but a ball of putty in her hands. “You know,” Valentina went on, moving her face slightly closer, “I think breakfast for dinner sounds delicious.” As she said the words, she took a step back and dropped her hand, a smug smile etched across her face.

Juliana let out a menacing growl that surprised herself, Valentina’s laughter bubbling into the room in response. She didn’t have words to describe how Valentina’s teasing made her feel, wondering if it caused the same hot, sticky feeling to erupt across Valentina’s skin. Small beads of sweat sprung up across her body in spite of the air conditioned house as she considered the idea.

She liked the frustration, the loss of control that she’d never had the luxury of giving up before. She’d never felt so safe as when she was with Valentina, the comfort coupled with the want driving her insane on most days, constantly unable to catch her breath. Valentina never relented, always pushing just far enough to encourage Juliana to submit, to give in and give her control. Sometimes she wanted to toy with Valentina, to tease her until she was the shaky, bumbling mess that Juliana became in the other girl’s presence, but they were different in that respect. By submitting, Juliana truly gained control, giving herself over to Valentina was how she got the other girl to become as lost as she was in those moments. 

“I’m going to finish dinner,” she said with a shaky breath, willing her voice to remain even and calm. Valentina’s eyes followed her lips as she said the words, her tongue pushing into her tooth as she stared, a sign Juliana had come to learn meant that the other woman was heating up, that she’d started to lose control of the delicate push and pull between them.

Valentina lifted a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, emotion etched across her face although she worked to temper it. “Sounds great,” she said simply, turning on her heel and walking toward the kitchen.

Juliana stared at Valentina’s ass as she walked away from her, the gentle sway of her hips emphasized by the romper she wore, tight on her waist with bits of skin peeking out from the criss-crossed fabric on the sides of her ribcage. She let out another groan and followed her into the kitchen, wondering where exactly this night would lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit shorter, but I'm hoping you enjoy it anyway! Thanks for all the feedback so far. It's truly what inspired me to write the next chapter less than a day after publishing the first!


	3. Together, Locked Safely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina's POV.
> 
> Valentina sucked on Juliana’s bottom lip, the slight taste of gloss permeating her senses, already focusing on not getting too carried away. But when Juliana let out a lilted breath of air, she couldn’t stop herself, asking for entry with her tongue as her hands roamed along Juliana’s sides. She pushed the hem of her t-shirt up slightly to gain access to the soft skin underneath, her fingers dancing lightly along Juliana’s hips. Small goosebumps sprang up in her wake, Valentina’s desire to continue finding new skin growing with each light touch.
> 
> “Val,” Juliana whined like it had been a lifetime since they’d last been together instead of only a few days. Stolen moments at both of their homes. An especially hot time in the bathroom at Juliana’s school. But it was never enough. Valentina didn’t know if it would ever be enough.

Valentina knew Juliana watched her as she sauntered into the kitchen, the extra sway in her hips enough that she should be embarrassed by her thirst but wasn’t. She couldn’t begin to consider how whipped she was by Juliana’s dark eyes and protective facade, which only made her want to take things further, to do anything she could to see the blush that fanned across Juliana’s cheeks when she did something especially overt.

But this was only the start of the night, and she worked to maintain her composure and let Juliana come to her slowly, in every sense of the phrase. They’d done tender. And they’d done passionate. And while she expected both of those to happen tonight as well, she craved something else. Something she’d had difficulty articulating in the days since she’d started thinking about it, but that she hoped would be beneficial to both of them.

She smiled inwardly as she considered the idea, thinking of Juliana writhing below her, dark hair fanned across the pillow. She couldn’t get enough of how Juliana tried to maintain her composure, tried to hold back instead of giving in completely. Valentina had no problem being loud in bed, but Juliana was more reserved, more breathy whispers and hushed proclamations. Valentina wanted to make her come undone, allow her to finally let go in a way she’d never done.

And selfishly, she wanted to be the one that caused it. They were one another’s firsts in the ways that mattered, and there were a whole lot of other firsts she was itching to try with her. 

Valentina could feel the walls lessening around Juliana as they continued to grow together, sometimes in small ways that still caught her by surprise. She understood how fundamentally differently they approached giving and receiving love, but it made them fit together like two perfect pieces, so much for them to learn from one another.

She’d always assumed she was just physically affectionate, that she moved to make contact first because it’s what she wanted, not because Juliana lagged behind, wondering if it was okay to do. Valentina didn’t approach things in that manner. If she wanted something, she moved toward it, many times before she even realized what she was doing.

Slowly, she’d begun to understand Juliana’s life had moulded her into someone reserved, someone who may not feel worthy of wanting things and asking for things. But she deserved everything in the world, and Valentina had made it her mission to help the other woman realize that.

So she’d waited. And she’d practiced patience. Instead of intertwining their hands in the backseat of the SUV, she’d set her hand palm up in the small space between them, allowing it to be Juliana’s choice whether she interlaced their fingers. 

And when they’d sit in her bed together and watch a movie, she’d remind herself not to put her head on Juliana’s shoulder first, to give the other woman the opportunity to come to her. 

Slowly, but surely, the walls shrank, and Juliana’s confidence began to grow. Their experience together was a first for Juliana in many ways, and for as much as Valentina understood why Juliana wanted her to take the lead, she wanted to lead by example. To show Juliana that all she wanted was her. All she wanted was to be with her.

Juliana entered the kitchen, pulling Valentina from her daydream. Why be lost in thought when she had the source of her most imaginative fantasies standing right in front of her. “I missed you,” Valentina blurted without thinking. She turned her body, her back pressed against the counter.

Juliana rolled her eyes as she smiled and moved toward the kitchen island where she’d already started preparing dinner. “We were apart for a minute,” she responded.

“A minute’s too long when you think of the lifetimes we’ve spent waiting to find one another,” Valentina said simply.

Juliana turned toward Valentina, her lip drawn between her teeth as she considered her words. “Have you been reading pickup lines online again?”

Valentina feigned contrition, clasping her hands together in front of her. She looked down at them for a few beats before lifting her face, her eyes wide and full. “It’s how I feel, mi amor. Maybe I should give up journalism and become a novelist. I think I could write a pretty good love story at this point,” she said, her words slowly stoking the fire between them. 

She’d always used her body to show affection, but she’d been coming around to the potential power of her words, especially given how they always managed to elicit some response from Juliana.

“Val…” Juliana said as she worked to hide the smile in her voice.

“I know you think you’re chastising me, but you fail to realize how much I love when you say my name,” Valentina chirped back, please with herself for responding so smoothly. Juliana didn’t need to know she was a helpless mess in her girlfriend’s presence most days.

“Val,” Juliana repeated, a slight hitch in her voice.

“See, mi amor,” Valentina said, taking a quick step toward her to close the distance between them. “It just sounds so good.”

“What’s gotten into you today?” Juliana asked, her eyes searching Valentina’s for understanding.

Valentina nuzzled her face into the crook of Juliana’s neck, inhaling the sweet, light scent of the other woman. “I just missed you, that’s all…”

She could feel Juliana’s resolve break, how her body shifted and her shoulders rounded out so that Valentina could mould her body further into Juliana’s. “I missed you, too,” Juliana responded as her arms came up to wrap gently around Valentina.

Valentina smiled into Juliana’s neck, loving the sensation of their bodies pressed closely together, of Juliana’s willingness to hold her like they were always meant to be like this. She lifted her head slightly, their lips only inches apart. “I can’t believe I forgot to give you a hello kiss,” Valentina said quickly before pressing their lips together. She could feel Juliana’s brows lift in surprise, but she gave into the touch almost instantly, her hand moving up to Valentina’s neck as she shifted her lips.

Valentina sucked on Juliana’s bottom lip, the slight taste of gloss permeating her senses, already focusing on not getting too carried away. But when Juliana let out a lilted breath of air, she couldn’t stop herself, asking for entry with her tongue as her hands roamed along Juliana’s sides. She pushed the hem of her t-shirt up slightly to gain access to the soft skin underneath, her fingers dancing lightly along Juliana’s hips. Small goosebumps sprang up in her wake, Valentina’s desire to continue finding new skin growing with each light touch.

“Val,” Juliana whined like it had been a lifetime since they’d last been together instead of only a few days. Stolen moments at both of their homes. An especially hot time in the bathroom at Juliana’s school. But it was never enough. Valentina didn’t know if it would ever be enough.

Her want didn’t abate as they continued to explore one another. If anything, her hunger intensified. She wanted to consume and be consumed. To be the oxygen and the flame. Every time she brought Juliana to the edge, it’s like they existed in a perfect moment. And like she was chasing the dragon, she always wanted more, always wanted to feel the rush again, no matter how recently they’d been together.

“Baby,” Valentina whispered as a pant, the words uttered into Juliana’s mouth as she took in a breath. She could feel Juliana’s smile, clearly pleased with herself at the effect she had on Valentina. “You still didn’t tell me how your presentation went today,” Valentina said, working to regain some semblance of composure. Juliana groaned, but instead of pulling away she kissed Valentina harder, running her tongue along Valentina’s bottom lip before gently nipping at the plump skin.

“It’s not important, Val,” Juliana answered as she finally pulled her lips away, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. Valentina could feel the flush on her own face, snaking around her neck and across her chest. She was seconds away from pressing Juliana against the counter and forgetting any more words.

Valentina took a deep breath and pressed their foreheads together instead. “Baby, I just want to know how your day went. It isn’t a trick, and it isn’t a test. Te amo.” Valentina looked at Juliana with glassy eyes before she continued. “I miss you when you’re gone. I want to help you when you’re down. I want to celebrate with you when things go well. Te amo,” she repeated, her heart full with the truth in her words.

Juliana pouted, and Valentina could sense Juliana’s eyes shifting back and forth, like an animal under the watch of a predator. Valentina hated these moments. Hated that Juliana was still afraid of her emotions. Afraid to let people, especially her, in sometimes. That she didn’t seem to think her life was worth sharing, was deserving of space in the world they were creating together. 

But then Juliana surprised her, standing up straight and staring at her evenly, her eyes dark and deep, Valentina willing herself to not get lost in them. “Are you going to tell me what’s in the box?” Juliana asked, the edge of her lips tugging into a small smile as she ran her hands up and down Valentina’s bare arms.

Valentina responded with her own smirk as she bit the inside of her cheek to keep the words from tumbling out. And just like that, they were back to the push and pull, to the long game and the long night ahead of coaxing Juliana beyond herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I feel like I'm setting a horrible precedent by updating 3x in 24 hours, but I couldn't help it! I'm starting to round out the plot, and I think this will be a multi-chapter fic set over the weekend they spend together at the Valle house.
> 
> Also, I'm just free form writing this and don't have any betas right now, so feel free to let me know if you find any spelling or grammatical mistakes!


	4. Little Bit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana's POV
> 
> “Tell me more,” Valentina continued, her lips now as close to Juliana’s neck as possible while still not touching her. She craved more, but she could already see where this was going.
> 
> “Val…” Juliana whined, thankful Valentina couldn’t see the sullen and childish look on her face.
> 
> “Don’t forget how much I like my name rolling off your tongue.” Valentina took a deep breath, Juliana’s body tensing in anticipation at her next words. “I like lots of things about your tongue.” She felt that damn smile against her neck again as a flush wrapped itself around her body at Valentina’s statement.

“So?” Juliana pushed again, the movement of her hands slowing as she rested the pads of her fingers on warm skin. Valentina bit her lip while she considered the words, drawing the edge gently into her mouth, Juliana unable to stop her eyes from following the innocent act. Her gaze slowly slid back up Valentina’s face until she met the lightness radiating from the other woman’s eyes.

“I don’t want to ruin the surprise,” Valentina said quickly before continuing, “After dinner, I promise. I don’t want you distracted. You’ll burn the food.”

Juliana scoffed. “So now you’re going to tease me and insult me,” she stated with no real indignation or hurt in her voice as she bumped her hip into Valentina’s. 

She could never really be mad at Valentina because by this point, she understood that everything the other woman did came from a place of love. From a place of constant adoration and a desire to make Juliana feel safe and protected. 

God, she still didn’t understand how she could be so lucky. How Valentina “La Princesa” Carvajal wanted her. Saw something in her that she’d felt was worth fighting for. Worth professing her love on national television and imploding her calculated public persona. A persona that for years had let people think they knew her but that had actually kept them at arm’s length, the youngest heir and resident party girl of the Carvajal empire easier to explain than the woman whose depths Juliana wasn’t sure she’d truly begun to scratch yet. 

Their lives and their personalities and their expectations around love couldn’t be more different, but she couldn’t stay away. Couldn’t pretend that she didn’t want to stay with Valentina for as long as she’d have her.

She couldn’t help but worry that Valentina would tire of her, would one day want to be with someone from her own world, someone who was more open and giving with their love. But in those dark moments, she resolved to work as hard as possible, to become a partner that would make Valentina proud and to become the person that was deserving of such an amazing woman. 

“Mi amor,” Valentina said, her voice laced with concern although Juliana had only meant her statement as a joke. Juliana’s brow furrowed at Valentina’s tone, worried she’d hurt her. Valentina was strong and open and loyal, but she wore her heart on her sleeve, and she loved openly and unabashedly. 

Juliana frowned as she lifted her arm toward Valentina’s cheek, cupping the other woman’s jaw and running her fingers soothingly along the soft skin. Valentina’s eyes fluttered closed at the touch, her lips slightly parting as Juliana’s fingers massaged her fair skin. Juliana loved watching Valentina like this, watching the emotion flash across her face. Emotion Juliana had caused with her touch. Her words. Her love.

Her heart thrummed loudly in her chest, threatening to escape from her body with the sheer intensity of it. She stepped into Valentina’s space and pressed their bodies together, the sound of her pulse roaring through her ears. Juliana scrunched her nose and brought her other hand up to Valentina’s jaw so that she cupped her face within her hands. 

And then Juliana brushed their noses together, worried any words couldn’t do the emotions coursing through her justice. The simple touch caused her heart to shift from a dull thud to an erratic skip, like every molecule in her body was bouncing around in spite of her best efforts to remain controlled and externally calm. 

“You drive me crazy,” Valentina said quietly, the words almost inaudible with the blood still rushing through Juliana’s ears. She absolutely and unequivocally understood the feeling.

“You’re one to talk,” Juliana responded, tentatively, like she was afraid of the response she may receive. Usually their conversation was open, if not brief on her part, but something about this weekend felt charged in a way she still couldn’t explain.

She’d felt it since Valentina had stepped inside the house, like the energy radiating from the other woman was sharper. They’d been changing together over the past few months, and for as much as Juliana agonized over her own shortcomings and fears, she knew that their situation was new to Valentina as well.

She knew Valentina Carvajal had spent her life being chased, her biggest dating decisions surrounding who to pick from the long line of eligible suitors that clambored for her attention. And now, Valentina was the one doing the chasing, the one taking on a more dominant role in the relationship, a role Juliana could sense her testing the boundaries within to figure out her true personality.

Juliana thought of the little things, like how Valentina would bring her flowers for no apparent reason. Or how much enjoyment she seemed to get from taking Juliana on thoughtful dates--whether a simple trip to the park to walk around the lake or to unique, expensive restaurants with types of food Juliana hadn’t even known existed until Valentina had come into her world. 

And god, the support. She couldn’t even begin to qualify how it made her feel, how Valentina’s unwavering confidence in her inspired her to keep pushing forward. The moment things had settled, a call had magically come that a spot had opened up in the fashion school and that she could start the next day. She had a very, very strong suspicion Valentina had something to do with it, but Valentina had just continued to mutter, “good things happen to good people,” and refused to admit to anything.

And yet still, she struggled to say these things to Valentina, to use her words and her body to show the other woman how much she truly meant to her. How she hadn’t understood that a piece of herself was missing until they’d met one another. That she hadn’t believed in fate or destiny or any of those cosmic words until Valentina had walked into her life and turned everything on its head.

Being with Valentina felt like seeing the sun for the first time after only experiencing darkness before, and although it felt strange and took time to adjust, she couldn’t go back now. Couldn’t imagine bumping around in the darkness, always fumbling, never being able to see in front of her, or more importantly, into the future. If Valentina was La Princesa, Juliana wanted more than life itself to truly be her Príncipe Azul, to rescue Valentina in the same way she’d rescued her. To make her feel complete and whole. 

After all they’d gone through, why did the words still stick heavy in the back of her throat, unwilling to push forth into the world?

“Where’d you go there?” Valentina asked, her hands now running lightly up and down Juliana’s sides, pulling her back to the moment between them.

Juliana laughed nervously and shook her head back and forth, her eyes shifting across Valentina’s features. “Perdon. It’s nothing, really…”

Valentina moved her lips to the shell of Juliana’s ear before she’d processed the movement, biting down gently on the lobe and nuzzling her face into the skin where her hairline and neck met. She could feel Valentina smiling into the space, the movement of her lips causing a slight tickle against Juliana’s skin. “How’s your mom doing?” Valentina asked, although she still kept her face burrowed into Juliana as she spoke.

Juliana stilled at the words, hating how difficult the simplest questions sometimes became for her to answer and articulate. “Good. She’s good,” Juliana pushed out. “She and Panchito are planning their wedding.”

“And how has that been for you?” Valentina pushed, Juliana thankful she wasn’t under the penetrating stare of Valentina’s gaze for her questions.

“Fine,” she said as she felt Valentina place a light kiss on her neck. The sensation prickled at her skin, a small zap of want rocketing through her body at the simple act. “That feels good,” Juliana continued, surprised at the words as they flowed from her lips and into the quiet kitchen.

“Yeah?” Valentina asked, still not looking at her but instead choosing to place another kiss, slightly lower, on her neck. 

“Y-yeah…”

“Tell me more,” Valentina continued, her lips now as close to Juliana’s neck as possible while still not touching her. She craved more, but she could already see where this was going.

“Val…” Juliana whined, thankful Valentina couldn’t see the sullen and childish look on her face.

“Don’t forget how much I like my name rolling off your tongue.” Valentina took a deep breath, Juliana’s body tensing in anticipation at her next words. “I like lots of things about your tongue.” She felt that damn smile against her neck again as a flush wrapped itself around her body at Valentina’s statement.

This was another part of herself that Juliana noticed Valentina had been exploring. A wordiness that continued to increase in the past months, the simplest sentences strung together until Juliana was nothing but a hot, flushed mess that meant she’d do anything the other woman wanted.

“Val,” she repeated again, a slight hiccup in her voice, the word lilted on her tongue. The tongue Valentina seemed to like so much, she thought with a groan. That sentiment was one hundred percent reciprocated. Valentina continued to nip gently at Juliana’s skin, the quick bites followed by a sweet kiss. A kiss that tempered any sting and only served to increase her want, wondering if small blooms of color dotted her neck in Valentina’s wake. “If you keep doing that I really will mess up dinner,” Juliana breathed out shakily.

Valentina gave her one more bite and soft kiss before pulling her head back. She stared at Juliana’s lips, shifting her gaze up her face until their eyes connected, Valentina’s already blown wide with the few touches between them. 

Juliana smiled, her own pulse picking up as she accepted the lost look in Valentina’s eyes was because of this thing between them, this thing she wanted more than anything. And feared more than everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful feedback so far! 
> 
> Brevity is not my strong suit, so there's going to be a lot of exposition since it's what we don't get to know when watching something on television versus reading about it. 
> 
> Also, I started this story as a one shot, but it's definitely evolved into something more intent on exploring the growth of the characters emotionally that I hadn't been expecting. But smut will come. It's my favorite thing to write as a writer, but I'm playing the long game. :)
> 
> Hope you continue to enjoy!


	5. Nicest Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana always did better with facts than feelings, and Valentina hoped this “experiment” would be a perfect way to coax her out of her shell without forcing her to talk about her emotions. 
> 
> Valentina stood in front of her girlfriend, staring at the most gorgeous woman she’d ever seen, unworried in this moment that Juliana would catch her and grow nervous under her unabashed stare. She took a few seconds to drink her in before wandering around the room to light a few candles, their scents fresh and fragrant as they began to waft into the room.
> 
> “Did you light candles?” Juliana asked as she cocked her head to the side, like she was trying to understand something just out of her grasp. Valentina smiled at how Juliana’s nose scrunched, the lack of vision already changing how she focused on the present moment.

Juliana’s response to Valentina encouraged her to continue, excited for how the rest of the night would go. She couldn’t hold back the smile that bloomed wild across her face when she noticed Juliana’s, the whites of her teeth shining brightly against her mocha skin.

“Do you have anything you want to do this weekend?” Valentina asked as she twirled a strand of Juliana’s hair between her long fingers, staring at the dark, silky lock as she waited for an answer. She would wait for Juliana as long as she needed to, as long as it took Juliana to finally believe, to understand that they were destined to be together. It wouldn’t always be easy, but Valentina already knew it would be worth it, and she wanted to be there for Juliana through all of it. God, she was hopeless.

“I hadn’t thought about it. Between my mom’s wedding plans and classes, I’m not sure I know what fun feels like anymore,” she said with a slightly embarrassed tone. But all Valentina had heard was Juliana letting her in, slowly opening herself up like a petal blooming in the sun. Juliana didn’t open for anything or anyone until she was ready, but Valentina wanted to be the sun. Wanted to be part of the reason Juliana felt safe and happy and proud.

“That’s fine with me, mi amor,” Valentina responded quickly but calmly. “It’s been too long since we’ve spent the weekend together, so I don’t need to leave this house unless you want to.” She smiled innocently, although she assumed from Juliana’s slight eyebrow raise that she understood the implication.

“I get the feeling you’ve thought about this weekend already?” Juliana asked slowly, like she’d considered each word in the sentence before speaking them into the world.

Valentina chewed on her bottom lip, willing her eyes not to betray her. “Maybe a little.”

Juliana’s eyebrow moved slightly higher. “Does this have anything to do with the box?”

The laugh that pushed from Valentina’s body caught her by surprise. Usually, she was the one fixated on things, but she’d definitely captured Juliana’s attention, willing herself to not look too pleased. Juliana’s eyebrow had almost disappeared beneath her hairline at this point, not nearly as amused as Valentina with the whole situation. Valentina pursed her lips and pushed her tongue hard against the back of her teeth to resist the urge to laugh again, although she couldn’t take her eyes off of Juliana. 

Valentina watched the flush wrap around Juliana’s face and across her neck, the light red disappearing down her chest and in between the v of her t-shirt. Valentina wondered how hot her skin would be if she touched it, how Juliana would respond to being touched with the blood coursing through her body.

“So, I may have planned a surprise for tonight…” Valentina waited, treading lightly with her admission.

“What?” Juliana asked after a few long moments, although she looked more unsure than angry which broke Valentina’s heart.

“God, I want to tease you so badly about this, but I know you’re about ten seconds from killing me,” Valentina said with a small laugh to help temper the heft of the moment.

“Perceptive.” Juliana’s lip twitched slightly.

“Well, mi amor... Even though you don’t want to talk about it, I know that your exams today probably went fantastically. And I wanted to celebrate,” Valentina went on, turning her head slightly downward while still making eye contact, the effect making her eyes larger and more innocent than the ideas swirling around in her imagination.

“Val…” Juliana whined into the kitchen, her voice slightly raspy.

“Do you trust me?” Valentina asked, stepping into Juliana’s space for about the millionth time tonight.

“Yes,” Juliana responded immediately, the ease with which the answer came causing butterflies to take residence in Valentina’s stomach.

“Okay, great,” Valentina said quickly, her body bouncing from foot to foot with an excitement she couldn’t successfully contain. “I’ll be back in ten minutes. You need to go sit on the sofa.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get your present, silly,” Valentina chirped back as she moved toward the doorway. “I think you’re going to like it…”

As she walked from the kitchen, although she continued to think about Juliana, she also couldn’t stop considering her own want, her excitement to try new things with her. She’d never wanted to try in relationships before, always doing the bare minimum to maintain the interest of her boyfriends for as long as was convenient. She wasn’t proud of her ambivalence, but after meeting Juliana, everything finally made sense. She wanted to do nice things for her. Wanted to try new things with her.

She wanted to make Juliana blush from the tips of her ears to the tips of her toes and map every freckle in between with her tongue. Some days she worried the hunger would consume her, her thoughts constantly distracted even when they weren’t together. And when they were, everything else melted away. It killed her to think that Juliana may not understand that, may not understand the impact she had on Valentina. But that was all going to change this weekend.

She grabbed the box from the sofa in the foyer and slipped into the downstairs bathroom. She ripped the non-descript brown box open, removing the items slowly and inventorying that they were all included. So maybe she’d gone a little overboard, but she didn’t care. She picked up the ones she needed now and placed the others back in the box, taking care to put it away under the sink.

Juliana had been the first person to show her what true love was, to crack these feelings open from deep within her, and she wanted to do the same for her amor.

She smiled while she undressed, staring at her body in the large, ornate mirror, trying to see it through the eyes of Juliana, to imagine how she felt when she saw her. She gazed at the long plane of her stomach, moving her neck from left to right and catching the angles in the mirror. 

She blushed as she slipped into the fabric, the red bright against her light skin. Once the garments were on, she added the finishing touch, cherry red lipstick that matched her outfit, if it could be called that, perfectly. She puckered her lips a few times and tousled her hair to give it extra body. 

She smiled brightly at herself, hoping Juliana was as pleased as she hoped for her to be. Boyfriends in the past had wanted her to wear lingerie, but she couldn’t have cared less. With Juliana, she would do absolutely anything to get a rise out of the woman, wanting more than anything to make her no more than a puddle of need beneath her. Or on top of her. Or any which way Juliana wanted her.

She pulled out her phone and opened the app to control the house, flipping to the living room and inputting the command to dim the lights. The sun had just set, although the last wisps of color were disappearing behind the horizon.

“Val?” she heard Juliana call from the living room, likely alarmed by the change in brightness.

“It was me,” Valentina called back as she opened the bathroom door, her bare feet quiet on the hardwood floor. “Are you still where I left you?” she asked, unable to hide the smile in her voice.

“Yes.”

“Do you promise?” Valentina called as she entered the kitchen with the few additional items she’d brought with her from the bathroom, still invisible to Juliana.

“Yes, Val.” She could see the back of Juliana’s head sticking up from the sofa, bobbing as she said the words, and she almost laughed when she imagined the indignant look on Juliana’s face that she couldn’t see but could picture perfectly.

“Perfect, mi amor,” she said as she opened the fridge and grabbed a few more items to add to her arsenal.

“What are you doing?” Juliana asked, although she continued to comply and didn’t turn her head.

I’m almost ready, but I have one last request.” Valentina said, trying to hide the nervousness in her voice.

“What’s that, Val?” Juliana asked, her tone bordering on annoyed. But she typically played along with her games, Valentina hoping right now would be no exception.

She paused for a moment and tried to make her voice steady and calm. “I need you to shut your eyes.”

“Val…” Juliana whined in her characteristically difficult tone, Valentina smiling in spite of the other woman’s lack of initial compliance.

“Please?” Valentina asked as she stood in the bright lights of the kitchen with all of her items, feeling silly for the first time since she’d hatched this plan weeks ago.

“Okay…” Juliana said tentatively, the single word the only agreement Valentina needed.

“Great!” she practically shouted into the living room. “But there’s actually a second part…”

“What?”

“I’m going to blindfold you…” Again, she stilled after the words were out, giving Juliana time to process them.

“Why?”

“Baby, is this twenty questions? Do you trust me? As long as you trust me, everything will be okay.” Silence. Valentina’s heart dropped low, worried she’d played this all wrong.

“Yes, I trust you.”

Valentina couldn’t hold back the smile that cracked her face open with Juliana’s words. She stepped into the living room with the silky black blindfold dangling between her fingers. “I’m going to put the blindfold over your head now,” she said calmly as she stood a few feet behind Juliana, who still faced away from her on the sofa.

Juliana’s body stiffened slightly, her shoulders sharp, her back pressed forcefully into the sofa cushion behind her, although she didn’t protest. Valentina slipped the blindfold over Juliana’s face, her fingers brushing against her temples as she did. 

Juliana sighed lightly, and Valentina felt emboldened by the trusting gesture. She bent down and placed a light kiss on her temple, resting one of her hands on Juliana’s shoulder. “I love you, mi amor,” Valentina said simply as she stood upright again. “I need to grab some things from the kitchen. I’ll be back in a second.”

Juliana’s hands were up at her eyes, touching lightly at the soft fabric obscuring her vision. “Are you going to tell me what this is about?” Juliana asked, curiosity now imbued in her voice more than anything else.

Valentina considered her answer as she grabbed the items from the kitchen island. “Well, they say other senses increase when certain ones are dulled, so I was thinking we’d run an experiment tonight to see if that’s the case.” Juliana didn’t need to know how much Valentina wanted to help her feel, help her experience everything in the world that she worked so hard to keep at bay.

“And what is your hypothesis?” Juliana asked from the sofa, a thrill shooting through Valentina’s body and straight to her center that she was willing to play along.

“My hypothesis is that we’re both going to have a great time,” Valentina stated confidently as she rounded the sofa, standing in front of Juliana with the items now set atop the coffee table. 

“And how do you plan to measure that?” Juliana asked, her lips curling into a small smirk.

Juliana may not be traditionally educated, but she was smart. Damn smart. Valentina had no doubt Juliana could be anything she set her mind to, thankful every day that she remained set on being with Valentina. And she was handling her loss of sight far better than she had predicted, Valentina emboldened to continue with her plan.

Juliana always did better with facts than feelings, and Valentina hoped this “experiment” would be a perfect way to coax her out of her shell without forcing her to talk about her emotions. 

Valentina stood in front of her girlfriend, staring at the most gorgeous woman she’d ever seen, unworried in this moment that Juliana would catch her and grow nervous under her unabashed stare. She took a few seconds to drink her in before wandering around the room to light a few candles, their scent sweet and fragrant as the smell wafted through the room.

“Did you light candles?” Juliana asked as she cocked her head to the side, like she was trying to understand something just out of her grasp. Valentina smiled at how Juliana’s nose scrunched, the lack of vision already changing how she focused on the present moment.

“Look at you go,” Valentina teased as she moved back to where Juliana sat, sitting down on the coffee table directly across from her. “I’m sitting in front of you,” she continued, more quietly than she’d been speaking from across the room. She crossed her legs, the air cold against her exposed skin. She desperately wanted Juliana to warm her up, but they weren’t at the touch sensation yet, and she willed herself to maintain a slow, sensual pace.

“I heard you striking the matches,” Juliana said, her voice almost proud that she’d figured it out so quickly.

“And what do you smell?” Valentina pushed, shifting her position so that her elbows rested on her knees, her face less than a foot from Juliana’s.

“It smells…” Juliana sniffed into the air, and Valentina willed herself not to laugh at the adorable face she made, worried the teasing may upset her. “Sweet. It smells sweet. It reminds me of the snow cones I used to save my money to buy from the ice cream truck in my neighborhood.” Juliana stilled as the words popped out, like she hadn’t been expecting to say them out loud.

Juliana rarely spoke about her childhood, Valentina understanding it hadn’t been the happiest of times but never pushing her on it. She considered for a moment what Juliana would think if she realized they were having this conversation right now while Valentina wore nothing but lingerie, but they were already here, and Valentina wanted to know every single thing about Juliana. “And what kind of snow cone did you get?”

“Vanilla,” Juliana stated proudly into the room. “The candle’s vanilla, isn’t it?” she asked, softer than her previous words.

“Yes, mi amor. Was that your favorite snow cone flavor?” 

Juliana’s head dropped slightly. “It was the cheapest one. I loved them so much that I never wanted to wait to save up more. The minute I had enough, down to the cent, I’d chase the truck down as quickly as I could when I heard the song.” She paused, head still low, but a small smile adorned her face. “I fell one time trying to catch up to it before it left the trailer park. I was always worried it wouldn’t come back, even though it showed up every single day in the summer. I skinned my knee so badly, I still have a scar,” she said as she touched at her left knee through her jeans.

Valentina reached out and touched the same spot, her fingers gently brushing against Juliana’s leg, making small circles into the denim fabric. She’d seen the scar before, always wondering where it had come from but worrying the true story was far more gruesome, never knowing where Juliana was concerned. Not that any of it was the other woman’s fault, but she didn’t want to ask an innocuous question, only to have it rip apart Juliana’s carefully crafted stability by dredging up old, hurtful wounds.

Valentina folded her body, bringing her lips down to carefully kiss Juliana’s knee, although it was likely almost impossible that she’d feel it through her pants. But if she asked Juliana to take her pants off now, things would escalate far faster than she could maintain control over, settling with a soft kiss before she sat up again. “So, what you’re saying is we need to go get snow cones soon?” Valentina asked, her voice light, eyes shiny with love even though Juliana couldn’t see them.

“Snow cones sound nice,” Juliana said with a breathy whisper that wrapped itself around Valentina like a warm blanket that she wanted to carry with her forever. 

“It’s a date,” Valentina beamed.

“What’s next?” Juliana continued, unprompted, the warm innocence quickly shifting to hot heat within Valentina at the simple words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet because I love you all and I want you to have nice things.


	6. Use Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you okay?” Valentina asked, her voice laced with concern and love that further split Juliana open, happy for the first time that her eyes were obscured from Valentina’s penetrating stare.
> 
> “Yes,” Juliana stated with more confidence than she felt. She worked to sit still as she heard Valentina opening what she assumed her jars or containers filled with food. A light scent hit her nostrils. Maybe fruit, she wondered as she sniffed into the air.
> 
> “You can keep chewing on your lip or you can open your mouth, mi amor.” She blushed at Valentina’s words, realizing she hadn’t done as great of a job at feigning confidence as she’d hoped.
> 
> Without a word, she released the lip she’d been biting down on, licking across it gently to soothe the pain. She parted her lips slightly, feeling Valentina shift closer to her. She could smell Valentina’s fragrant perfume, stronger than normal as her other senses picked up momentum to replace the loss of vision.

Juliana was acutely aware of the material on the sofa as her palms pushed into it. She worked to remain calm, but losing her vision was strange, stranger so because she didn’t know where things were heading. But she trusted Valentina with everything, including her heart and her body, so she resolved herself to play along in spite of her own uncertainty.

After a few seconds, Valentina’s words drifted across what she could sense was only a small space between them. “Well, mi amor...next is that we need to eat dinner…” Valentina answered, her voice trailing off.

Juliana cocked her head to the side, struggling to make sure she’d understood the words. “So, you blindfolded me and lit candles so we could have a romantic dinner?” she said with a small, surprised laugh.

Words drifted toward her, sharp and clear. “Us eating dinner didn’t work out because you’re too curious for your own good, but I can still feed you…”

Juliana drew her lip into her mouth, chewing gently at the inside of her cheek as she considered the idea. Romance confused her, still constantly thrown off by Valentina’s overt, heartfelt displays. If she was being honest with herself, they made her slightly embarrassed, unsure how to deal with the attention when it was focused on her. She hated how in her own head she was, how acutely aware she always became of dissecting and then dismissing the idea as something not for her. 

And as she thought about it, she realized Valentina was trying to make this easier for her, trying to give her a tether to focus on instead of delving into the messy and complicated and romantic ideas that she resisted so strongly. The understanding caused her heart to constrict, her adoration for the woman who sat in front of her so strong she didn’t know how to sit with the feeling, shifting uncomfortably from side to side on the sofa.

“Are you okay?” Valentina asked, her voice laced with concern and love that further split Juliana open, happy for the first time that her eyes were obscured from Valentina’s penetrating stare.

“Yes,” Juliana stated with more confidence than she felt. She worked to sit still as she heard Valentina opening what she assumed her jars or containers filled with food. A light scent hit her nostrils. Maybe fruit, she wondered as she sniffed into the air.

“You can keep chewing on your lip or you can open your mouth, mi amor.” She blushed at Valentina’s words, realizing she hadn’t done as great of a job at feigning confidence as she’d hoped.

Without a word, she released the lip she’d been biting down on, licking across it gently to soothe the pain. She parted her lips slightly, feeling Valentina shift closer to her. She could smell Valentina’s fragrant perfume, stronger than normal as her other senses picked up momentum to replace the loss of vision. 

She usually just stared at Valentina when they were together, so enrapt in her beauty, still so surprised she was able to call her her girlfriend. In the way her features changed effortlessly when a new idea struck her or when she became excited about something. There was already so much to take in from just looking at her that she tended to fixate on that, instead of, now that she realized, all of the other possibilities before her.

Juliana smiled, pushing her fingertips harder into the sofa as Valentina popped something into her mouth. She used her tongue to pull the food inward, gently brushing against Valentina’s finger as she did so. A small sigh escaped with the touch, a pang of want shooting through her body and straight to her center. 

“What do you taste? What do you feel?” Valentina pushed, slow to fully remove her finger like she was enjoying the touch as much as Juliana, her stomach dropping low at the possibility. 

“It’s sweet,” Juliana answered as she chewed the food, a small piece of fruit from what she could tell. She’d figured it out, but she was finally starting to enjoy this push and pull between them, wanting to feel Valentina again. “But I think I should try another, just to be sure,” she said, a small smile tugging at her lips, lips still wet from where Valentina had gently brushed against them when she’d removed her finger.

“Okay.” She could hear a slight breathiness in Valentina’s voice, the sound giving her more confidence than she’d had before, her awareness acute and clear even though the word was little more than a whisper. 

She felt fingers against her lips again. Was Valentina’s hand shaking? The idea sent another thrill through her, and she opened her mouth to allow Valentina to place the fruit on her tongue again, and just like last time, made sure to lick the small amount of juice from Valentina’s finger as she pulled the fruit into her mouth.

Valentina sighed as her finger again brushed against her lips, and Juliana’s stomach clenched hard at the sound, a tightening beginning to build low in her body. She always trusted Valentina, but she had to admit this was turning out to be one of her best ideas yet. Although she still didn’t want to admit that to her.

“Do you know what it is?” Valentina asked, her voice coming out in lilting syllables like she found articulating words difficult right now. Juliana understood the feeling, her senses sharp and intense, almost too much for her to parse out.

Juliana finished chewing and licked another drop of juice from her lips, a small intake of breath coming from Valentina with the action. “It’s a peach,” Juliana answered, the timber and rasp in her own voice surprising her.

“I know they’re your favorite,” Valentina responded, her voice light and breathy. 

“Have you had any yet?”

“No, mi amor. I haven’t.”

“Can I feed you one?” Juliana asked, the words pushing out before she’d thought about them.

Another sharp intake of breath from Valentina, the room silent except for the sounds coming from them, the cadence of breath already drastically different than when they’d began. “Yes.” Juliana waited, straining her ear to pick up on the sounds. “Do you want to hold out your hand?”

Juliana complied immediately, holding out her hand in front of her body. “Like this?” she asked, needing Valentina to help guide her.

“Yes, perfect.” She heard Valentina still for a moment before she spoke again. “I’m going to drop down between your legs so that my mouth is closer to you. Can you uncross them for me?” Valentina asked. 

The idea of Valentina sitting between her legs as she fed the other woman peaches caused the deep, consuming feeling building low in her center to begin pulsing, even just imaging the idea working her into a frenzy she didn’t know if she could come back from. “Oh, okay,” she said with as much evenness in her voice as she could produce. She uncrossed her legs, leaving less than a foot of space between her knees. 

She felt Valentina’s fingers push into her thighs as she lowered her body between them, so lightly it seemed like Valentina floated on air like some ethereal being. 

“Give me your hand,” Valentina said with more control in her voice than she’d had a few minutes ago. Juliana put her hand, palm up, directly in front of her chest and waited. She felt Valentina remove a hand from her thigh, likely to bend around and pluck a piece of fruit from the tray. And then, she felt wetness on her palm as Valentina gently dropped the piece of fruit into her hand. At the same time, Valentina’s other hand wrapped around her own that still pushed into the fabric of the sofa. “I want you to touch my lips,” Valentina breathed out into the small space between them as she lifted both of their hands up toward her mouth.

Every nerve ending on Juliana’s body felt like a lit fuse, the intensity of the slow build up driving her more insane than she’d ever thought possible. She took a deep breath, working to maintain the little composure she still possessed. 

And then, she felt her hand bump gently into Valentina’s face. Soft yet sharp, like she’d been etched from marble. Valentina removed her hand as Juliana’s began to wander down the contour of her jaw, moving slowly across until Valentina’s chin rested beneath her fingers. She felt Valentina’s light breath on her hand, and she reached up with the pad of her thumb to gently ghost over her lush bottom lip, a lip she’d kissed a million times before but had never quite experienced in this way. 

She felt a slight tremble as Valentina took a breath, wanting to see her so badly in this moment. She settled for running her finger over Valentina’s lip again, feeling a softness that rivaled anything she’d ever touched before. Slightly wet, like Valentina had just licked them, and she thought for a moment about all of the other places she wanted Valentina to lick. She usually did better at controlling her want, at maintaining her composure and going slowly, but whatever Valentina was doing to her, she was nothing more than a puppet on a string right now, fully at her mercy, unable to resist whatever was happening.

She bit her own lip as her thumb ghosted over Valentina’s once more. “You ready?” Juliana asked as she moved the fruit between her thumb and index finger.

“Yes,” Valentina breathed, the lilt in her voice sending another wave coursing through Juliana’s body.

Using her other hand as an anchor, she moved toward Valentina’s face, until she touched her lips lightly with the fruit. Valentina’s mouth opened immediately, her tongue drawing it inward, and Juliana’s fingers by proxy, into her mouth. Until this moment, she’d forgotten that Valentina could see, wondering what this experience was like for her right now.

Valentina pulled the fruit into her mouth, one of her hands coming up to wrap around Juliana’s fingers to keep them close. She heard quiet chewing, her wet fingers slightly warmed with the gentle breaths escaping from Valentina.

And then, she felt Valentina’s lips encircle the tip of her finger again, drawing it back into her mouth, teeth nipping lightly at the pad. She drew in a sharp intake of breath at the sensation, want now radiating from every nerve ending on her body. Her stomach tightened again as Valentina licked the small bit of juice on her finger before she began to suck on the tip of her finger.

Juliana let out a moan that she couldn’t have controlled even if she’d wanted to. She recognized the movement immediately, the same exploratory yet methodical way Valentina used her tongue and mouth when she went down on her, the tip of her finger taking the place right now of the sensitive bundle of nerves that thrummed between her legs, the want percolating deep in her center and radiating outward. 

“Fuck,” she breathed into the space, and she felt Valentina’s lips still.

“Do you like it?” Valentina asked with an innocence that Juliana knew was all for show.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Does it remind you of anything?” she continued as she wrapped her lips around Juliana’s finger again, like she didn’t know exactly what she was doing to her.

“Val…” Juliana whined into the quiet room, every sensation magnified more than she could handle, so much so she felt like she’d splinter into a million tiny pieces if Valentina continued touching her like this.

“It’s almost time to take off the blindfold, baby.” Valentina placed light kisses on the tip of Juliana’s finger as she said the words, her voice low and as sweet as the juice she’d just licked from her fingers. “Do you want to take it off?”

Fuck. Did flowers bloom? Did the sun set? Did the moon pull the tides? Juliana didn’t know if she could contain herself once the blindfold came off, but she absolutely wanted to find out. “Yes,” she answered quietly, knowing that anymore words would betray how little control she had over herself right now.

Valentina placed one last, light kiss on Juliana’s finger before she let go of her hand. She felt Valentina moving, a hand coming up next to her head to remove the blindfold. She waited, air caught in her throat, scared to take a single breath and ruin the moment.

As Valentina pulled the blindfold off slowly, her eyes struggled to adjust to the dim lighting. Everything was still magnified, her senses colliding as they tried to make sense of the room, of how to interpret all of the sensations continuing to fight for dominance in her body.

And then, Valentina came into focus in front of her, and everything Juliana thought she knew really did shatter into those million pieces at the sight. Her bright red lips. Her wide eyes, unblinking and full of want. And her outfit. Her fucking outfit that Juliana had no idea she’d been wearing the entire time. Heat radiated from her center so hot she was sure Valentina must feel it with their closeness, the tight coil continuing to intensify until she felt beyond herself, like she was having an out of body experience.

Her gaze roamed across Valentina’s body, the body still nestled between her legs. She stared at the red lace covering her chest, fabric so delicate she knew it had to be sewn by hand, so perfectly molded to Valentina’s body she wondered if it had been custom made. Her nipples were visible through the material, light and taut, like this game was impacting both of them, Juliana finding comfort in the idea. 

But thoughts escaped her as she continued to drink Valentina in, realizing that every time Valentina’s torso had bumped into her jeans with the other woman’s movement, it had been bare, save for the delicate criss cross of red satin that came down a few inches from the bottom of the bra. She knew her eyes were wide, Valentina unmoving under her stare, giving her time to adjust to the sensory overload, a slight smirk on her face.

“I take it you like it?” Valentina asked after a few moments, Juliana’s gaze still roaming freely across her girlfriend’s body, unable to stop herself from consuming every inch with her eyes.

“Yes, I like it,” she answered honestly, reaching her hand out and cupping it along Valentina’s jaw.

“Good. Because it’s all for you,” Valentina said, her eyes never leaving Juliana’s, the intensity of the moment continuing to build between them.

“You’re beautiful,” was all Juliana managed to choke out as she moved her face closer, like she was nothing more than a moth and Valentina was the flame, unable to resist even if she’d tried.

“As are you, mi amor,” Valentina responded with a seriousness that caused a bubble of emotion to well up in Juliana’s chest, the heft of Valentina’s words more than her heart could handle. “And I hope you enjoyed yourself,” Valentina continued, her voice now lower, her eyes deep like the uncharted ocean.

“I did.” Juliana still couldn’t take her eyes off of her, finding it difficult to believe that this was for her. That Valentina had done this for her.

“Good,” Valentina said as her lips bloomed into a smile, although she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. “Because we’re nowhere near done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, this thing has just taken on a life of its own. Thanks everyone for coming on the journey with me and for dealing with the buildup. Sorry, not sorry? Obviously, we're gonna get into the good stuff next chapter, although I've really enjoyed writing this one and the one before it.
> 
> As always, your comments make my day. Thank you everyone so much for the feedback!


	7. In My Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And what do you think about that?” Valentina asked, purposefully making the question open-ended to learn as much as she possibly could.
> 
> Juliana began to move her fingers slowly against Valentina’s chest, so Valentina removed her own hand to give her free range of motion, wanting to see where Juliana would take things. Juliana moved her hand toward one of the straps of Valentina’s ornately laced bra, her fingers gently plucking at the red fabric. “I feel lucky,” Juliana whispered, Valentina staring at Juliana as Juliana stared at her hand against the red fabric.
> 
> “I feel lucky, too,” Valentina echoed back, unable to take her eyes off Juliana as her hands continued to explore.
> 
> “Lucky...” Juliana repeated again as she continued slowly touching the fabric, although her eyes were far off, clearly lost in the sensation.

When Valentina had set them off down this path, she’d made one significant miscalculation. She hadn’t considered the impact this game would have on her, how she was pushing herself to the brink to maintain control, to let Juliana come to her slowly as the night evolved. It was more difficult than she’d anticipated, and her skin felt scorched, heat pooling between her legs with no end in sight.

The way Juliana stared at her made her feel like she would come apart at the seams, the genuine want shining through the other woman’s eyes visible now that the blindfold had been removed. They took each other in, Valentina shy for the first time during this exchange, no longer feeling like she was in control.

Juliana gulped at Valentina’s last words, and she couldn’t stop herself from placing both of her hands on Juliana’s thighs and running her fingers down the denim, pushing against the fabric with more force than she’d used before.

“Do you understand what you do to me?” she asked into the dim room, the words said as much to herself as Juliana. The combination of watching Juliana both embarrassed and turned on by her true words, fighting with the emotions, caused Valentina’s stomach to flip with anticipation. The gnawing heat in her body started to run wild, snaking through her veins and pushing outward until it reached her skin, threatening to burst from inside of her and out into the world.

They’d already been together many times and in many ways, but tonight already felt different, the anxious energy flowing through her making it difficult to concentrate and stay the course.

Juliana still stared at Valentina, her girlfriend’s cheeks flushed, splotches of color blooming across her perfect skin. As Valentina followed the shapes on Juliana’s body with her eyes, she felt a hand reach out and tentatively touch her collarbone, so light she could have missed it if she didn’t see it herself. Juliana smiled nervously at her, but happiness welled in Valentina’s chest that her girlfriend was finding it difficult to contain herself, unable to keep herself from reaching out.

Valentina’s uncertainty snapped, the room and the moment shifting back into focus. She moved her hand up over Juliana’s, pressing them both down so that they rested on top of her heart, and Juliana could undoubtedly feel the uneven thrumming through her palm. “Do you?” she pushed again, her voice lower but with a clearness that made the words hang in the air.

“Y-yes,” Juliana answered, her eyes skipping erratically around Valentina’s face in tandem with the beat of Valentina’s heart, still resting beneath her hand.

“And what do you think about that?” Valentina asked, purposefully making the question open-ended to learn as much as she possibly could.

Juliana began to move her fingers slowly against Valentina’s chest, so Valentina removed her own hand to give her free range of motion, wanting to see where Juliana would take things. Juliana moved her hand toward one of the straps of Valentina’s ornately laced bra, her fingers gently plucking at the red fabric. “I feel lucky,” Juliana whispered, Valentina staring at Juliana as Juliana stared at her hand against the red fabric.

“I feel lucky, too,” Valentina echoed back, unable to take her eyes off Juliana as her hands continued to explore.

“Lucky...” Juliana repeated again as she continued slowly touching the fabric, although her eyes were far off, clearly lost in the sensation.

Valentina licked her lips, unable to keep the languid pace up for another moment, the tight, overwhelming feeling low in her center pulling her along in spite of her mind’s protests to take things slowly. “Juliana,” she said resolutely. Juliana’s eyes flicked back to her lips first, then she dragged them up Valentina’s face and met her stare. “I want you to take off your clothing, and then I want to straddle you.”

Juliana’s eyes blew wide, but Valentina maintained eye contact. “Okay,” Juliana said, her voice husky in a way that caused Valentina to experience the sensation that she was melting and freezing simultaneously.

Valentina lifted her body up, running her hands roughly along Juliana’s clothed thighs again as she continued to stare at her until she stood up fully, now gazing down from above her, their eyes still connected as she looked down. 

She’d never wanted something so much, almost unable to make sense of her feelings. She put her hand behind Juliana’s ear and rubbed small circles around the skin, Juliana’s eyes flitting closed with the soft touch. “Babe,” Valentina said with a small laugh, Juliana already distracted within the last few seconds.

Juliana’s eyes popped open again, wide and unblinking. “Right,” she said, shaking her head back and forth gently.

Valentina took a small step back to give her space to stand, realizing she hadn’t really given Juliana the opportunity to comply until now with her desire to keep them as close as possible.

As Juliana stood, Valentina couldn’t stop her gaze from traveling down her body. She’d seen her before, but everything about tonight felt new. Exciting in a way she couldn’t articulate. 

“Val…” Juliana stared at her with eyes deeper than she’d ever seen. “Please don’t look at me like that…”

“How do you want me to look at you, mi amor?” she asked, her mind drifting back to a time between them when they’d also uttered these words back and forth, when things had been so different and tentative between them.

Juliana smiled, and it was clear she remembered it, too, the words spoken what now felt like a lifetime ago. A time when Valentina wasn’t sure how Juliana had felt. When one, tentative kiss in the pool had been all that connected them although she already longed for more. Longed to be the person Juliana ran to for help and comfort and love. 

She smiled to herself at how far they’d come, the charged moment between them breaking as they both burst into shy laughter. “Do you still want to take your clothes off?” Valentina asked softly as she ran her hand down Juliana’s arm.

“Yes, mi amor,” Juliana answered as she moved her fingers toward the button of her jeans. Valentina was surprised at how quickly she stripped the garment from herself once the button had been popped, and Juliana pulled her t-shirt off in a quick motion right after it.

And now they stood facing one another, Valentina in her lingerie bought with only one person in mind, and Juliana, looking slightly embarrassed, although Valentina couldn’t understand why.

Juliana was gorgeous. Soft edges with tight muscle underneath, her skin tan and smooth like melted caramel. Valentina longed to lick the skin, to trace every contour and divot with her tongue and fingers, to help Juliana understand what she did to her.

And as she thought about it, she realized stupidly that she didn’t need to think about it. She could actually do it instead. Without another word, she dropped to her knees in front of Juliana, her body sinking hard into the plush carpet beneath her. 

She heard Juliana take in a deep breath, and she felt hands come up and rest against each side of her neck. Present, but not pulling Valentina toward any direction or action. She stared at Juliana’s torso as she took in another long, deep breath, her muscles contracting with each expel of air. 

Valentina moved her own hands, running them up Juliana’s thighs and anchoring them against her hips, her thumbs jutting into the taut skin, so hard she knew they’d leave small indentations if she removed them.

And then, she pushed forward tentatively and placed a featherlight kiss on Juliana’s stomach, directly on the v of her abdomen. Directly above the band of her simple, but in Valentina’s opinion, incredibly sexy black underwear. She could feel Juliana’s muscles contract again and hold tight, as still as if they’d been frozen. 

She placed another kiss on the same plane of muscle, more forcefully this time. She held her lips against skin for a few seconds before she gave a gentle nip with her teeth and then dragged them across Juliana’s skin. She loved the feeling of any part of Juliana against her lips, the warmth of her body intoxicating, making her want more instantly.

“How does that feel?” Valentina asked, sitting back on her calves as she stared up at Juliana with wide, unblinking eyes, already missing the sensation of her lips against the other woman’s body.

She felt Juliana’s fingers tighten around her scalp, digging into the muscle at the base of her neck. “Good. It feels good,” Juliana answered, although she still stared out toward the living room.

“Look at me,” Valentina challenged from her position on the floor, Juliana complying almost instantly. As Juliana turned her head downward, she felt the other woman’s hands dig even deeper against her neck, almost like she was working to anchor herself in place. “I want to make you feel good,” Valentina said from her position below her.

“You are,” Juliana breathed into the room, her pupils almost the same color as her irises, her body conveying its want even if her words couldn’t always do the same. She took another deep breath before speaking. “I...You said you were going to straddle me.” Juliana pulled the words from between her lips, and Valentina knew she’d struck the right chord.

Valentina had a suspicion that Juliana liked it when she was on top, although they’d never formally discussed it. But she took note of how their bodies normally shifted when in bed, of the sounds that Juliana made when Valentina did something the other woman liked. And what she’d discovered is that Juliana liked when Valentina was on top, when their bodies connected as much as possible. When Juliana didn’t have to worry about thinking what to do next, when her hands could roam freely without being the center of attention.

“You’re absolutely right, mi amor,” Valentina answered quickly, standing up again so that they were face to face. “I need you to sit back down on the sofa.”

Juliana complied, taking a step back until the back of her knees bumped into the large piece of furniture. She sat down quickly, and Valentina bit her lip as she watched her, turned on by Juliana’s excitement. More so because she’d actually vocalized what she wanted, even if Valentina had prompted the idea. 

Juliana stared up at her from her new position on the sofa. Her hands rested at her sides, Valentina wondering how different the fabric now felt against Juliana’s bare skin. She didn’t waste time finding out for herself, stepping into the space between Juliana’s parted legs. She placed a bent leg on Juliana’s right side, swinging her body on top of her with a graceful movement controlled by her core. She rested her weight on her shins for a moment with her thighs extended straight, toying with Juliana before fully settling down against her.

When their bodies connected, Juliana let out a small, raspy moan, and Valentina resolved herself to do everything possible to hear that sound again. Especially given the shockwaves it sent through her own body. 

She leaned forward and kissed Juliana, softly at first as she ran her tongue against Juliana’s lips, asking for entry. Valentina felt a hand snake around her neck as it had when she’d been on her knees, Juliana pulling her hungrily into the kiss. There was so much to feel in this moment. Juliana’s lips, soft and welcoming against her own. Juliana’s stomach, taut and strong beneath her center. Juliana’s neck, Valentina’s fingers thumbing roughly against the skin of her hairline even though she willed herself to go slowly.

Juliana bit at her bottom lip as the kiss grew more frenzied, and Valentina felt like she might explode in that moment, her body beginning to grind downward, completely out of her own control. Apparently, Valentina enjoyed the same things Juliana did, the feeling of their bodies connecting at every point possible better than any aphrodisiac she thought could exist.

As their lips disconnected for a moment, Valentina stared down at Juliana, the other woman already looking up up at her. Catching her staring sent a thrill through Valentina’s body and a shot straight to her center, but neither of those feelings remotely prepared her for Juliana’s next words.

“Val,” Juliana’s voice pleaded into the space between them, the same raspiness present that drove Valentina wild before. “I need you to fuck me, mi amor. Please...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this sex? Is this more buildup? I don't know, but lesbian sex is great y'all. I think the fact that I'm legitimately confused about the line of where foreplay ends and sex begins is a testament to that. Really, I'm just trying to figure out if it needs an M or E rating now...
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! I'm going to have less free time beginning this Friday and moving forward, so I'm trying to get as much out as I can until then.


	8. Giver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She felt Valentina’s hand come under her chin, her pointer finger dragging up to the edge, just below her cleft, forcing Juliana to look at her again. “Tell me what you’re thinking about,” Valentina challenged as she rolled her body hard against the body beneath her, a moan escaping Juliana’s lips. “If you’re going to live in your own world, I at least want to be invited to join.”
> 
> “I’m thinking about you,” Juliana said, her voice no more than a whisper in the darkened room.
> 
> A small smile tugged at the corner of Valentina’s lips and with no preamble, she rolled her hips down again, harder this time, pushing them both down into the cushions of the sofa. “I like that story. And what do you think about me?” Valentina asked. “And if you haven’t noticed yet, you get rewarded for good answers.”

Valentina stared at her deeply, their bodies pressed together on the sofa, Juliana acutely aware of every place where she felt the heat from the connection. “Mi amor,” Valentina finally answered with a glint in her eye, “I thought you’d never ask.”

It was difficult for Juliana to believe the words came from her own mouth, that they’d started in her brain, bubbled up through her throat, and ultimately, that she’d had the courage to push them out into the small space between she and Valentina.

But she’d meant them. And she didn’t want to take them back. If anything was going to be taken, she wanted it to be Valentina--taking her in any way she wanted. The only thing that mattered is that Valentina wanted this as much as she did, that she was as beside herself with want as Juliana was right now.

“And what do you want?” Juliana asked, her voice raspy and low, almost like it belonged to a different person. 

“I got what I wanted,” Valentina answered simply, her fingers dancing across Juliana’s collarbone before snaking delicately around her throat and interlacing them behind Juliana’s neck.

Juliana could barely push the words out, maybe afraid of the answer but unable to stop herself from asking the question. “And what’s that?” she asked with genuine curiosity, her eyes open but lidded as she felt Valentina’s touch everywhere.

“You.” A hot heat wrapped itself around her body with Valentina’s answer, her mind unable to process it as her body responded immediately.

How did she manage to do this to Juliana? How, despite her best intentions, was she constantly under Valentina’s spell? She felt like a wild stallion that had finally been broken, and she wanted nothing more to submit to Valentina’s requests, knowing how much both of them would enjoy the ride. 

And that lingerie. Fuck. She’d been staring at the fire engine red lace since she’d finally been given her sight back, continuously finding something new to stare at, to capture her attention until she felt like she’d combust into flames the exact same color as the garment. 

Juliana kissed her again, lifting her back from the sofa up toward Valentina, their bodies now parallel as Valentina straddled her hips. The backs of Valentina’s thighs pressed into the tops of hers, Valentina continuing to set a languid rhythm as she rolled her hips downward as they kissed. With each successive roll, she pushed a little harder into Juliana’s center, the dull throb percolating into a steady pulsation as she continued to grind into her with what Juliana knew was calculation and intent. 

And then there was Valentina’s tongue. She’d asked for entry into Juliana mouth by sliding it along her lower lip, her tongue working in tandem with the rhythm her hips set, the delicious friction making Juliana pant, sweat springing up along the divots of muscles running down her back.

People thought that Valentina was capricious, that her heart led her around with abandon, but Juliana knew that wasn’t the case. Valentina got what she wanted in spite of her seemingly carefree and bubbly temperament, and right now, it seemed like what she wanted was Juliana, coming apart beneath her. And damn if Juliana also didn’t want to buy a ticket to that show.

The movement against her body slowed, and she felt Valentina’s body separate from hers slightly. Valentina then separated their mouths, ending the kiss with a small bite on Juliana’s lower lip, tugging on it slightly, although there was no pain to be felt with the adrenaline coursing through her. 

She rocketed back from inside her head to the moment between them, wondering what had changed. “Val,” she whined at the loss of contact, unable to stop the word from tumbling out.

“I can tell you’re thinking again. I just want you to feel mi, amor,” Valentina said with a calm patience in her voice that made Juliana feel like a child, worried she may never be able to fully let go and enjoy everything between them.

“I am feeling…” Juliana said slowly, averting her gaze, unable to stand too close to the fire in Valentina’s eyes for fear of being burned.

She felt Valentina’s hand come under her chin, her pointer finger dragging up to the edge, just below her cleft, forcing Juliana to look at her again. “Tell me what you’re thinking about,” Valentina challenged as she rolled her body hard against the body beneath her, a moan escaping Juliana’s lips. “If you’re going to live in your own world, I at least want to be invited to join.”

“I’m thinking about you,” Juliana said, her voice no more than a whisper in the darkened room.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Valentina’s lips and with no preamble, she rolled her hips down again, harder this time, pushing them both down into the cushions of the sofa. “I like that story. And what do you think about me?” Valentina asked. “And if you haven’t noticed yet, you get rewarded for good answers.”

Juliana loved the feeling of Valentina’s weight against her, holding her in place and making her feel safe in a way she’d never felt. She’d do anything to feel it again. “I think you’re amazing,” Juliana breathed into the space between them. “And sexy. And brave. And kind.”

The look on Valentina’s face from above her told Juliana it was the right answer, her eyes wide and shiny with love. “Mi, amor,” Valentina said with a slight catch in her throat. ”I think all of those things about you, too.” And to prove it, Valentina rolled her body down again, starting higher this time so she began against Juliana’s stomach, dragging her body with the practiced control of an athlete across Juliana’s exposed torso. Juliana could feel the heat from Valentina’s center against her bare skin, unsure which of them was the match and which was the fuse in this moment. 

When Valentina stilled her movement, Juliana immediately yearned for the friction again, to feel Valentina dragging her body across every inch of skin and muscle. They were the only things holding her body together right now, keeping all of the messy want and love and desire from seeping out and filtering into the ether, uncontainable and desperately begging to break free.

Could she die of want? Could Valentina push her until she imploded, until her body caved in on itself from the sheer force of sensory overload? She still wasn’t sure, but she knew tonight would be the night she found out.

Juliana slipped her hands up to Valentina’s hips, placing them lightly on each side of Valentina, trying to push their bodies together again, seeking the friction her body desperately craved. The action caused a small groan to escape Valentina’s lips, and Juliana felt emboldened with the impact she had on her girlfriend.

But Valentina resisted grinding against her again, although Juliana could see how Valentina’s thighs tensed, how they quivered with exertion as she held them in place. “That’s not fair,” Juliana panted against Valentina’s chest.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said with a quiver in her voice as she pushed Juliana back against the sofa. “I have more questions. And I need to make sure I have your attention. Does that work for you?” Valentina asked as she rolled her body down again, a small trail of wetness seeping through the scrap of lingerie covering her center, forming a trail along the space between Juliana’s belly button and the band of her own underwear in Valentina’s wake.

Juliana took in a sharp intake of breath at the sight, the trail of wetness causing the throb between Juliana’s legs to become an ache, almost painful with its intensity. Unable to stop herself, she removed a hand from Valentina’s hip and moved it slowly to her abdomen, to the wetness that reflected brightly even in the dimness of room. 

“What do you want to know?” Juliana asked as she touched at the slickness, mesmerized that she’d caused it. She ran her finger down the trail, knowing Valentina’s eyes followed her every move, the air completely still as neither of them took a breath. Like they were both unsure what would happen next.

And then with a boldness Juliana didn’t know she possessed, the only thought consuming her in this moment the desire to taste Valentina, she lifted her thumb to her lips and licked gently at the tip of her finger, the taste heady and consuming as it invaded her senses.

Valentina took a sharp breath, and her body rolled hard against Juliana, her hips spasming slightly like she’d lost control of her rhythm, of her calculated and practiced movements. “Baby,” Valentina said, looking down at her with a fire in her eyes that threatened to crack Juliana open from the inside.

“That wasn’t a question,” Juliana responded, her voice low but clear, surprised that she remembered anything right now beyond the taste of Valentina on her lips and tongue.

“Do you like the way I taste?” Valentina asked breathlessly, the syllables lilted and uncoordinated, almost like she’d forgotten how to speak.

“Yes,” Juliana answered simply, drawing her finger deeper into her mouth and removing the last drops of Valentina’s wetness from it.

“Do you want more?” Valentina asked, her tone more controlled but still breathless, like she’d just run a marathon.

Juliana responded immediately. There was no other possible answer. “Yes.”

Valentina’s focused stare grew even more penetrating, like she could see every molecule of want vibrating through Juliana’s body. “I want you to take it.”

Juliana slid her finger out of her mouth, slowly, tentatively, the possessiveness and control in Valentina’s voice causing a hot heat to spread across her skin, like her blood was boiling her from the inside with the speed at which it raced through her body. She thought she understood the implication of her words, but she wasn’t entirely sure. “Show me,” she said, waiting breathlessly for Valentina to take her hand and show her the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have anything to say...
> 
> Just know that I love you all, and I hope you're still having fun...


	9. Wildfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina's POV.
> 
> Valentina felt Juliana’s fingers fidget restlessly against her palm, and it reminded Valentina of all the other things Juliana could be doing with them right now, things that Juliana herself obviously wanted to do. “I know, mi amor,” Valentina answered with a broad smile, her hand tightening around Juliana’s. “I’m being selfish. We already agreed on the next activity,” Valentina continued as she lifted their hands into the air.
> 
> Juliana bit her lip, and Valentina could feel Juliana thighs tense below her. She’d only attempted to distract her because she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to control herself once Juliana touched her, once she discovered the full depth of how ready Valentina already was.
> 
> But they were past the point of no return, Valentina clenching her own thighs in anticipation for what would happen next. She lifted Juliana’s hand higher until it was an inch from her mouth, waiting a few seconds before she kissed the tips of each of Juliana’s fingers, one after the other.

The want in Juliana’s lidded eyes was driving Valentina absolutely crazy, but it was the trust she was willing to place in Valentina that threatened to send her tumbling over the edge. When Juliana said show me, all breathy and slightly raspy, Valentina wondered if she could keep up her resolve, keep pushing what was happening without fully succumbing to temptation.

And Juliana Valdes was pure temptation. Dark eyes and smooth skin and taut muscle. And a vulnerability that shone through in spite of it all, in spite of Juliana’s best intentions to keep it hidden at every turn. Valentina had never understood the attraction to the whole “dark and mysterious” sentiment until she’d met Juliana, and now, she spent her days thinking of nothing other than chipping away, melting down, softening Juliana’s hardened edges until she let herself be loved.

And Valentina absolutely wanted to love her. But not without pushing this thing as far as it could go, although it was the best kind of mutually self-assured destruction at this point.

She bit her lip, staring down at Juliana beneath her, hoping her body didn’t betray her before she was able to coax out a bit more emotion, a bit more want from the woman who never left her thoughts, who’d caused the greatest love she’d ever known to bloom within her.

Slowly, her thighs still clenched tightly as she willed herself to stay calm, she reached out and wrapped Juliana’s hand within her own, still slightly wet on the tip of her thumb where she’d just licked it. A pang of want shot straight to Valentina’s center at the discovery, but she focused on Juliana, on how she must be feeling. She had to if she was going to make it through this without coming apart on top of her, already close to being a sweaty, whimpering mess begging for Juliana to make her come, to help her find respite from the clawing, gnawing feeling that had taken up residence within her body and only intensified since she’d walked in the door to the Valle house tonight.

“Do you like my outfit?” Valentina asked as she held Juliana’s hand beneath her own, both now resting on the hard plane of Juliana’s stomach. 

“I think we both know the answer to that,” Juliana answered after a few seconds, like she found speaking difficult although she managed a half-hearted eyebrow raise to convey she understood that Valentina was fucking with her. 

Valentina felt Juliana’s fingers fidget restlessly against her palm, and it reminded Valentina of all the other things Juliana could be doing with them right now, things that Juliana herself obviously wanted to do. “I know, mi amor,” Valentina answered with a broad smile, her hand tightening around Juliana’s. “I’m being selfish. We already agreed on the next activity,” Valentina continued as she lifted their hands into the air.

Juliana bit her lip, and Valentina could feel Juliana thighs tense below her. She’d only attempted to distract her because she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to control herself once Juliana touched her, once she discovered the full depth of how ready Valentina already was.

But they were past the point of no return, Valentina clenching her own thighs in anticipation for what would happen next. She lifted Juliana’s hand higher until it was an inch from her mouth, waiting a few seconds before she kissed the tips of each of Juliana’s fingers, one after the other.

“I love you,” Valentina said as she placed a kiss on her thumb. “And I cherish you,” she said, placing another kiss on her pointer finger. “And you’re so sexy I can barely stand it,” she said, placing a kiss on her index finger. “And keep this finger free for me forever,” she said, placing a kiss on her ring finger. And then, she placed a light, sweet kiss on her pinky finger before speaking again. “And now, I’m going to show you exactly what you do to me.”

Juliana hadn’t spoken a word, but Valentina could see her chest rising and falling in tandem with each kiss she’d placed on her fingertips. Valentina gave Juliana’s hand a small squeeze before she lowered it to her abdomen, gently brushing Juliana’s knuckles against the expanse of skin. She took a deep breath, savoring the feeling of Juliana’s hand lightly ghosting along her stomach, already taut with anticipation. She stared down at her, Juliana’s eyes laser-focused on the movement of their interlaced hands, no longer breathing again as she waited. 

With their hands still clasped together, Valentina’s on top like Juliana was a marionette, she moved them downward, the lace on her underwear resisting slightly as it pushed away from her abdomen. She finally heard Juliana take a sharp breath as Valentina continued to push their hands lower, Juliana’s now pressed against her body, her underwear holding them in place. “I’m surprised you didn’t have more to say about my outfit Ms. Designer,” Valentina said with a slight laugh, working to do anything to distract them both from the heat building in her core, from the way Juliana’s slight touch burned a trail of fire across her skin.

Juliana didn’t take the bait, but Valentina felt Juliana’s hand quiver slightly as it dusted against her center. Valentina let out a deep breath at the contact, her stomach tight like a strung bow as she worked to hold herself in place.

“Do you want to touch me?” Valentina asked, working to ease any semblance of control back into her voice. She tried to keep her body as still as possible as she spoke, every word causing Juliana’s knuckles to bump into her center.

“Yes,” Juliana breathed into the room, her eyes focused on the hands she could no longer see beneath Valentina’s underwear.

Valentina flattened her hand against Juliana’s, forcing it flush against her center. A small spasm of want coursed through her at the touch, and she felt Juliana’s finger twitch against her. “I want you to feel what you do to me,” Valentina pushed out, her voice husky and lilted. “And then I want you to taste me. Will you do that, mi amor?” she asked, her breathing shallow as she worked to not move, her thighs burning with the exertion from holding back. She didn’t know what would happen when Juliana finally touched her, not anticipating when the night began that it may be her who came first.

“Yes,” Juliana answered as she moved her finger, and Valentina thought for a moment she might fall apart. Juliana began slowly, excruciatingly so, her knuckle dragging lightly against the outside of Valentina’s lips, pushing inward slightly until the slickness almost welcomed her inside. Like gravity. Like they were meant to find one another like this, magnetized from their mutual want.

“Tell me how it feels,” Valentina pushed out, staring down at Juliana from above, sweat springing up as it rolled down her back with the exertion of stillness.

Juliana’s finger moved slowly, starting low at her entrance, Valentina willing herself not to slide down just a few inches and push the finger inside of her, knowing she’d come apart in seconds if she did. “Wet,” Juliana said, like she was mesmerized by the sensation. “You’re so wet.” The tone in her voice was disbelief, like she still couldn’t imagine she had this effect on Valentina. That she was the reason Valentina sat above her, straddling her thighs, positively dripping from what had been happening between them.

“It’s because of you,” Valentina said, her words failing her as Juliana’s finger moved again, upward and closer to her clit, already throbbing with want. Her hips pushed down involuntarily to encourage Juliana’s finger to get closer to where she wanted her, a moan escaping between her parted lips.

And then, Juliana pushed harder, her long finger gaining a new confidence with the throaty sound pulled from Valentina’s body as it slid easily along the center, back down from where it came from. Valentina groaned in frustration as Juliana moved away from the bundle of nerves, her control gone in this moment.

Valentina looked down to find Juliana already staring up at her, eyes wide and black as a starless night. Her face was flushed, lips slightly parted, brow furrowed in concentration as her fingers gently pushed into Valentina. 

Her knees buckled, and Valentina didn’t want to fight it anymore, pushing her body down hard against Juliana’s finger, willing to do anything in this moment to find relief, to lessen the throbbing between her legs that made her feel like she was floating above her body.

She bucked her hips once, then again, only to find emptiness as they crashed down, Valentina’s eyes wild as she looked between them. Juliana had already snaked her hand from Valentina’s underwear, the digit glossy and coated with Valentina’s want.

She groaned into the room, her hips still grinding down, now against Juliana below her, staring with confusion. She felt flushed, acutely aware of a bead of sweat as it rolled down her back, her eyes hungry with a longing she couldn’t hide.

“Juliana,” Valentina strangled into the room, her body still moving against Juliana of its own accord.

And then she met Juliana’s gaze, eyes wide and deep, her stare flicking from Valentina’s face to the finger, then back again. She put the finger in her mouth agonizingly slowly and licked at the wetness. “I wanted to taste you again,” Juliana said with an innocence that caused Valentina to roll her hips forward again, harder than any other time as they worked to find friction. 

“Fuck,” Valentina breathed, realizing for the first time Juliana may be better at this game than her, Valentina having no idea her girlfriend had been winning all along as she’d kept her cards close to her chest. 

But she knew without a doubt that Juliana liked giving, a new path to the night emerging that didn’t force Valentina to become a simpering, throbbing mess as she continued to chip away at Juliana’s resistance. Valentina wasn’t patient, but she was persistent, and she’d never been one to deny herself the pleasures she wanted, even if Juliana still needed a little more coaxing.

Valentina pushed her body down hard against Juliana’s center, finally giving in to her need, every cell in her body aching for release. With a surprising deftness given her current lust-filled lack of coordination, she reached her long arms around Juliana’s neck and interlaced her fingers behind her head.

They’d never gotten to this place before, to when Valentina would literally beg for Juliana to touch her, to help release the hot, frantic energy building up in her body. But she loved the idea, Valentina thinking about it only made her feel more charged, another way to prove to Juliana exactly what she did to her. 

She’d wanted to lead by example, and letting Juliana understand how she’d broken her, how she’d outlasted any resolve Valentina had managed was the first step she hadn’t known she’d been climbing toward.

Valentina rested the back of her thighs against Juliana’s, her hands still clasped tightly behind her neck. Juliana’s hands had come to rest on Valentina’s hips, and although Juliana hadn’t broken yet, Valentina could feel her fingers digging into her flesh, how they yearned to push into something even softer and more inviting.

Valentina leaned forward and ghosted her lips across the shell of Juliana’s ear, and she felt Juliana quiver beneath her. “Baby,” Valentina said, the words true on her tongue. “Please. I need you to touch me again. I need you to make me come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have plans, and then those plans change as I'm writing the story. Much like the characters, I don't feel like I'm really in control here...
> 
> Officially slapping an E rating on this bitch. Enjoy!


	10. Mermaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana's POV.
> 
> Valentina didn’t ask permission again, sinking her hips even lower as she spread her thighs as flat as they could go against Juliana’s body, both of them now slightly sweaty with exertion. Valentina looked at her with the deepest, bluest eyes, the color of the sea after a storm, and Juliana felt the siren’s call again, luring her to the rocks without a care in the world.
> 
> “I like you like this,” Juliana admitted, running a hand down Valentina’s abdomen, feeling how it clenched beneath her fingers.
> 
> Valentina let out a throaty, strangled laugh at the admission before she brought her finger up to Juliana’s bottom lip, running her thumb across the soft skin. “Are you ready?” Valentina asked before slipping her finger down Juliana’s body until it reached the space where they connected.

Juliana hadn’t understood where the night was going when it began, and she didn’t know if Valentina had planned it, but there was a newness, a push and pull so delicately charged that she wasn’t sure where either of their bodies and wants ended or began. Of who was in control or who was being controlled. It was infinity. Everything and nothing, the way their bodies fused perfectly together, further complicating the absolutes that used to rule her existence in the best possible way.

Valentina, straddling her thighs and begging to be touched sent a shot straight to her core that was unlike anything she’d ever felt. She’d accepted that Valentina was attracted to her. And she’d accepted that Valentina had chosen to be with her. But now, she was discovering that along with acquiescing to Valentina’s wants and giving over control, she also liked having it, especially considering what it was doing to Valentina above her. When her fingers had moved through Valentina’s folds, all she could do was stare out into the darkness as she explored a wet, hot heat unlike anything she’d ever touched. Was this like what touching lava would feel like if it didn’t burn you? But whether touching Valentina burned her or not still remained to be seen.

“Baby,” Valentina panted into her ear again, her fingers kneading hard into Juliana’s neck. “I need you to touch me. I can’t stand it anymore,” she said before sitting up again, her hands still wound around Juliana like the serpent in the garden, her hips grinding down against her.

Juliana thought for the first time what would happen if she didn’t submit, never having considered the possibility before in any of their previous times together. Valentina usually came to her first, initiating things between them as she urged Juliana to touch her, to let herself be touched. Be loved. But never before had it been this wanton, like Valentina’s body was on fire and Juliana the only water for miles.

Juliana couldn’t take her eyes off of Valentina. Her thighs, tight with want as the muscles rippled through them with tiny spasms as she held them in place. Her torso, clenched so hard she could see each individual ab, her labored breathing forcing contractions through her diaphragm. Her chest, rising and falling with no discernible rhythm, a metronome Juliana wanted to place her ear against and listen to forever. Her small, pebbled nipples, pushing out with each exhalation, like they wanted nothing more than to break free from the confines of her bra. And her face. God, Juliana had never seen anything so beautiful. Flushed with heat, her lips wet as she continued to lick them as she begged, her voice dry and raspy as the fire continued to burn her from the inside.

She’d done this. She’d caused this. However it had started, they’d come to this point, and Juliana realized she wasn’t quite ready to let it go yet. It wasn’t even letting go. It was that she never held tightly to begin with. She lived her life with one foot out the door, one eye open in her sleep. But she didn’t want to do that with Valentina. She wanted to be present. To feel. To be felt.

Valentina always gave freely, so freely that Juliana had never considered that she had more to give. That there was something deep inside of Valentina that remained untapped, that her reservoir of want ran deeper than maybe either of them had ever considered.

But now, all she could think about was pulling it from Valentina, of clinging to this feeling like the last wisps of a dream before waking up. Of finding out how deep the fire burned.

With Valentina still on top of her, Juliana sat up straighter on the sofa, moving her head forward. Valentina had asked to be touched, but she’d never specified where. With only a slight hesitation, Juliana flicked out her tongue against the hard nipple in front of her, wondering why she’d never encouraged Valentina to wear lace before. 

“Fuck,” Valentina breathed out, her fingers digging so hard into Juliana’s neck she knew there’d be marks tomorrow. Valentina was typically soft with her, maybe too soft--worried that Juliana was made of porcelain instead of forged from iron, worried that she’d break her instead of shape her. Juliana wanted to do this forever, for Valentina to be the ocean as it rolled for hundreds of years over the rock, slowly changing it, the way she knew that Valentina’s love had been changing her. 

Valentina disengaged her hands and reached behind her in a swift motion, unclasping her lace bra and letting it fall between them. “Please,” she begged, staring at Juliana with an intensity that she had never seen before, that she could get lost in like a siren’s song, unsure what she had ever been doing before she’d heard it. Juliana tilted her head forward again, taking the small peak delicately between her lips, savoring the taste of Valentina’s skin, slightly salty with sweat. “Juls,” Valentina said as more moan than anything as she arched her back, pushing her chest forward so that Juliana could take more. 

And Juliana did. She licked at the already sensitive nipple before drawing it back into her mouth, toying with the bud as she gently rolled it around her tongue. Valentina’s moans continued to encourage her, Valentina’s body beginning to grind against her again, the friction between them so intense she thought they might shock one another if she touched her anywhere else.

She moved her hands up to Valentina’s hips, anchoring her in place as Valentina worked against Juliana’s body, as she continued to seek the release she desperately craved. And then, Juliana released the nipple with a gentle popping sound, earning a strangled protest from the body above her. She stared up at Valentina, eyes heavy and lidded with want, unable to believe for a moment that it was real. That Valentina was real. And she was hers.

“I can’t take it, mi amor,” Valentina said breathlessly. “I can’t take it…” She stared at Juliana with a longing so deep that it pulled from within her core, Juliana’s body quivering as she felt it with every fiber of her being. “Can I touch myself?” Valentina asked, not a hint of teasing in her voice. She’d given herself over to Juliana, the weight of the responsibility and the weight of Valentina’s body on top of her threatening to shatter Juliana into pieces.

They hadn’t done this before. She’d wondered if Valentina ever touched herself when they weren’t together, wondering beyond that if it was Juliana she’d imagined if she did. And now, presented with the chance to see Valentina in this way, she needed to find out. “Yes,” Juliana said as she willed her voice to remain even. 

Tonight had pushed her beyond feeling embarrassed. Beyond worrying what Valentina would think about her, the only thought consuming her know was how deep Valentina’s want ran. How much she had within her to give. If Valentina could be brave enough to ask if she could touch herself in front of her, Juliana could damn sure be brave enough to watch her.

Valentina didn’t ask permission again, sinking her hips even lower as she spread her thighs as flat as they could go against Juliana’s body, both of them now slightly sweaty with exertion. Valentina looked at her with the deepest, bluest eyes, the color of the sea after a storm, and Juliana felt the siren’s call again, luring her to the rocks without a care in the world.

“I like you like this,” Juliana admitted, running a hand down Valentina’s abdomen, feeling how it clenched beneath her fingers.

Valentina let out a throaty, strangled laugh at the admission before she brought her finger up to Juliana’s bottom lip, running her thumb across the soft skin. “Are you ready?” Valentina asked before slipping her finger down Juliana’s body until it reached the space where they connected.

Even though Valentina was the one about to do something vulnerable, to put herself on display in a way Juliana had never seen, she was still checking in with her, still making sure Juliana was ready for the next step. The thoughtfulness, on top of all of the other emotions coursing through Juliana’s body, had her able to do little more than remember to breathe. “Yes,” Juliana sighed deeply as she stared at Valentina’s hand, afraid to say anything more for fear she’d stop.

But Valentina didn’t stop. She shifted slightly as her hand reached into the band of her underwear, working to find a comfortable position. As the hand disappeared, she brought her other arm up around Juliana as it had been before, her fingers flexing hard into the muscle of her neck. 

And as Valentina touched herself for the first time, her mouth parted sightly, a long, delicious sigh pushed from deep within her body. Juliana could feel Valentina’s eyes trained on her as Juliana’s eyes remained focused on the hand beneath Valentina’s underwear, moving with purpose in search of release. Juliana thought she could deal with being a bystander, could handle watching Valentina touch herself in front of her. That was until Valentina started to speak.

“Baby,” Valentina panted as Juliana saw her hand begin to pick up momentum, as she could see Valentina pressing harder, going deeper. A tremble rolled through her body when she felt Valentina’s fingers dig hard into her neck, when Valentina let out another breathy moan. “I want it to be you,” she said as she stared down toward Juliana, continuing to pick up momentum, Valentina’s hand bumping against Juliana’s center with the force of the motion. 

She looked up at Valentina. At her eyes, like they were taking in all the light in the world. At her lips, like every breath was a prayer whispered into the night. And her brow, flecked with small, tantalizing beads of sweat dripping from her temple and rolling slowly down her neck.

“Come here,” Juliana said gruffly as she pulled Valentina’s body down closer to her own. Valentina complied immediately, pushing the weight of her upper body against Juliana in a swift motion, her long hair falling over the back of Juliana’s shoulder. 

Juliana licked at Valentina’s skin, at the sweat that ran wild down her neck, the beads hot and salty against her tongue. She moaned at the taste, eliciting another moan from Valentina, their voices like echos of one another instead of two separate people.

Juliana grabbed onto Valentina’s hair that cascaded across her back, pushing it behind her arched shoulders to find more skin. More to taste. More to touch. As she grabbed the now slightly damp mane, Juliana flicked it around Valentina’s body to expose her chest, her nipples tight with want, pushing toward her as Valentina’s body arched into the most seductive shapes Juliana had ever seen. Valentina made a noise that didn’t seem possible, like if pure want had been distilled into Valentina’s voice, into her breath. 

“Pull my hair,” Valentina said unevenly, her eyes glassy as she continued to grind down against Juliana’s center with an abandon that caused Juliana’s body to pulse and quiver underneath her. 

Fuck. So maybe they were both a bit too tender with one another when it came down to it, Juliana never before considering the possibility. But she loved Valentina’s hair. Loved how it cascaded around her face in loose, soft curls. Loved how she played with the tendrils in her long fingers when she was thinking about something. And she loved it right now. Slightly matted to her forehead with sweat, sweat caused as she worked toward release. Literally begged for it in this moment.

With her thighs spread so wide, Valentina was closer to Juliana’s height now, their breaths mingling in the space between them. Without wasting more time, she anchored a hand on Valentina’s bucking hip before snaking the other one up to her hair, around the back and settling her fingers near the nape of her neck. 

Valentina moaned at the action. “Please, baby. Please. I feel like I’m on fire,” she pushed out, Juliana surprised the sweat on their bodies didn’t evaporate with the heat they both felt. Juliana pulled lightly, tentatively, as Valentina arched up against her. “Baby, fuck…” Valentina cried as Juliana pulled a little harder, as her hand found friction near the nape of Valentina’s neck.

Juliana pushed her head forward, unable to stop herself from the long expanse of Valentina’s neck and chest presented before her. She licked again, as she’d done before, although this time she intermingled small bites, Valentina’s chest hot against her lips. 

And then, she felt the moment shift, between the touching and the licking and the hair pulling, Valentina’s need had come together to be blown apart, her legs trembling uncontrollably on top of Juliana’s. She was mesmerized, watching Valentina above her, their bodies connected and slippery against one another, Valentina’s hand working between her center with a focus that made Juliana want to beg her right back for her girlfriend to do that to her, to run her fingers across and through and in Juliana’s body. 

The air was so thick she could barely breathe as she watched Valentina come apart above her, panting deeply, lips parted. Valentina rolled her body hard against Juliana, a strangled sigh escaping her mouth as she fell against her like a rag doll, Juliana in awe of the weight of Valentina’s body pressed closely against her own now that she couldn’t find the strength to hold herself up anymore. 

The sex kitten in lingerie and cherry red lipstick from moments ago was gone, Valentina quickly shifting one of her legs so that she rested on Juliana like a parent holding a sleepy child, her head buried against Juliana’s chest, her breathing still coming out at uneven intervals as small spasms wracked through her body as she came down. “I love you, mi amor,” Valentina kept repeating as the sound reverberated into Juliana’s chest, like they were the only words she knew anymore, the only ones she remembered after what she’d just experienced. 

Juliana’s arms wrapped around Valentina, naked save for the smallest wisp of fabric she still wore. Juliana hadn’t known this was possible. Hadn’t understood that Valentina could push herself to be vulnerable, too, to reach a level that forced them both to crumble with the hope of rebuilding one another. She’d selfishly thought it was just her. Her demons and her unwillingness and her fear. 

She held Valentina in the darkened room, kissing her temples gently and running her hands soothingly up and down her arms as she continued to come down, small mews of pleasure finding their way out of Valentina’s lips as she burrowed deeper against Juliana’s chest. And finally, as the rhythm of their breathing found one another in the stillness of the room, she started to understand what it could truly mean to let herself be loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're 10 chapters in and maaaaaybe 2 hours of time have passed? I dk. This is a whole thing. Thank you again for reading! I live for your comments :)
> 
> You can find me on twitter @monicamccallan if you wanna chat about Julinatina or lesbian romance in general.


	11. Slush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She hadn’t realized what she truly wanted until she’d begged on her knees in front of Juliana. A need to be seen. A need to be broken. Maybe a need to be willing to break herself. A need to be torn down and rebuilt stronger than she’d been before. 
> 
> That’s the thing about sunny dispositions—they cast the largest shadows, but that’s not what people focus on when they’re basking in the warmth of the light.

Valentina hadn’t understood that she’d come into tonight needing something. She hadn’t understood that for all the attention she got from the world, from the milieu of her life, people filtering in and out of the house every second of every day, it was hollow and empty. Nothing more than scenery on a movie set with no real intention for a life to be lived there. Her location always known, her actions always scrutinized, but they didn’t really see her. Maybe she’d never really seen herself.

And that hadn’t bothered her all that much, until she’d met Juliana. From that moment, she only wanted the attention of one person, even if she hadn’t realized it yet. She only cared if one person truly saw her. One person who she’d met at the park, their lives intertwining as if the fates had architected it themselves. 

She hadn’t realized what she truly wanted until she’d begged on her knees in front of Juliana. A need to be seen. A need to be broken. Maybe a need to be willing to break herself. A need to be torn down and rebuilt stronger than she’d been before. 

That’s the thing about sunny dispositions—they cast the largest shadows, but that’s not what people focus on when they’re basking in the warmth of the light. But light can’t exist without darkness. 

When they’d met, people never stopped commenting on their differences. On how they were opposites in status and pedigree and opportunity, with the exception of their gender, which people seemed to care far too much about. But as she sat in Juliana’s arms, she finally realized she’d been wrong about the opposites they teach to children. Wrong about her perception of each side of the spectrum. Hate wasn’t the opposite of love. Emptiness was. The gut-wrenching sadness of loneliness and isolation and despair of not being seen, even when constantly surrounded.

She’d believed Juliana to be the lonely one. And maybe she was, too. But Juliana wasn’t the only one. Valentina had been so busy over the past few months worrying about her father and lusting after Juliana and missing Lucia and feeling guilty about Lucho that she’d never stopped to think about what she needed, hadn’t considered the impact of the shadow that had grown larger. Not in spite of, but because of, her attempt to temper it with a brighter shine. To be the lightness in the chaos and uncertainty of darkness.

Valentina laid against Juliana’s chest as she held her, Juliana’s heartbeat strong and rhythmic against her ear, like she was listening to the sound of the waves through a shell. She let out a deep sigh, still unable to speak as she came down from her orgasm, surprised that words failed her as she continued to burrow deeper into Juliana’s chest, to seek comfort and stability in a way she’d never known could be hers.

She hadn’t known it when she’d been sent away after the death of her mother. And she hadn’t known it when she’d just accepted that her boyfriend laying hands on her was expected. And she hadn’t known it when her family had imploded with deaths and kidnappings and arrests like a line of infinite dominos.

Until Juliana. A safe harbor in the storm. An umbrella to give her shade so that she didn’t need to move into the shadow on days when the brightness was too hot, when it burned her from the heat. She almost wanted to laugh when she thought about how Juliana kept coming to her yet pushing her away in those first days, how they had circled one another so delicately, the same way Juliana’s arms encircled her now, how they’d talked about this thing between them in spite of not having the words to do so, to convey what was truly happening.

“Val?” she heard Juliana whisper after minutes of silence in the darkened room, tentatively, like she was afraid to startle Valentina, their breathing the only sounds anchoring them to reality.

Valentina looked up toward Juliana’s face, her dark eyes shiny as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said as she moved a hand up toward Juliana’s cheek, her voice laced with concern, raspy and foreign against her throat as it pushed out into the air. “Are you okay?”

“Val,” Juliana said, clearer this time, like the single syllable encompassed a world of implication. Like a phrase that didn’t translate, existing beyond the realm of cerebral understanding, only able to be felt as an emotion when pushed from between Juliana’s soft lips. Juliana stroked Valentina’s hair soothingly, staring down at her with a clearness that Valentina didn’t know if she’d ever seen in her eyes. “I’m not crying because I’m sad.”

“Then why are you crying?” Valentina asked as she ran her other hand along Juliana’s arm, the skin prickling against each touch.

“I’m happy, mi amor,” Juliana said without a hint of her characteristic embarrassment. “I didn’t know I could ever feel anything this much.”

“Honestly, me neither,” Valentina said with a hiccup in her voice, her own eyes growing shiny as she stared at Juliana above her. “I don’t think I understood how much I needed this. Needed you.” She scrunched her nose, fumbling for the right words to convey her emotion. “You see me. You see me in a way I’ve never been able to even see myself, and finally, for the first time, I feel like I’m seeing myself through your eyes.” She let out a small laugh that jostled both of their bodies. “God, does that sound crazy?”

“No, mi amor,” Juliana said so quickly Valentina had barely managed to get her last words out. “You said it so much better than I ever could have, but I feel the same way.”

Valentina twisted her body slightly so that she could see more of Juliana, shifting back a few inches so there was the smallest amount of space between them. “That’s good,” Valentina responded simply. “I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t,” she continued, laying her head back on Juliana’s chest, content to bask in this moment forever.

She felt Juliana moved slightly underneath her, and without moving away this time, she stared upward toward her. Considering how she’d just come apart above Juliana completely in spite of her best laid plans, she had no idea how Juliana wasn’t consumed by her hunger right now, allowing Valentina these precious moments to collect the pieces of herself that had combusted into the air all around them. 

“We should get some water,” Juliana said, her eyes light as her arms held Valentina tightly within them.

“Are you...did I?” Valentina asked with pause.

“No, no, mi amor,” Juliana shushed quickly into Valentinal’s temple. “I can’t even put into words how much I want you right now. But we need food. And we need water. And honestly, we probably need a shower,” she said with a slight laugh that warmed Valentina from the inside out, once again becoming aware of the sweat slicked against both of their bodies. “Let’s grab the fruit and go upstairs?” Juliana asked with a confidence that made Valentina squirm, surprised at how quickly her body was rebounding with hunger, with the need to explore this thing happening between them.

“Okay...but I’m bringing the box upstairs,” Valentina teased, slowly beginning to come back to the present, to all the things they still had left to do together.

Juliana’s brows drew upward with surprise. “Wait...there’s more in the box?” she asked with the most endearing sound of disbelief, shaking her head back and forth lightly. 

Valentina cuddled into her shoulder one more time without speaking before she moved to stand up slowly, wondering if she’d be able to still walk tomorrow with the exertion she’d put her thighs through over the past hour. 

And with so much tenderness Valentina thought her heart might explode, Juliana stood next to her, intertwining their fingers. “Let me take care of you right now, and then I promise I’ll let you take care of me,” Juliana said with a quiet confidence that wrapped around Valentina’s entire body.

They walked to the kitchen hand in hand after they’d blown out the candles in the living room, neither speaking. Valentina laughed as they reached the bright lights of the kitchen, small blooms of color dotting along Juliana’s neck. Juliana cocked her head to the side, looking unfairly good in her underwear and bra as she began to laugh, too. “I don’t think we can leave the house this weekend even if we wanted to,“ Juliana joked, motioning toward Valentina’s exposed chest with her head.

Valentina looked down, surprised to discover her own chest dotted with bite marks that started just above her breast and travelled as high as her line of sight would allow. She hadn’t noticed as they’d happened with the fire that had burned through her veins, the want that had coursed through her body.

Juliana only separated their hands to fill two large glasses of water, handing one to Valentina to drink. “I’m going to get the box,” Valentina said after she took a long gulp of water, only realizing how thirsty she’d been after the liquid washed down her dry throat. “There’s more fruit in the fridge.”

Valentina stared at Juliana as she gulped down her entire glass before refilling it, only then moving over toward the fridge to ransack it for food. Valentina almost laughed at how quickly Juliana grabbed the items and moved toward the doorway, like she couldn’t wait to go upstairs.

“Val,” Juliana whined into the bright room as Valentina took long, leisurely sips from her glass without moving, her long arm pushed into the kitchen island, propping herself up. 

“Yes, mi amor?” Valentina responded, pretending that she didn’t notice how Juliana bounced slightly from foot to foot, something she almost never did.

“I want to shower with you,” Juliana said with a breathiness in her voice that caused a pang of want to shoot through Valentina, both surprised and turned on by her bold words. Maybe they really had turned a corner on tonight, which made everything else Valentina wanted to do seeming like more of a possibility with each passing moment. 

“I want to shower with you, too,” Valentina said, gaining some of her confidence back slowly as the words rolled from her lips. She took a step forward, no longer caring that she only wore a small pair of underwear in the bright kitchen, living for the way Juliana’s eyes scanned her body up and down like she’d never get enough, like she was always discovering something new when she looked at her. When she saw her. 

She’d wanted to finally feel seen, and the hunger in Juliana’s eyes only made her abdomen coil tighter, the gnawing inside her body coming back to the forefront of her awareness when she remembered that Juliana hadn’t come yet. That she hadn’t been able to let go after the buildup between them, wondering how she wasn’t a puddle of want in this moment. But Juliana had always been good at compartmentalizing, Valentina’s heart softening when she realized Juliana was putting off her own desires to be there for Valentina, to be what she hadn’t even known she needed in the living room.

God, could Juliana be any more perfect? Any more precious? It was finally time Valentina helped Juliana have her own moment of collapse, and she wanted nothing more than to hold her in her arms while it happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you see what I did there... now I'm making you wait, too :)
> 
> I felt like a chapter to regroup was necessary considering I still want to make this realistic. The bbs needed water, and I don't care how athletic you are, it's not good to put that much stress on your thighs for so long.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the emotions in this chapter, and we're gearing up for the next round!
> 
> This title of this chapter Slush, and it's one of my favorite instrumental songs. You can check out the playlist for the chapter titles here: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R
> 
> Also, I have some Juliantina videos I've made, some of which feature the songs I've used as chapter titles. Those are available here: http://bit.ly/2FkpWCw


	12. Nobody Compares To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana's POV.
> 
> “Baby,” Valentina said as her hands snaked around Juliana’s back. “I want you naked.”
> 
> “I want that, too,” Juliana said as she already felt Valentina working on her bra strap, the material coming free behind her before Valentina grabbed it and threw it across the room. Juliana couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped. “What did that bra ever do to you?” Juliana said with a brow raise for emphasis.
> 
> “It stopped me from doing this,” Valentina said as she dipped her head low. She wasted no time once Juliana’s chest was exposed, encircling a nipple with her tongue and flicking at the sensitive bud, already taut from Valentina’s ministrations to her body downstairs.
> 
> Juliana couldn’t stop the moan that popped out, her body responding like they hadn’t ever stopped. “Val,” she moaned into the bathroom. “Get in the shower.”

Something inside of Juliana had cracked. She’d never felt a longing like this before, so much more than affection or desire or even lustful want. Like all the scattered pieces of her soul from San Antonio to Mexico City had finally found their way back together, a sensation pulling from deep within her that made her feel like she was floating.

All she could manage to do was put one foot in front of the other as she followed Valentina’s almost naked body up the steps, to the room they shared together when they spent time at the Valle house. Juliana’s life had been ruled by never having a place to call her own, sleeping on a sofa in a trailer for most of her childhood and then moving from one temporary, uncomfortable bed to the next. But no matter where she and Valentina slept together, it felt like home. _Valentina_ felt like home.

Her pulse quickened as they reached the landing, Juliana following Valentina into the bedroom. _Their_ bedroom. It was bathed in cool colors and simple prints, and Juliana felt so safe every time she stepped inside. Valentina had asked her during the sporadic nights spent there together about her opinion on things, saying something silly about Juliana being a “revelation designer” and wanting her input since the home hadn’t been updated in close to a decade.

Each time they ended up back here, Juliana noticed slight changes to the decor. New silk sheets. A different headboard. A painting that she could swear they’d seen together when browsing the shops on the boulevard but that Valentina hadn’t purchased then. Juliana smiled reflexively as she stared at the room that had so quickly become an amalgamation of both of them, something they’d built together.

Valentina put the box down in an oversized stuffed chair in the corner before returning to her, crossing the room in a few quick steps with her impossibly long legs. Like there was nothing more normal than her walking mostly naked across the bedroom of the Valle house with a mysterious box after having come apart in Juliana’s arms only minutes ago.

Valentina had this way about her that Juliana loved, this magnetic energy that made Juliana want to know every single thing about her. To stare at her for hours on end and trace every freckle and divot and contour of her body. To look inside and see beyond the perfect exterior to the complicated, messy, vulnerable person that Juliana had caught a glimpse of downstairs. The person that Juliana now understood had been begging to come out with every sip of tequila Valentina used to drink and every too bright smile she’d flash in spite of everything happening in her life.

Valentina plucked the glass of water cradled between Juliana’s hands and placed it on a dresser. “Come with me,” she said as she held out her hand.

“Anywhere,” Juliana said as she placed her hand within Valentina’s.

Valentina led her to the en suite bathroom, only letting go of Juliana’s hand to turn on the faucet. Juliana stared at Valentina as she bent slightly into the shower, watching as the column of her spine lengthened along her back, at the two small dimples above the band of lace. She turned back toward Juliana, stepping into her space and staring at her so deeply that Juliana thought she might crumble under the weight of it.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said gently as she ran her hands up and down Juliana’s arms. “Can I undress you?”

Juliana nodded as she took her own small step forward, their bodies almost, but not quite, brushing from the closeness. Valentina seemed to have rebounded since the living room, even more confident than before if that was possible.

And now that Juliana knew the person she cared about most in this world was okay again, she’d become acutely aware of the dull ache between her legs, the ache becoming more persistent as she stared at Valentina in the bright room. Her lithe frame. The gentle swell of her breasts. Her lips, although some of the cherry red had begun to wear off from all the places they’d pressed against.

Juliana stared hungrily at Valentina’s body, her eyes working to take in everything at once. “Yes. Take the rest of your clothing off, too,” she responded, her voice lower than intended.

Valentina let out a gentle laugh that pushed her chest forward as she looked down at herself. “Might take me awhile. I still have so much on…” she said, gesturing down to her almost naked frame.

“I will miss those underwear,” Juliana said solemnly as she took the last small step, their bodies now connected at the hips, Valentina’s naked chest brushing lightly against Juliana’s bra. “But I think it will be worth it.” Juliana couldn’t stop the grin that split across her face although she willed her voice to remain serious.

“Baby,” Valentina said as her hands snaked around Juliana’s back. “I want you naked.”

“I want that, too,” Juliana said as she already felt Valentina working on her bra strap, the material coming free behind her before Valentina grabbed it and threw it across the room. Juliana couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped. “What did that bra ever do to you?” Juliana said with a brow raise for emphasis.

“It stopped me from doing this,” Valentina said as she dipped her head low. She wasted no time once Juliana’s chest was exposed, encircling a nipple with her tongue and flicking at the sensitive bud, already taut from Valentina’s ministrations to her body downstairs.

Juliana couldn’t stop the moan that popped out, her body responding like they hadn’t ever stopped. “Val,” she moaned into the bathroom. “Get in the shower.”

Valentina’s mouth split into a toothy grin as her hands dropped down, her fingers fidgeting against the waistband of Juliana’s underwear. Valentina lifted a brow, the implication obvious. “Yes,” Juliana said faster than she’d thought possible.

Valentina pressed her fingers hard into Juliana’s hips, pulling her underwear down slowly, applying the same amount of pressure as her hands moved down Juliana’s thighs. At her knees, they fell the rest of the way to the floor with a flutter.

Juliana stepped out of them quickly, completely naked as she moved her hands toward Valentina. “Your turn,” she said with a small smile, working to maintain her composure.

Valentina bit her bottom lip as she took a step forward, jutting her hips out for Juliana to undress her. Peeling Valentina’s underwear from her body had to be one of Juliana’s absolute favorite activities, making up for a lifetime of never having gifts to unwrap, and she tried to keep her hands from shaking as her fingers plucked at the lace fabric tight against Valentina’s body. She slid her fingers inside the band, remembering when her hand had been inside before, pressed flat against Valentina’s center, when the heat radiating from Valentina’s body had threatened to engulf her. Had threatened to leave her nothing but a pile of ash and bone in Valentina’s wake.

“God, you’re sexy,” Juliana admitted, Valentina’s body taut as she remained absolutely still.

“I’ve got to keep up with you, mi amor,” Valentina answered as stepped out of her underwear with a deft sidestep and placed a sloppy kiss on Juliana’s lips.

Juliana leaned into the wet kiss for a moment before she snaked her arm around Valentina’s hips and gave her ass a gentle slap. “Come on, ladykiller,” Juliana said as she pulled her toward the shower with a laugh.

The stream of water was already hot as they stepped inside, Juliana wanting nothing more than to feel Valentina against her again, to continue what they’d started downstairs. She couldn’t help but think of their first time, when Valentina had backed her up against the cool tile of the shower in the Carvajal house and shown her what it felt like to fall apart. To fall together.

Nothing would ever be quite the same as that first time--the tentative touches, the long embraces, the sheer newness of it all. The trepidation Juliana had felt, when her body had been exhausted beyond measure from wanting to go fast but working to go slow. When Valentina had pulled words and sounds from her that she’d never uttered before, the steam from the hot water obscuring her vision, giving her a confidence in those moments she hadn’t known she’d needed to continue pressing forward. She could still remember it like it was yesterday, their bodies wet from water and sweat and kisses, Valentina’s long frame moulded against her own. Pushing. Exploring. Connecting.

And when they’d finally made it out of the shower as the water had begun to run cold, they’d slipped into bed together like it was the most natural thing in the world. Valentina’s arms had snaked around her, their naked bodies pressed together under the warmth of the sheets, a lovers’ cocoon that belonged to no one but them. That had been the first time Juliana had experienced the sensation of everything melting away, of being perfectly present in the present, wanting nothing more than to stay like that with Valentina forever.

But morning had brought the problems of the world, literally, to the bedroom door. Chivis and Eva and Lupe and a nagging that had lessened the euphoria that had come with the touches and the exhalations of ragged breaths and the wish to exist in their moment of bliss forever, away from the weight of the world.

What had happened was real. So fucking real. But life had still continued on as they’d metamorphosed inside their cocoon together. The world had still expected them to be caterpillars, but they’d become butterflies.

Even so, Juliana hadn’t learned to use her wings yet. Hadn’t understood the change. So she’d pushed Valentina away. She’d doubted they could make things work. She’d never for a moment doubted her love for the other woman, but the idea of Valentina’s life becoming even one iota harder had made her want to rip off her wings and slip away into the darkness of it all, into a world where she didn’t dare dream of flying again.

As Juliana’s mind ran wild, Valentina had started lathering her body, shockingly focused on the practical for once in her life. Juliana couldn’t stand it anymore as she watched Valentina’s hands stroke against her own skin, wanting to be the small bubbles that danced across Valentina’s body. She couldn’t stand not being close to her, not touching her. She took a step forward, Valentina facing the stream of water as Juliana came up behind her, pressing their bodies close together. Valentina’s ass bumped against Juliana’s center as she held her close, a small sigh escaping Juliana’s lips at the contact.

“Mi amor,” Valentina whispered as she leaned her head back against Juliana’s chest, the lather on her body already forgotten. Juliana was still in awe that she caused this type of response in Valentina, that no matter when or where, she immediately melted into Juliana’s touch.

Juliana ran her hands lightly down Valentina’s sides before snaking them around her ribcage, her fingers pushing gently into the wet skin. “You feel so good,” Juliana said quietly, almost inaudible with the sound of the water falling from the rain shower above.

With a quickness that surprised Juliana, Valentina spun around like a ballerina doing a pirouette. And just like that, they were chest to chest, their naked bodies pressed together in the most delicious way. The water running between them caused Valentina’s body to slide against her, and she felt Valentina jutting her hips out so their centers were flush.

Valentina pushed Juliana’s hair behind her neck and bent quickly to place light, wet kisses against her sternum and throat. “You’re so sexy,” Valentina breathed against her, the sound causing small vibrations against her wet skin. Valentina’s words sent a shot straight to Juliana’s center, although she still didn’t speak. But Valentina continued undeterred. “You must want something, mi amor,” she said, her lips not leaving Juliana’s neck although she could feel Valentina’s hand winding lower against their connected bodies.

“Val,” Juliana whined into the shower. Apparently, teasing Valentina was back, and she was clearly on a mission.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” Valentina said as she began to nip at Juliana’s skin, pressing her hand hard into Juliana’s hip as she pushed their bodies even closer. She felt Valentina from the tips of her toes to the top of her head, sparks of want zig zagging across her body, her stomach tightening with the touches.

“I want you to touch me,” she said breathlessly as Valentina continued her ministrations on her neck.

“I am touching you…” She could feel Valentina smile devilishly against her as she said the words.

Being as careful as possible, she backed Valentina up against the shower, as had been done to her those months ago, the roles now reversed. “You know what I mean,” Juliana said, working to keep the slight annoyance from her voice. She wanted to be mad at how Valentina was toying with her, but she wasn’t. She understood that Valentina knew that no one had ever asked Juliana what she wanted, that her life had been ruled by people taking and telling, not asking and encouraging.

Valentina’s back bumped into the wall, but Juliana continued to press forward until their bodies were moulded together, Juliana pushing hard against Valentina from their chests to their thighs. She slid her body slightly over so that Valentina’s leg pushed between her own, unable to stop the moan that escaped from her lips. “Tell me,” Valentina said raggedly as she dropped her hands from Juliana’s shoulders down to her ass, starting to knead the muscle and flesh at a leisurely pace.

“I want your fingers,” Juliana said with a rasp as Valentina continued to massage her fingers into the soft skin. It had become clear over the past months that Valentina had a thing for Juliana’s ass, touching it whenever the opportunity presented itself. Juliana couldn’t say she minded.

Valentina moved her hands to Juliana’s hips, rocking off the wall so that Juliana stepped back slightly as Valentina pushed into her space. Valentina spun her around before Juliana had processed what was happening, and now, it was like the first time, and she still got butterflies in her stomach like no time had passed.

She took in a quick breath as she felt Valentina’s hand sliding down between them, ghosting over her center before she pressed her hand flush against her. “You deserve everything you want,” Valentina said breathlessly as she slid a finger along the outside, Juliana’s body throbbing with anticipation. For Valentina to go harder. Push deeper.

Valentina’s words, mixed with her touch, had Juliana reeling, her skin raw with the sheer force of her want. And finally, like she’d waited a lifetime, she felt Valentina use enough force to slip her finger through Juliana’s lips, already slick and welcoming from the torturous hours of teasing at the hands of Valentina. But all would be forgiven if Valentina finally finished what she’d started when she’d skipped into the Valle house tonight. Before Juliana had understood her world would be turned upside down.

“Baby,” Valentina breathed hot against her neck as she positioned her leg between Juliana’s. “You feel so good.”

Juliana was beside herself with Valentina’s long, exploratory touches up and down her center, her finger slipping easily along her entrance as Valentina continued to apply the slightest amount of pressure. “Val,” she panted against Valentina’s shoulder, like it was the only word she remembered.

“I’ve got you, mi amor,” Valentina said as she pushed Juliana harder into the wall to give herself more leverage. Juliana dropped her neck as she rested her lips against Valentina’s slick shoulder, biting at the exposed skin gently before sucking it into her mouth. And as Valentina pushed harder against her, finally sliding her finger up to Juliana’s clit, she bit down harder than planned into Valentina, earning a deep moan from her girlfriend’s perfectly parted lips. “Fuck,” Valentina said as she began to work her finger faster, circling around the bundle of nerves, the touch making Juliana feel as if her knees might give out on her at any moment. “I want to make you come, baby,” Valentina said as she pushed her thigh into her hand which pushed her hand harder into Juliana’s center. “Do you want to come?” Valentina asked as she stared at Juliana with eyes as clear as glass, an innocence in her voice that juxtaposed the words coming out of her mouth.

Like the words came from another person, Juliana arched her eyebrow slowly before cocking her head to the side. “I wanted you to fuck me downstairs,” she said with a smirk.

A blush bloomed wild across Valentina’s face before her lips split into a smile so pure and true that Juliana wanted to bottle it and keep it forever. “You’re right, mi amor,” Valentina said as she pushed forward and placed a deep kiss on Juliana’s lips. “And for that, I will have to show you how thankful I am for your patience.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've started to round out some central themes in this work and have a few things with and between the characters I hope to accomplish as it evolves, but right now there's no end in sight. Hope everyone is still enjoying!
> 
> Also, no promises I can work them in, but feel free to let me know if there's anything you'd like to see!


	13. You & Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina's POV.
> 
> The entire night felt like they’d been circling around one another, switching places with such a rapid frequency that Valentina didn’t know which way was up or down anymore. But she loved it, like they were doing a dance. And like most dances, she didn’t know the steps, but she wanted to figure them out with Juliana, to spin around with her into oblivion regardless of who was in the lead.
> 
> Valentina’s center throbbed with the teasing, as hot as any touch or kiss as her brain pieced together the magnitude of the moment. It was everything. Juliana’s long fingers, pressed dexterously into her scalp. Juliana’s words, confident and teasing. Juliana’s body, pushing against her own, their hips slowly working in tandem with one another. She wasn’t sure exactly what she’d done to finally elicit this reaction, but she loved Juliana’s response more than she could have predicted, wanting nothing more than to continue pushing her so that Juliana would push her right back.

Valentina loved when teasing Juliana came out to play. It was rare, but her deadpan affect coupled with her wildly expressive eyebrows made Valentina want to push right back, to escalate things between them as much as she could. _Don’t provoke me_ was what she’d said to Juliana months ago, when a day apart had felt like a lifetime, but she didn’t mean it. And they both knew it.

Wasting no more time, as she’d already put Juliana’s body through more than her own could handle given how she’d succumbed to her want on top of Juliana downstairs, she pushed another finger against her, running them up and down her wet center.

Juliana let out a gentle moan that Valentina captured with a long kiss. “Good, baby,” Valentina eased out against Juliana’s mouth as she pushed the tips of her fingers in a little harder, slowly beginning to explore the heat inside of Juliana just begging to break free. She moved her mouth over and began to kiss Juliana’s exposed skin, dotting a bite here and there for good measure as she made her way across Juliana’s neck and down to her clavicle.

“If we’re thanking me for patience, don’t forget that time I waited for you for over an hour to get ready,” Juliana said breathlessly, egging Valentina on although she could already feel Juliana’s thighs tensing against her own.

Valentina played along, the throb in her own center building again as Juliana teased her right back. “You’re so right, mi amor,” she said in an almost sing-songy voice against Juliana’s chest. “And what do you think is a fair reward for that?” she asked between kisses and nips across Juliana’s chest, moving lower every few kisses so that her lips now rested just above the nipple that she yearned to draw into her mouth, to flick with her tongue as she felt Juliana squirm against her.

There was a brief pause before she felt Juliana’s fingers weave into her hair, snaking through and gently massaging her fingertips against Valentina’s scalp as she pulled at the tendrils close to the nape of her neck. “Fuck,” Valentina purred against her chest, immediately losing herself in the sensation. Juliana was perceptive. Maybe too perceptive for her own good, and it was obvious she’d remembered Valentina’s request downstairs. “Baby,” Valentina breathed against her as she struggled to find words. “If you want me to remember anything including what I’m doing right now, you can’t be doing that.” And goddamn if all Valentina’s words made Juliana do was pull slightly harder, wrapping her fingers tighter as she tugged again, Valentina moaning against Juliana’s chest in response. “That’s not fair,” she pushed out.

Juliana’s words came so quickly it’s like they’d been waiting on the tip of her tongue. “Who said anything about fair?” she answered in an unfairly sultry voice, echoing Valentina’s words from downstairs.

The entire night felt like they’d been circling around one another, switching places with such a rapid frequency that Valentina didn’t know which way was up or down anymore. But she loved it, like they were doing a dance. And like most dances, she didn’t know the steps, but she wanted to figure them out with Juliana, to spin around with her into oblivion regardless of who was in the lead.

Valentina’s center throbbed with the teasing, as hot as any touch or kiss as her brain pieced together the magnitude of the moment. It was everything. Juliana’s long fingers, pressed dexterously into her scalp. Juliana’s words, confident and teasing. Juliana’s body, pushing against her own, their hips slowly working in tandem with one another. She wasn’t sure _exactly_ what she’d done to finally elicit this reaction, but she loved Juliana’s response more than she could have predicted, wanting nothing more than to continue pushing her so that Juliana would push her right back.

With every bit of resolve she could manage to cobble together, which wasn’t much considering she felt like she was going to combust as Juliana continued to pull gently at the nape of her neck, she took a deep breath to compose herself. Neither of their heartbeats provided any sense of stability, both erratically working to keep time, a futile attempt given that Valentina barely knew what planet she was on anymore. Earth? Mars? Colliding through the stars as nothing more than atoms held together in a human shell?

Without giving warning, she dragged her fingers down Juliana’s center and slowly pushed the tips inside, the warmth and wetness welcoming her in a way that made her own knees go weak. She dipped her head slightly lower and captured Juliana’s nipple in her mouth, Juliana’s back arching against the sensation as Valentina drew it in deeper.

“Val,” Juliana moaned as her other hand snaked around Valentina’s hip, pulling them closer if that was even possible. 

“Let me take care of you,” Valentina said as she let the nipple go for a moment, her words now echoing Juliana’s from before, the reversal perfectly balanced as Valentina took the lead, holding her fingers in place for a moment and giving Juliana time to adjust.

“Please,” Juliana pushed out as her hands dropped to her sides limply, her voice an octave that Valentina had never heard from her girlfriend before, like all she could focus on was holding her own atom-filled body together, too.

“More?” Valentina asked breathlessly, anxiously waiting for Juliana’s response in the hopes that she could go deeper, to push her fingers as far as Juliana could take. 

“Yes,” Juliana said as she put her head back against the tile of the shower, her fingers still pulling urgently against Valentina’s neck.

Valentina didn’t need to be told twice. She slid her fingers in deeper as Juliana’s body adjusted to her inside, focusing first on moving forward before she curled them into her, Juliana’s body already trembling with the intrusion. “Do you like that?” Valentina asked as she continued to slowly push, her own body responding as Juliana’s enveloped her fingers.

“Yes, but harder,” Juliana said in an uncharacteristically authoritative tone, Valentina living for Juliana expressing her want. For telling her exactly what she needed so that Valentina could make her come so hard she saw the same stars Valentina saw right now. So that they could careen through the galaxy together. She was typically pretty good at intuiting Juliana’s needs based on how she responded, but hearing Juliana verbalize them made Valentina want to come apart at the seams.

“You’re so sexy, mi amor,” Valentina said as she pushed her fingers in deeper, Juliana’s hips beginning to slowly work against her hand, a jagged rhythm emerging. “I hope you know that. So, so sexy,” Valentina said as she pushed against the smallest amount of friction given how wet Juliana was. How ready she was for whatever Valentina could give her.

Juliana didn’t speak, so Valentina pushed in as deeply as her fingers would allow, pausing for a moment to allow Juliana to get used to the pressure. She felt Juliana’s body still, a deep exhale pushing from her body that caused Juliana to clench around Valentina’s fingers. Valentina bit her lip, enjoying the tight sensation as Juliana breathed unevenly into the shower.

They’d been exploring one another these past few months, slowly pushing against boundaries only to recede, working to figure out what each of them wanted and what they wanted from one another. Valentina loved these moments, but she understood that she welcomed change and new things given the juxtaposition to her perfectly planned out life, whereas all Juliana wanted was stability and safety. If Valentina was the boat, Juliana was the anchor. They needed one another, but they had very different goals during the same situations. Valentina had no doubt Juliana wanted to feel good, but she also wanted to feel comfortable, to feel like she was in control instead of floating freely through the sea with no destination in mind.

So they’d moved slowly. But Valentina wanted more. It wasn’t for a second because she was bored with their sex life. If anything, the amazing sex they had made her want to up the ante. If Juliana’s face flushed pink with arousal, she wanted to make it flush crimson. If Juliana let out a breathy moan, she wanted to make it an uncontrollable scream. If Juliana ran her fingers down her back when Valentina pushed their bodies together, she wanted her to do it so hard she left scratches that Valentina would have for a week. She wanted everything. And most importantly, she wanted it with Juliana.

Slowly, she bent her head low again and pulled Juliana’s chest back into her mouth, sucking gently on the taut nipple as she began to move her fingers again. Valentina worked to maintain her focus, Juliana’s fingers still kneading into her neck in a way that made her want to purr and melt her body against Juliana’s. _But this wasn’t about her_ , she reminded herself as she slowly withdrew her fingers a few inches. She waited until she felt Juliana taking another breath before she plunged them back in, pushing swiftly until her knuckles stopped her from going any deeper.

“Fuck,” Juliana exhaled as Valentina continued to fill her. At the same time she curled her fingers upward, she used her thumb to find Juliana’s clit. She began to rub small, focused circles as she moved her fingers, working to keep the same rhythm as Juliana’s body as she began to push into her.

“I love you baby,” Valentina said as she stood up straight again and pressed her body hard into Juliana before capturing her mouth with a kiss. She curled her fingers into Juliana again as she ran her tongue against Juliana’s bottom lip, asking for entry with every ounce of focus she possessed.

Juliana moaned into her mouth as her hips began to jerk, Valentina’s fingers growing more purposeful as she slid them back slightly, only to plunge in even deeper than before which she hadn’t known was a possibility, a moan escaping her own lips at the discovery. When Juliana bit down on her lip hard enough that the skin began to prickle, Valentina couldn’t stop herself as she began to grind against Juliana’s thigh, her body responding to the slight pain in a way she couldn’t control.

Juliana’s hands encircled her waist again as she worked to pull Valentina even closer. Valentina’s stomach dropped low when she considered how Juliana felt right now with her fingers inside of her, and she could feel her getting closer as Juliana began to push against her erratically, her hands moving wildly up and down Valentina’s sides.

Valentina couldn’t think of a single reason they hadn’t had sex in the shower again since their first time together, unable to take her eyes off of Juliana’s wet, writhing body as she brought her closer to the edge. She made a mental note to remember to shower together more often, but with the way tonight was already going, she figured they’d have a lot of new things to add to their repertoire.

God, how was she so lucky? With the practical point of getting in the shower long forgotten, she kissed Juliana deeply again, their tongues colliding as their hips continued to grind against one another, Valentina’s hand between them as she pushed into Juliana hard. Her girlfriend seemed to want as much as she could give, and Valentina felt her forearm begin to burn with exertion as she continued to pump against Juliana’s body, her breathing growing more haphazard with each push into her.

Juliana disengaged their lips as her head dropped down, Valentina’s center coiling tight as Juliana dragged her teeth against her naked shoulder. Valentina longed for Juliana to do that across her entire body, but she responded by moving slightly sideways so that they moulded together like two puzzle pieces, Valentina now pushing into her hard with Juliana pushing hard against the shower wall.

“Val,” Juliana panted as her hips lost their rhythm, as she bit down into Valentina’s shoulder so hard she wondered if Juliana drew blood, not really caring if she did.

“Baby,” Valentina urged as she moved her mouth close to Juliana’s face, her lips bumping gently against her ear with Juliana’s increasingly erratic movements. “I want you to come,” she continued, refocusing her energy on pushing into Juliana with a steady rhythm, pumping in and out as she felt Juliana grow increasingly tighter around her fingers. Valentina couldn’t stop the words as they continued to tumble out, her voice running free with her body’s want. “God, you feel so good. I can’t wait to taste you later.”

She could sense Juliana was close, her breathing uneven, her thigh shaking slightly against Valentina’s, her hand that had slid around to Valentina’s back so that she felt those nail marks she loved so much.

“Fuck,”Juliana exhaled as her walls tightened around Valentina’s fingers, as her whole body stopped mid motion as spasms wracked through her. Valentina didn’t know if she’d ever seen anything more beautiful. Rivaling the most picturesque places she’d ever visited in the world was Juliana Valdes coming apart with Valentina’s fingers inside of her, head tilted back as she finally gave into the feeling. As she finally let go to float through the stars.

Valentina continued to move her hand slowly as Juliana came down, wrapping her arm around her to help hold her up as she rode out the orgasm, her breathing still erratic and choppy. Valentina slid her fingers out slowly, a small moan escaping Juliana’s perfect lips as she withdrew from her completely.

As Valentina held her in the shower, she placed light, sweet kisses on Juliana’s cheeks and nose and everywhere on her face she could reach. “I love you, mi amor,” Valentina said softly as she kept their bodies close together, wanting nothing more than to be the stability Juliana caved into.

“I think you’re trying to kill me,” Juliana said as she brought a hand up to her forehead, the other now at her mouth as she touched her slightly swollen lips.

Valentina’s breath caught in her throat for a moment, concern etched across her face as her arms tightened around Juliana’s body. “But you liked it, right?” she asked tentatively.

“Val,” Juliana breathed out as she dropped her head and snuggled into Valentina’s shoulder so that she couldn’t see her face anymore.

She could feel Juliana smiling against her skin, although she still refused to say anything else. “Is that a yes?” Valentina asked again, emboldened by how embarrassed Juliana seemed right now. “You know,” she said, dragging her finger under Juliana’s chin so that she could look her in the eyes, “I wanted you so badly downstairs that I had to touch myself to relieve the pressure. That I couldn’t stand not finding release with you underneath me.” Juliana’s cheeks flushed the crimson Valentina had been waiting all night to see, her lip drawing gently between her teeth as she tried to suppress a smile. “That’s what you do to me, mi amor. I hope I made you feel even half as good as you made me feel downstairs,” Valentina said with a slight vulnerability laced through her voice.

“Val,” Juliana repeated as they stared at one another, Valentina’s eyes shiny and full as she waited for Juliana to speak again. “God, you don’t even know what you do to me,” Juliana continued as she wound her hands around Valentina’s body, running her fingers lightly up and down her spine.

Valentina practically melted at the touch in tandem with Juliana’s simple words, understanding the emotion they conveyed, especially coming from Juliana. She dropped her head low and pulled Juliana’s bottom lip between her own, savoring the sweet taste for a moment before speaking again. “Maybe I don’t, but I know what _you_ do to _me_ , and I never knew I could want something so much.”

Juliana rolled her eyes slightly at Valentina’s emotional words before a smile bloomed across her face as she pushed her fingers harder into Valentina’s back. So…” Juliana said, pausing for emphasis, her voice playful and sweet, “You’re saying I’m the gift you get for the girl who has everything?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having so much fun.
> 
> Not a lot to say here except that my life is getting busier, so updates might be a bit more infrequent. 
> 
> Thank you for all of your awesome comments and kudos!


	14. Latch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their days together still felt like a fairytale, but the past few months hadn’t been without obstacles. After Valentina had gone on live television, the small bit of privacy they’d managed until that point was upended, and Juliana Valdes, yes, that Juliana Valdes, had to adopt to her new reality as a household name across Mexico.
> 
> She was so incredibly thankful that Valentina was in her life, but as a result, her life was completely different. Sometimes in amazing ways like waking up to Valentina’s naked body pressed against her and finally understanding what it felt like to be so deeply in love with another person in a way she’d never thought she’d have the chance to be. But sometimes in not so amazing ways like paparazzi following them around as they shopped or grabbed lunch or people at design school attempting to befriend her just to get close to Valentina.

“You  _ are _ everything,” Valentina said as she hugged Juliana once more before walking a few steps across the massive shower to turn off the water.

Juliana stood with her back pressed into the wall, her legs weak and wobbly as she worked to come down from her orgasm. She felt both sated and wired, her body still prickling with awareness and want although her muscles felt tired and heavy, the sensations completely at odds with one another. 

A smile tugged at her lips as Valentina returned to her side. “You’re such a hopeless romantic,” Juliana chided as Valentina ran her hand down Juliana’s arm, goosebumps springing in their wake now that the warm stream of water had been turned off.

“I’ll let you tease me all you want, but let’s snuggle up in bed first,” Valentina said as she stepped out of the shower and grabbed two towels resting on a built-in shelf. Like everything in the Valle house, they were plush and perfect, oozing comfort and luxury in a way Juliana didn’t know if she’d ever get used to.

Their days together still felt like a fairytale, but the past few months hadn’t been without obstacles. After Valentina had gone on live television, the small bit of privacy they’d managed until that point was upended, and Juliana Valdes, yes,  _ that Juliana Valdes _ , had to adopt to her new reality as a household name across Mexico.

She was so incredibly thankful that Valentina was in her life, but as a result, her life was completely different. Sometimes in amazing ways like waking up to Valentina’s naked body pressed against her and finally understanding what it felt like to be so deeply in love with another person in a way she’d never thought she’d have the chance to be. But sometimes in not so amazing ways like paparazzi following them around as they shopped or grabbed lunch or people at design school attempting to befriend her just to get close to Valentina.

Juliana hated herself for it, but she’d actually been embarrassed the day Valentina had shown up at her school to surprise her for lunch, the thoughtful gesture turned on its head as her classmates stared at Valentina Carvajal skipping across the courtyard in a dress Juliana had made for her like she didn’t have a care in the world. Anyone going to school for fashion design already knew who Valentina Carvajal was, as if a famous movie star had walked into an acting class. She’d been in enough magazines, and with her heartfelt declaration on television, it didn’t take a lot to piece two and two together as her classmates had stared with their mouths agape. She was embarrassed to admit it, but after that, she’d made excuses for them to meet at other places, for nights out to become nights in.

She’d been struggling with the lack of anonymity, thrust into a world that Valentina had been groomed for since birth, working to simultaneously figure out who she was as a person, who she and Valentina were together, and now, to further complicate the situation, who they were under the microscope of celebrity. 

Valentina never flaunted her wealth or status, but it wasn’t hard to see how drastically different their lives were in the practicality of the day to day once the drama of kidnappings and deaths had calmed down, the fact that Valentina barely noticed a rogue photographer snapping pictures of them or how people stared just a little too hard when they recognized them out and about only exacerbating Juliana’s discomfort with the entire situation. 

Chauffeurs. Prepared meals. Anything in the world was now available at a moment’s notice. Valentina hadn’t been kidding when she’d asked about who would cook because that girl could barely boil a pot of water without burning down whatever kitchen they were in. A lot of these things were exactly why Juliana loved her, but she didn’t love the attention they were currently receiving from the rest of the world.

“What’s wrong?” Valentina asked as she wrapped one of the plush towels around Juliana’s body, the overtly sexual energy from moments ago slowly dissipating with the caring touch.

“What do you mean?” Juliana asked as she scrunched her brows, worried she’d spoken the words tumbling through her thoughts out loud.

“You have that look,” Valentina answered as she wrapped a towel around her own body, tucking in the edges so that her arms were free.

“I don’t have  _ a look _ ,” Juliana said as she pulled her own towel a little tighter, probably giving the exact look Valentina was referring to, unable to stop herself. Her body grew tense with Valentina’s probing words.

Valentina tilted her head to the side like she was trying to work something out. “What’s the word?” she asked, snapping her fingers like she was willing the phrase into her mouth in a way Juliana found annoyingly cute. “Contemplation. That’s it,” she stated with a pleased smile. “You look contemplative. Like you’re working out a really big idea instead of just talking to me about it.” Apparently now that they’d both finally come, their brains had started to slightly function again for something other than toying with one another’s bodies, Juliana disliking where the conversation was headed.

“I don’t do that…” Juliana said as she realized that’s exactly what she was doing. Goddamn Valentina’s perceptiveness, especially when it came to her. “Let’s head to the bed?” Juliana pushed, hoping Valentina would forget all about this conversation once they got there.

As Juliana followed Valentina back into the bedroom, she couldn’t stop the wheels from turning within her mind again, struggling to enjoy this escape together and not think about crashing back into reality on Monday. She hated that she was having trouble adjusting. She hated that she cared what people thought. And mostly, she hated that Valentina would feel poorly if she ever found out, so she’d been struggling to come to terms with these things on her own.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said quietly as she dropped her towel and slipped naked between the sheets. “Cuddle with me.”

Juliana wanted to touch Valentina always, her body much more able to express herself than her words, although neither was even close to Valentina’s level, an effortlessness in her affection that Juliana envied. “Sure,” Juliana answered as she dropped her own towel and slid into the silky sheets.

She felt Valentina’s arms encircle her as soon as her body touched the fabric, pulling her close so that the upper halves of their bodies faced one another as they rested on the pillows. “Do you want some fruit?” Valentina asked as she turned slightly away to grab the small tray resting on the night table.

“Sure,” Juliana repeated again, a small bubble of nervousness building in her throat that she worked to suppress.

Valentina placed the small container of assorted fruits between them and plucked a grape from the pile, popping it into her mouth. “So, do you want to tell me what you were thinking about in the bathroom?” Valentina asked with a nonchalance that only put Juliana’s body on edge, the bubble inside her body expanding with the words.

Juliana stared into sharp eyes, wondering how far she could skirt around this conversation. “Nothing, really…” she said as she picked up a piece of fruit and popped it in her mouth, buying a few extra seconds with her unnecessarily thoughtful chewing. “I’m just really enjoying our time together.”  _ Away from everyone else _ , she added to herself but didn’t dare speak out loud.

Valentina’s eyes softened as she continued to watch Juliana closely, like she wanted to believe her girlfriend’s words but didn’t. “Can I tell you something?” Valentina asked as she fidgeted slightly in the oversized bed.

Juliana’s stomach dropped low as her heart began to race, worried beyond belief at Valentina’s unspoken words. She took a deep breath to calm herself, hoping her own words came out evenly. “Yes. Always,” she said, reaching her hand out to give Valentina’s a squeeze.

“I’ve just…” Valentina paused, Juliana finally understanding what she’d meant about a ‘contemplative look’ as she watched emotion dance across Valentina’s beautiful face. “I’ve never done this the right way before.” Valentina let out a small laugh, her fingers fidgeting against the smooth sheets as she stared down at them. “To be honest, I’ve never  _ wanted _ to do this the right way before. But…” she continued, “I want you to be able to talk to me. I don’t want you to worry about upsetting me or that we’ll fight. Maybe we will have a fight at some point, but we’ll just get to have amazing makeup sex after, right?” Valentina bit her lip gently and looked at Juliana again after she finished speaking, eyes glassy as Juliana stared at the most perfect human she’d ever seen, wrapped in nothing but silk sheets as she poured her heart out to her like it was Juliana’s to have.

God, she was being such an idiot. She wasn’t alone anymore. Decisions weren’t hers to make independently. This was what couples did. They helped one another and supported one another. Juliana wanted to crumple under the idea that she’d hurt Valentina by shutting her out. That she’d made her unnecessarily worry that Juliana’s resistance was somehow her fault instead of Juliana’s own fucked up perception of relationships.

“Val,” Juliana whined as she brought her hand up to cup Valentina’s jaw, running the pad of her thumb along the smooth expanse of skin. “I love you. You don’t doubt that right?” She couldn’t stop the frown that cracked across her face as she stared at Valentina’s sad eyes, physical pain slipping through Juliana’s body like poison with the idea that she’d hurt Valentina.

“I know you love me. I just wish you’d talk to me. That you’d let me be there for you, mi amor,” Valentina said, her voice laced with melancholy before she let out a half-hearted laugh and moved to wipe her eye. “But I don’t want you to be anything you aren’t. I know we’re just different in some ways. It’s just…” Valentina bit her lip again as she considered her words, Juliana hanging onto every syllable as she waited with baited breath. “You’re my person. I know I can’t be easy to deal with all the time, and I’m so thankful for every moment you’re in my life. I just want to be that for you, too…”

“Val,” Juliana said quickly, scooting her body slightly closer. She picked up the fruit between them and threw it unceremoniously on the night table behind her before turning back to Valentina. “You’re my person, too. I don’t want you to think for one second you’re not. God,” Juliana continued with a groan as she tilted her head back, “If you only knew how much of my day I spend thinking about you…” Her face split into a small smile as she ran her fingers along Valentina’s knuckles, willing some of the tension to leave Valentina’s body with the soothing gesture.

“I hate feeling needy,” Valentina said in a voice that was almost a whisper, Juliana’s heart cracking open at the earnest words.

“No, no, no,” Juliana repeated as she willed her voice to stay calm. “You’re not needy. You’re brave. It’s hard to ask for what you want and need. The fact that you’re so open and honest is one of the things I love most about you. I don’t ever want you to feel badly about that. It’s just hard for me to talk about myself. To talk about anything really. I didn’t grow up in a house where we talked about things. We yelled. Or we sulked.” Juliana paused as she bit her lip, working to find the right words. Words she’d never used but that she knew she needed to learn if she was ever going to be able to keep up with someone like Valentina.

Valentina lifted her hand up to Juliana’s face, running her finger gently across her cheek before settling it on her lip. “But you have such a cute sulking face, so it’s not all bad,” she smiled, leaning forward and placing a light kiss on Juliana’s lips.

Juliana felt the melting sensation again, like the world was dissolving around them with only this moment between them and nothing else. “Sometimes, I can’t believe this is real,” Juliana pushed out, her hand still placed on top of Valentina’s tightening around her knuckles.

“Why not?” Valentina asked, her voice imbued with curiosity more than anything as she pushed herself up a bit more on her arm, now half-sitting up, her attention fully focused on Juliana.

Juliana rolled her eyes as she fought back a smile, Valentina’s obliviousness both endearing and infuriating. “Because you’re you…”

“Who else would I be?” Valentina asked like it was the cryptic answer to a riddle, a simple laugh pushing through her parted lips that made Juliana’s heart constrict.

Juliana lifted an eyebrow and bit back her own laugh. “You really want me to say it?”

“If you mean do I want to know what you’re thinking, then yes,” Valentina said with a resolute head nod. She slipped her hand out from under Juliana’s and moved closer, snuggling up against her so that her head was tucked against Juliana’s chest, just like all those months ago the morning after their first time. 

Juliana felt the tickle of Valentina’s hair against her body as she continued to squirm closer. “What are you doing, Val?” Juliana asked as her arms wrapped reflexively around Valentina’s body before she’d even thought about it, like it was where they were always meant to be.

Valentina had squirmed impossibly close before she spoke again. “I’m helping you.”

“How is this helping me?” Juliana asked as she stared at the top of Valentina’s head.

“I’m not looking at you  _ like that _ ,” Valentina said with a slight laugh. “You can just pretend like you’re talking to a stuffed animal.”

“And let me guess, you’re the stuffed animal?” Juliana exhaled against Valentina’s head, her arms fidgeting slightly at Valentina’s proposal.

“You’re already cuddling me like one,” Valentina said as she snuggled in closer.

“Val,” Juliana said with an eye roll that couldn’t be seen.

Valentina laughed. “I know you’re rolling your eyes, mi amor.”

Juliana still felt so emotionally naked, even with Valentina’s penetrating stare trained on the bed instead of her, Valentina’s hands running up and down Juliana’s arms in a gentle back and forth motion. This reminded Juliana of the morning after their first time together, when Valentina had begged Juliana to stay with her, when she’d put her feelings out in the open and had let her vulnerability shine through. Juliana took a deep breath, willing herself to be brave. “You’re intimidating,” Juliana breathed out, working to keep her voice calm.

Valentina let out a light, sweet laugh that Juliana felt in her bones, the surprise evident in her tone. “I’m laying naked in your arms pretending to be a stuffed animal, but I would love to hear more about this…”

“Val,” Juliana whined again. “The fact that you’re so comfortable makes you even more intimidating.” She paused to collect her thoughts. Valentina stayed quiet, her even breathing like a metronome, Juliana’s heartbeat working to fall in sync. But she pushed forward. “You’re Valentina Carvajal. You’re an heiress. A model. You went on national television to defend our love. Do you realize how ridiculous I feel when I say that out loud?” The words fell heavy in the room, Juliana waiting for Valentina to break the silence.

Valentina didn’t look up, but she snaked her hand down and laced her fingers between Juliana’s before speaking. “And you’re Juliana Valdes.  _ You _ , mi amor, are the bravest, toughest, most loyal person I know. When you saw me that day in the park, you took time out to make sure I was okay, even with all of the stuff going on in your life.”

“Val-” Juliana tried to interrupt.

“Let me finish baby,” Valentina said, cutting her off and squeezing her hand. “No one has ever been that selflessly kind to me. You didn’t help me because I was Valentina Carvajal. You helped me because I was a girl crying on a park bench. I’ll never forget that. It changed my life.  _ You  _ changed my life. If anything, I don’t feel like  _ I _ deserve  _ you _ . You’ve worked for everything you’ve ever gotten. I was born into this world, but I didn’t do anything to deserve it more than anyone else.”

“You’re amazing, Val,” Juliana said quickly, trying to process what Valentina was saying, the implication in her words. “And to be fair, you were a very pretty girl sitting on the park bench, so maybe my motives weren’t entirely pure, even if I didn’t know it at the time.”

Those words earned a laugh from Valentina, her body shaking slightly against Juliana’s chest. Her body stilled, and she felt Valentina take a deep breath. “I thought you were the prettiest thing I’d ever seen. I was so enchanted by you. I didn’t understand it, but all I wanted was to be closer to you. When I thought you were leaving that park bench, every other thing I was sad about disappeared in that instant, and all I could think about was how to keep you talking. To keep you there with me for as long as possible.”

Juliana’s heart swelled in a way she didn’t know was possible, Valentina’s words seeping into every cell of her body and infusing her with a happiness she didn’t know she could feel. They hadn’t ever talked about when they’d really known things were different between them, when they’d finally understood that this wasn’t just the bond of two girls looking for a friend in a time of need, and for once in her life, she was surprisingly motivated to continue the conversation. That Valentina had felt something, even from the start. Before something was anything. “Even when I tried to rob you?” Juliana said with a laugh, her lips pushing the question out, something she never thought she’d be brave enough to do.

“It got you a hug, didn’t it?” Even though she couldn’t see her, she just knew Valentina was smirking.

Juliana slipped her hand under Valentina’s chin and ran her finger under it to get her attention. When Valentina looked up, she stared into the sweetest, bluest eyes, a wave of warmth rolling through her body. “And many more after that,” she said with a gentle laugh, working to temper the butterflies in her stomach.

“And who could have known the best was yet to come,” Valentina stated simply, the weight of her words grounding Juliana to the moment in the best way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm realizing that this is starting to become like a romance novel (which is what I typically write) which means that some chapters won't have sex. But I think that sex is better with feelings, and a big part of this fic is exploring how they get to that point two years later where they're both happy, confident, and on top of the world. 
> 
> Just think of it as emotional foreplay and hopefully, you're enjoying my takes on how they're growing as individuals and as a couple. 
> 
> But never fear! There will be more sex! I just think they had to continue working through some baggage to really get to the earth shattering stuff we all know will end up happening between them. :)


	15. 2 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She felt a prickle against her skin, awareness flooding through her body. She opened her eye a little wider as fingers stroked up and down her naked abdomen, small flutters of want zigging through her body with the light, focused touches.
> 
> “Juls,” Valentina said sleepily, her mind still tired although she couldn’t stop the reaction beginning to tug deep within her. She reached out her hand and began to absently stroke her fingers up and down Juliana’s exposed arm, never needing an excuse to want to touch her. “Are you okay, mi amor?” she asked as she worked to orient herself to the present space and time, the last wisps of her dream filtering into the ether.

Valentina stirred, the room enveloped in darkness as she worked to adjust. She squinted a single, bleary eye open and tried to understand what was going on. They must have fallen asleep, her limbs tired and heavy as her body melted into the plush bed underneath her. She tried to figure out why she’d woken up, surprising given their escapades earlier and her general exhaustion from the week. 

While Juliana was a light sleeper, no doubt from her years of insecure living situations which Valentina absolutely hated even thinking about, Valentina had always slept like the dead, Juliana rousing her to life most mornings they spent together when it was time to wake up.

She felt a prickle against her skin, awareness flooding through her body. She opened her eye a little wider as fingers stroked up and down her naked abdomen, small flutters of want zigging through her body with the light, focused touches.

“Juls,” Valentina said sleepily, her mind still tired although she couldn’t stop the reaction beginning to tug deep within her. She reached out her hand and began to absently stroke her fingers up and down Juliana’s exposed arm, never needing an excuse to want to touch her. “Are you okay, mi amor?” she asked as she worked to orient herself to the present space and time, the last wisps of her dream filtering into the ether.

They hadn’t talked much more after Juliana had confessed her feelings of intimidation, the weight of the moment tempered as Juliana had held her until they’d both fallen asleep, bodies wrapped up in one another against the cool silk of the bed. At least she’d fallen asleep, she realized as she stared into Juliana’s deep brown eyes, wide and unblinking.

“Yes…” Juliana answered quietly as she pushed her fingers slightly harder into Valentina’s abs, still making a haphazard trail across exposed skin that began to set Valentina’s body alight, although she still had no idea what had prompted this happy wake up call.

Valentina drew her lip into her mouth, biting down gently as she worked to suppress a smile. Maybe it had been their conversation earlier or maybe the black of night had made Juliana more confident, but now, under the cover of darkness, she continued to touch Valentina stomach, her fingers moving purposefully. “Juls,” Valentina said again as a smile bloomed across her face, any trace of sleepiness gone. “Is there anything I can do for you, mi amor?” She slipped her arm under the covers and began to run her hand across Juliana’s hip, already lost in the sensation of soft skin as it yielded against her fingertips.

“I was thinking more about what I could do for you,” Juliana said into the darkened room, her hand moving lower than it had on its previous travels before stopping short of where she wanted Juliana’s fingers most, Valentina groaning at the denial.

“With you touching me like that, I feel like I could run a marathon,” Valentina breathed out, hoping Juliana would move her hand just a few inches lower.

“I love you,” Juliana said as she closed the space between them and placed a tender kiss on Valentina’s lips that began to warm her from the inside out.

Valentina smiled into the kiss, unable to stop herself from deepening it. She ran her tongue across Juliana’s bottom lip, soft and welcoming like the rest of her body, no resistance to be found as her lips parted immediately. A moan escaped Valentina as Juliana pushed slightly forward, their bodies now connected at the hips. In only seconds, she went from sleepy to desperate, Juliana’s touch causing a gnawing ache to begin building low in her center, the awareness consuming her as if she’d never sleep again.

Valentina broke the kiss and stared across the small space, trying to see Juliana’s face better in spite of the darkness. “I love you, too,” she finally answered once she remembered to think, her eyes wandering across any small feature she could see, her ears working to pick up any audible sound. 

She considered for a moment this must have been how Juliana had felt when blindfolded, her other senses acutely aware. The curve of Juliana’s cheek, slightly visible, sharp as a knife against the sliver of the moon that shone through the curtain. Her breathing, a cadence that only made Valentina’s own heart skip a few beats once she recognized its uneven tempo. Her skin, Valentina’s fingers gently thrumming against Juliana’s hip, like the softest velvet she’d ever touched.

Apparently, the time for wordy, emotional vulnerability was over, Juliana choosing to express her feelings with progressively emboldened touches. The sheet covering their bodies slipped down as Juliana’s hands continued to wander, her chest exposed as her fingers roamed across Valentina’s newly visible torso. The line Juliana had been tracing had morphed into lazy, yet calculated, circles, like there was no rhyme or reason although Valentina’s body was acutely aware of an underlying intent, a method to Juliana’s madness.

“Baby,” Valentina groaned as Juliana’s fingers continued to wander, “That feels so good.”

“That’s the point,” Juliana responded huskily, the tone of her words causing Valentina’s stomach to twist into a heated knot.

“Yeah?” Valentina asked as she rolled against Juliana, surprised at the turn her night was taking but already on board for the ride.

The rest of Juliana’s body stilled, although she started to run her purposed finger from Valentina’s breastbone down to her navel and back again, tauntingly close although still too far away to temper Valentina’s growing want. “So...I looked in the box…” 

Valentina’s eyes popped open wide for the first time since waking up as she registered the words, immediately working to sense Juliana’s feelings from her almost invisible facial features. It was difficult to suss out if Juliana’s eyebrow raise was anger or amusement. Whether the slight unevenness settled across her lips was an annoyed smirk or an intrigued grin.

Valentina inhaled deeply as she moved her hand over to Juliana’s chest, rubbing lightly against her sternum. “And…” she asked with baited breath, her stomach tight from both fear and lust in a way that was almost dizzying.

Juliana didn’t speak for a few seconds, continuing to run her fingers up and down, up and down, so agonizingly slowly that Valentina thought she might combust. The line between teasing and torture was growing blurrier with each passing sweep of Juliana’s fingers. “Well, you said you weren’t intimidating, so I took a gamble that your wrath couldn’t be all that bad,” Juliana said with a light laugh, although slightly higher than her normal timbre.

“Wait.” Valentina sat up slightly, albeit quickly. “Were you worried I’d be upset?” She shook her head back and forth to get her bearings, like she’d woken up to a fire alarm instead of Juliana’s gentle touch.

“I hate keeping secrets, especially from you,” Juliana answered with contrition, although Valentina still didn’t understand where things stood now that they both knew what was in the box.

“Babe,” Valentina said breathlessly as her face split into a small smile. How could Juliana ever think that? ”How long did you manage to keep this to yourself?” Valentina asked as she pressed her hand flush against Juliana’s chest, her fingers thrumming against Juliana’s sternum in time with the erratic tempo.

Juliana let out a soft groan and rolled slightly on her back, Valentina immediately missing the contact. “About fifteen minutes,” Juliana answered as she threw her hand over her face.

Valentina couldn’t stop the laugh that rolled out, echoing through the silent room with the exception of Juliana’s breathing. With Juliana now on her back, Valentina rolled slightly over and onto her side, dragging her fingers across Juliana’s toned torso as had been done to her. “And?” Valentina asked as she pulled her lower lip into her mouth, wondering desperately what her girlfriend thought.

Valentina had always been indulgent, and she saw no reason to not explore something she was curious about, especially with the person she loved. And she’d never been in love before, unable to stop her fantasies from day to day as she thought about Juliana almost every moment they weren’t together. And every moment they were together. So basically, she thought about Juliana all the time which had led her mind down paths that made her squirm in her chair in class and blush in public with the force of her fantasies as they came to life.

Moments passed as Valentina began to grow nervous, wishing more than anything she could see Juliana’s face, to understand what she was thinking. Even after months, Juliana could still be difficult to read. Their lives had been ruled by external forces for so long that feeling like they were masters of their own destinies was confusing, overwhelming, but, if she was being honest, downright exhilarating.

After what felt like a lifetime, Juliana finally spoke, her voice like the silk currently enveloping their bodies. “I didn’t think I’d be so into it, but the more I thought about it…”

“For fifteen whole minutes,” Valentina accidentally spit out, covering her hands with her mouth as her eyes went wide.

Juliana let out a husky laugh as her hand stopped directly below Valentina’s belly button. “Well, I mean, that’s as long as it took me to think about it and decide I wanted to do it,” she said simply, almost with a hint of pride, before quirking her head to the side and pausing. “Wait. That’s not exactly right. I spent about ten minutes thinking about it and the last five were me wondering if it was okay to wake you up to have sex.”’

Valentina’s pulse began to beat erratically. “You want to use it right now?” she asked, more nervous than she’d anticipated considering she’d been thinking about this idea for the past few weeks.

“No, Val,” Juliana chided, although her voice was slightly uneven and breathless. “Tomorrow. I woke you up now because the idea of thinking about you thinking about us like that made me…” Juliana burrowed the side of her face into the pillow without finishing her sentence. 

Valentina saw her opportunity, rolling her body over in a quick motion so that she straddled Juliana, like they’d been downstairs although now Juliana laid flat on the bed. She really wasn’t doing her thighs any favors tonight, but she couldn’t seem to stay away from her. “Made you what?” she asked as she trailed her hands down Juliana’s arms before effectively pinning her wrists at her sides.

“Val,” Juliana whined, like she’d already done a million times tonight. At this point, if Juliana meant the phrase as a deterrent, she was sorely mistaken on the impact it had on Valentina. She’d already told her, but she really did love when Juliana said her name. Whether imbued with annoyance or brimming with surprised glee, she absolutely adored the way the syllable rolled off her girlfriend’s tongue.

“Juls,” Valentina responded as she ground her hips down.

“Fuck,” Juliana pushed out. Valentina felt her squirming below her, the friction causing a delicious heat to coarse through her body. “I want to use my hands.” Valentina removed her own hands so quickly she almost lost her balance, earning her a hearty laugh from Juliana.

Valentina dropped lower, spreading her thighs wide against Juliana’s pelvis as her forearm came down to rest on the bed. She captured Juliana’s lips in a heated kiss, her taut nipples already sensitive as they brushed against Juliana’s with the movement. She dragged her lips away for a moment before she forgot. “And just so you know,” she said as she nuzzled her nose against Juliana’s, “You have permission to wake me for sex anytime.”

Juliana’s hands came up to wrap around Valentina’s waist, her dexterous fingers pushing into her skin so precisely it was like she could feel the touch inside her body. Juliana’s fingers lingered for a moment longer before a hand snaked around her front. She cupped Valentina’s breast, Valentina exhaling as she felt Juliana slowly roll the bud of her nipple between her fingers.

Even in non-sexual situations, Valentina’s want was always there, simmering just below the surface, ready to boil over if only a little heat was added, the slightest change in the delicate balance that kept her from melting, burning, combusting with a single touch.

Juliana’s free arm wrapped around Valentina’s back, her nails gently scratching down her spine as Valentina arched into the touch, the flame burning brighter, hotter, stronger. “Move up here,” Juliana said resolutely. She dipped her hand to the swell where Valentina’s ass and the back of her thighs connected, pulling Valentina’s body toward her, up across Juliana’s torso. 

Valentina was confused for a moment, but as awareness dawned as to where Juliana was leading her, to what would happen next, Valentina’s stomach coiled so tight she thought she might snap, heated flames licking across her body as she hoped Juliana would be doing soon, too. 

Valentina’s roaming body reached Juliana’s chin, her hand finding the cool comfort of the wall, bracing herself for impact. And with no preamble, no more words, Juliana slipped her tongue from between her perfectly parted lips and and made a broad stroke against Valentina’s center, her legs buckling with the hot, wet touch against her. 

Juliana had decided to add kerosene to the fire in the darkness of the night, and all Valentina wanted to do was burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it to night, so that's pretty cool.... Sorry not sorry about alluding to the box, but I think it's more fun if they both know. Plus, Juls taking charge and being curious is kinda hot :)
> 
> This came up in another comment, but it's pretty obvious that sex + feels + fluff = my holy trinity of fanfic.
> 
> Just a heads up, I might update some chapter titles/Spotify songs that I think better fit the scenes. Just don't want anyone to be confused.
> 
> Love everyone's comments. I respond to each and every single one, so feel free to shoot me a message! <3


	16. Gemini

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One moment she was sweet and innocent, looking at Juliana with a face that made her want to wrap her in her arms and hold her forever. Then, Juliana had looked in the box, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what Valentina must have been thinking as she’d made the purchase. Her stomach had dropped low, tight, hot heat coiling in her center that licked like flames across her skin and through her veins.
> 
> She hadn’t planned to look inside, but as Valentina’s breath had evened out in Juliana’s arms, her body loose, a sure sign she’d finally fallen asleep, her curiosity had started to get the best of her. Valentina loved surprises, but she wasn’t secretive. Valentina was also horrible at keeping secrets for surprises, and the longer she’d considered it, there must be something really interesting in the box for Valentina to maintain her composure.

Valentina Carvajal. Giver of orgasms. Imitator of stuffed animals. Buyer of sex toys. She was so incredibly multidimensional that Juliana didn’t know if she’d ever feel like she had Val figured out.

One moment she was sweet and innocent, looking at Juliana with a face that made her want to wrap her in her arms and hold her forever. Then, Juliana had looked in the box, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what Valentina must have been thinking as she’d made the purchase. Her stomach had dropped low, tight, hot heat coiling in her center that licked like flames across her skin and through her veins.

She hadn’t planned to look inside, but as Valentina’s breath had evened out in Juliana’s arms, her body loose, a sure sign she’d finally fallen asleep, her curiosity had started to get the best of her. Valentina loved surprises, but she wasn’t secretive. Valentina was also horrible at keeping secrets for surprises, and the longer she’d considered it, there must be something really interesting in the box for Valentina to maintain her composure.

When she’d looked down, Valentina had been sleeping like an innocent angel, her face relaxed, a light dusting of freckles barely visible across her nose. Her lips parted slightly, maybe the first even exhales either of them had breathed all night. 

Juliana couldn’t stand it. Tonight had pushed things, mostly to a place she never thought she’d get. A place where she’d asked for what she wanted and was brave enough to vocalize her feelings.

And if the small seed of pride that bloomed within her own body at that discovery wasn’t enough to further encourage her, she knew that Valentina liked it. Liked when Juliana used her words and her hands and let Valentina in. Juliana still got butterflies in her stomach when Valentina smiled at her. Her breath still caught in her throat when Valentina unexpectedly touched her.  

And Juliana couldn’t help but wonder if that some weird kink or something? The want to please her. Really, it didn’t matter if it had another name because her kink was called Valentina Carvajal. Simple as that.

Or was it just love? She’d been having a horrible time before, but now, even the slightly bad things like a lack of privacy and working to keep up with Valentina didn’t hold a candle to the fire that warmed her from the inside out whenever she thought about her.

She generally never had to wonder what Valentina was thinking, but now, as she slid her tongue across Valentina’s wet center, she desperately wanted to understand how Valentina had gotten to this point, what she’d been thinking about the past few weeks that had led her, and Juliana by proxy, to a weekend that had already made Juliana blush and writhe and come undone only to melt back together to come undone again like an infinite loop of desire that never abated.

Valentina moaned, her body moving forward slightly as her hand pushed harder into the wall above Juliana’s head. As she looked up, she could see the tendons in Valentina’s arm ripple with the force of the pressure, working to hold her body in place and anchor herself as Juliana’s tongue worked to cast her adrift.

“Juls,” Valentina moaned from above her, her body dropping lower so that Juliana could reach deeper, lick harder. Juliana felt pressure building in her own center, wetness coating her chin as she licked a broad stroke from Valentina’s entrance up to her clit. It was hot and wet and all Juliana could do was dig her fingers harder into Valentina’s ass to find her own sense of stability, the way Valentina’s hips pushed into her causing a friction that made her want to fall into oblivion.

Juliana moaned, the sound reverberating against Valentina’s center, her hips buckling in response. And suddenly, Juliana stopped. She left her tongue flush against Valentina for a moment before she stilled against her. “Tell me about the box,” Juliana said as she gave a gentle lick, only the slightest amount of pressure against Valentina’s taut body.

“What do you want to know?” Valentina said exasperatedly as she ground her hips down, working to build the friction again, seeking the resistance of Juliana’s tongue but only meeting cold air. Apparently, her girlfriend wasn’t built to withstand her want, Juliana never before considering how easy getting information from Valentina truly was but liking the idea immensely.

“How long have you had it?” Juliana asked slowly, knowing the number of questions was tempered not only by how long Valentina lasted, but how long she could last, too.

The clouds had started to clear, more of Valentina visible in the darkness of night, her chest and part of her face illuminated against the brightness of the moon. She looked like an ethereal goddess, head tilted back, eyes almost shut. “Baby,” Valentina pushed out as she brought her other hand down to Juliana’s shoulder, pressing her into the bed in a way Juliana absolutely loved.

Juliana smirked before she pushed out words that she knew Valentina would recognize immediately. “And if you haven’t noticed yet, you get rewarded for good answers,” she said as she pressed her tongue flush against Valentina’s center and gave another long, broad lick.

“Baby,” Valentina said again like it was the only word she knew, her hips working to find a rhythm with Juliana’s tongue that she refused to provide. She’d never wanted to play games before, but with the stability of Valentina’s love and constant affection, drawing things out had started to become fun instead of frightening, no longer worried that they’d be interrupted or something would come in and upset their tenuous grip on the world. 

What excited her most was the ability to make Valentina come harder. For her to want Juliana more. To coax every single ounce of desire from Valentina’s body until she collapsed on top of Juliana in a sweaty, heaving mess. Until Valentina, she hadn’t known that’s what she wanted. Hadn’t known it was even a thing  _ to want _ . And now, it was all she could think about, especially after Valentina fell asleep and she laid staring at the ceiling, her mind running in progressively more fantastical circles until her center throbbed from her unanswered questions, no end to the pressure in sight.

“I picked up the package at the post office today,” Valentina said, pushed out quickly like a single word instead of a phrase, her hips already spreading wider as she worked to find Juliana’s lips and tongue again. Apparently, Valentina had no patience either, the idea of her coming over to the Valle house immediately after getting the package sending a rush of desire coursing through Juliana.

The answer caused a tug of want to overlay on top of the dull ache in Juliana’s body, but she pressed on, focusing on the woman on top of her. She started at Valentina’s center, her tongue curling slightly as she stroked up to her clit, wrapping her lips around the sensitive bud for the briefest moment before stopping. She hadn’t appreciated how difficult teasing could be on this side of things, wanting nothing more than to wrap her tongue around Valentina and lick into her until she came apart.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said with a desperation that Juliana felt throughout her entire body, the words lilted and ragged.

She kneaded her fingers into Valentina’s ass a little harder, Valentina’s body clenched and perfectly still for a moment like a statue. Juliana had no doubt the way Valentina looked right now could rival any piece of art in any museum around the world, still slightly dazed that she was lucky enough to see her this way, to touch her and make her come apart. “And how did you land on this idea?” Juliana asked curiously, her breath mingled with Valentina’s hot heat, her lips millimeters away from where she knew Valentina wanted her most as she asked the question.

“I like your rhythm,” Valentina said with a shaky breath. “I like how methodically your hips move against me. I like how it feels like you could go on forever. You make love like you dance, and it’s the sexiest thing in the world.” With Valentina’s words, Juliana’s pelvis spasmed, unable to stop the slightly jerky movement as the thought about Valentina thinking about her body, turned on beyond belief at she considered it. “Please, mi amor,” Valentina begged, so ragged with want that she couldn’t contain the whine in her voice, couldn’t stop her own hips from pushing down toward Juliana’s mouth, seeking her desperately.

“That’s a really good answer,” Juliana said honestly before she pushed her face closer and wrapped her lips around Valentina’s clit, gently sucking it into her mouth as she lathed her tongue upward with the same motion.

Valentina pushed her hand into Juliana’s shoulder again, so hard she thought they both might disappear into the mattress for a moment, Valentina writhing against Juliana’s face as she worked to maintain the rhythm of her tongue. She was done for the moment with making Valentina beg, unable to stop herself from increasing the pressure, continuing to lick and suck as Valentina’s hips jerked against her with an uneven cadence.

The moment changed as Valentina’s hand pushed back from the wall, her center moving slightly backward as Juliana strained her neck in an unnatural angle to continue licking, unable to stop herself, willing to do anything to keep causing the sounds rolling out of Valentina’s mouth and the feeling of wetness and heat against her chin. 

And just like that, she flipped from feeling in control of the moment to shattering into pieces as Valentina’s hand came down behind her and pushed against Juliana’s center, Valentina’s body now slightly contorted as she ran a finger against Juliana’s entrance. “Juls,” Valentina pushed out as her finger moved against her, sliding quickly through her own wetness as she dipped into her with two fingers, Juliana already ready for whatever Valentina would give her. “God, if I’d have known what I know now when we danced together in the park that first time...” Valentina let the words hang heavy between them, not meant to tease, an honesty in her inflection that made Juliana’s heart constrict.

Valentina’s words, coupled with her long fingers exploring Juliana, already close to orgasm, made it difficult for her to focus on anything. Valentina on top of her like this was also a new experience, and she was having sensory overload as they worked against one another, the feeling of Valentina inside of her as her tongue dipped inside Valentina almost too much to bear. 

She brought her hands around to Valentina’s hips, pushing hard into the soft skin as she held her in place and began to make deep, practiced strokes against Valentina with her tongue, working to get her to orgasm before Juliana lost all sense of space and time and focus given what Valentina’s fingers were doing to her.

“Baby,” Valentina moaned into the room, maybe louder than Juliana had ever heard her before, her hips bucking frantically against Juliana’s mouth, her hand still pushing into Juliana’s shoulder so hard she knew there’s be a bruise there tomorrow. 

But she didn’t care. Honestly, she fucking loved it. She loved what she was doing to Valentina, that she couldn’t control herself as her hips rutted against Juliana’s face, that their emotions were so heightened that pleasure and pain were blurring in the most deeply gratifying way she’d ever experienced.  

With one hand still on Juliana’s hip, she moved the other one around to Valentina’s back, dragging her nails down Valentina’s smooth skin. Valentina moaned again in response, her hips jerking, the sensations encouraging her to push her fingers deeper into Juliana. As she did, Valentina curled her fingers upward, hitting just the right spot, the wave that had been slowly growing larger across the horizon finally breaking. Juliana’s abdomen clenched hard as she continued to lick against Valentina’s clit, wanting to make her feel as good as she did in this moment, wanting to feel her crash down above her.

“Mi amor, mi amor, mi amor,” Valentina moaned into the darkened room until Juliana felt her tense, Valentina’s thighs clenching around her ears, her body trembling with exertion as she broke. But Juliana kept licking as she rode out her own orgasm, kept her tongue hot and greedy against Valentina’s center as both of their hips continued to roll, Juliana wondering if it was possible to enjoy anything more. The taste of Valentina. The heat from her body. The sounds she made as she came so hard Juliana wondered if her legs would give out and she’d fall into Juliana.

Valentina’s hips finally stopped jerking against Juliana’s mouth, her chin soaked in a way she’d never thought possible but couldn’t get enough of for as long as she lived. Valentina slid her fingers out of Juliana, twisting her body from its previous position. She moved backwards before falling against Juliana in a tangle of limbs and heat that she loved. 

Valentina kissed her so hard she thought she might bruise her lips, the taste of Valentina still on her tongue as she licked into Juliana’s mouth, grinding her hips against Juliana’s now that they were flush again.

“Val,” Juliana said as their wet centers slid against one another, Valentina’s body heavy against hers, Juliana unsure if she could make it another round.

“I can’t help it,” Valentina answered like she knew exactly what Juliana saying her name with that inflection implied. She moved her lips across Juliana’s cheek and then her neck and then down to her collarbone, licking and kissing with no signs of slowing down. “You’re just so sexy. And now I can’t stop thinking about you dancing,” Valentina pouted as she lifted her face to stare into Juliana’s eyes.

Juliana felt the same flutter in her stomach and tightness in her heart that she’d felt so many times before, still shocked at the weight of her emotions when Valentina looked at her. At how she’d never felt so comfortable with another human being, how Valentina so expertly tore down her walls with her consistent caring and thoughtfulness and patience.

Juliana ran her fingers lightly down Valentina’s back, her movements slowing into a languid rhythm against Juliana’s body. “I’m only calming down because we have all weekend,” Valentina said with a slight laugh, clearly pleased with her restraint.

“Val...” Juliana rolled her eyes as Valentina settled next to her, their legs and arms still intertwined.

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you,” Valentina said matter-of-factly, the flutter in Juliana’s stomach intensifying.

God, she loved Valentina. She loved her so much she could barely breathe sometimes with the weight of it. “I love you,” she said as she squeezed Valentina gently and kissed the top of her head. 

“I love you, too,” Valentina sing-songed as she cuddled into her, asleep against Juliana within minutes. 

Juliana drifted off minutes later, her brow relaxed and her limbs loose as the night pushed forward, blissfully oblivious to the darkness as she finally slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that's still on this ride with me! Still alive? I am, barely... 
> 
> *Technically,* we made it to Saturday since it's after midnight in their world.
> 
> Huge shout out for all of your wonderful comments and support. It really is what helps me get the updates out faster! 
> 
> Tracklist for chapter titles: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R


	17. Tell Me You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I had fun last night,” Valentina admitted tentatively as she wrapped a hand around Juliana’s waist, working to keep the touch light when all she really wanted to do was lift Juliana’s shirt up past her hips and dance her fingers across every expanse of skin she could find.
> 
> “I did, too…” Juliana looked down to Valentina’s lips as she spoke, a small thrill shooting through Valentina’s body at the gesture.
> 
> “Then why are you sending me away, mi amor?” Valentina asked in a slightly teasing voice, more confident than a moment ago although still not completely comforted by Juliana’s words.

Valentina rolled over and she stretched her arms out wide, her muscles exhausted and sore from last night. An exhaustion and soreness that she couldn’t be happier about given what they’d done, but there was an awareness prickling through her thighs and calves that caused her to tentatively flex and stretch, working to ease the tension from her muscles.

As she finally opened her eyes, she noticed the emptiness of the large bed, Juliana no longer next to her. She was probably already doing something productive, sketching new designs or sitting with a cup of coffee on the veranda out by the pool. Valentina missed her already, sliding out of bed and crossing the room in a few steps. She found one of her silk robes in the closet and slipped it on her naked body as she went in search of the thing she’d never known she’d been searching for.

She smiled reflexively as she wandered downstairs, thinking about last night as she moved toward the kitchen. And then, she saw Juliana, dressed in nothing but an oversized t-shirt, her bare, tanned legs exposed up to her thighs as she stood with her back to Valentina at the kitchen island. She’d thrown her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head, her long neck visible, Juliana’s silhouette breathtaking against the morning sun streaming through the windows. Valentina wished she had any sort of artistic ability, wanting badly to capture the moment of beauty but knowing she could never do it justice. 

She snuck up behind her and wrapped her arms around Juliana’s torso. “Morning, mi amor” Valentina said in a tone already laced with desire, the words true on her tongue, the best form of expression she had besides how her body responded in Juliana’s presence.

“Ya, Val,” Juliana said loudly, jumping slightly from surprise before turning around in Valentina’s long arms.

Facing one another, Valentina could see the small blooms of color dotting across Juliana’s chest and up her neck, little reminders of last night, the memories flooding back as she followed their trail. Juliana’s cheeks turned pink under Valentina’s penetrating stare, but unlike her normal reluctance, she straightened her back and arched an eyebrow, almost like a challenge.

“Just admiring my handywork,” Valentina said as she dipped her head and placed a kiss on one of the blooms, Juliana melting into the touch in a way that caused warmth to snake around Valentina’s body with the simple gesture.

“Have you looked in the mirror?” Juliana chided as she brought a finger up to Valentina’s chest, tracing over her own marks with nimble, dextrous fingers. Valentina leaned in for a kiss, but the moment was interrupted as her stomach let out a menacing growl. Skipping dinner last night had not been one of her better ideas, and she let out a slight laugh at the absurdity of it all as she worked to temper the hollow gnaw in her gut. “I worked up an appetite. Who could have guessed?” she asked as she leveled her stare at Juliana again.

“I’m making chilaquiles,” Juliana answered as she turned back toward the counter top, Valentina’s arms still wrapped around her. 

Valentina adored these moments when it was just the two of them, living their lives beyond the chaos, even the simplest things together setting Valentina’s heart aflutter. To be fair, Juliana was the one usually  _ doing _ something, Valentina mostly staring at her beauty like she couldn’t get enough, like every day her job was to discover something new to see, something more to map on Juliana’s body. Another little piece of understanding. Another layer to add to the beautiful tapestry that was Juliana Valdes.

She was an explorer, only her uncharted territory was every dimple and freckle and divot. And more than the physical, she wanted to explore the emotional. The sensual. She wanted to know how Juliana responded to everything. What sounds she made when she was excited. How her posture changed when she was annoyed. The way she bent one leg under her body while she sketched sometimes, so lost in thought, her brow furrowed as she drew scattered lines that morphed into something beautiful.

And say what you want about Valentina, she took her job extremely seriously as the president of the Juliana Valdes worshipping club. Today, it was how the muscles of Juliana’s forearms flexed as she picked up a knife and began chopping vegetables. How she hummed  _ Eso Es Amor _ quietly to herself while focusing methodically on her tasks. 

Valentina had never been good at focusing, even worse at focusing on anything repetitive. Juliana’s years spent learning to sew seemed to have given her this ability Valentina loved to make even the most mundane things seem interesting, a practiced focus that Juliana would get lost in, Valentina watching her until she was inevitably caught staring as she worked to take it all in.

“What would I do without you?” Valentina asked as she pressed her body closer into Juliana’s, loving how they fit together, how Juliana always smelled like sweet wildflowers even when she wasn’t wearing perfume. 

“Right now, go hungry,” Juliana said with a laugh as she continued to chop quickly.

“What do you want to do today?” Valentina asked as she worked to not distract Juliana from the very important task of making them breakfast, a gnawing in her stomach that had, surprisingly, nothing to do with lustful want anymore.

Juliana cocked her head to the side, likely considering the question in quiet contemplation. “I need to finish up a few sketches, but other than that, I hadn’t thought much about it…” 

Valentina grinned. “What I hear you saying is that you want to draw me like one of your French girls,” she teased as her fingers rubbed up and down the column of Juliana’s spine, lightly massaging the skin through her shirt.

“Wey, what’s gotten into you?” Juliana asked as she bumped her ass against Valentina, pushing her back slightly.

With their bodies separated for a moment, Valentina needed to capitalize on the momentum and walk away. She’d try to stay stuck to Juliana like super glue all day if given the chance. “Did you already make coffee?” Valentina asked as she rounded the kitchen island quickly, no distance safe from the pull of Juliana.

Juliana nodded her head as she walked toward the stove before leveling a stare at Valentina. “You need to go outside.” 

Valentina’s eyes flicked up to Juliana’s, scanning her face to understand her surprising words. She cocked her head, wondering if something had changed between last night and this morning, her eyes faltering slightly. “Why?” Valentina asked in a slightly whiny voice she couldn’t temper, already missing Juliana even though they were still together.

She wanted nothing more than to push Juliana up against the counter and continue exactly where they’d left off, but she didn’t. She kept her hands at her sides, fidgeting back and forth on the balls of her feet as she worked to understand the situation.

“No, Val. It’s nothing bad,” Juliana said as she closed the space between them, like she could read her mind. She pressed their bodies together against the edge of the counter and brushed an errant hair from Valentina’s forehead before giving her a smile that melted Valentina, so sincere and charming it made her heart beat wild.

“I had fun last night,” Valentina admitted tentatively as she wrapped a hand around Juliana’s waist, working to keep the touch light when all she really wanted to do was lift Juliana’s shirt up past her hips and dance her fingers across every expanse of skin she could find.

“I did, too…” Juliana looked down to Valentina’s lips as she spoke, a small thrill shooting through Valentina’s body at the gesture.

“Then why are you sending me away, mi amor?” Valentina asked in a slightly teasing voice, more confident than a moment ago although still not completely comforted by Juliana’s words.

“Val,” Juliana whined as she rolled her eyes in a way that did nothing but encourage Valentina, continuing to brush her finger across Valentina’s temple in a soothing pattern. She leaned into the touch, unable to stop herself from the wanting, the desire to be as close as possible. “I’m going to end up burning the chilaquiles if you keep looking at me like that, and we need to eat food. You’re going to be a monster later if you get too hungry. Trust me. I’ve been there.”

Valentina let out a gentle exhale mingled with a laugh, Juliana’s words extremely true. But she hated being away from her, and she gave a little pout to let her annoyance be known. “You’re no fun.”

“And you’ll be no fun later,” Juliana responded immediately. “Go sit outside,” she said, making a gentle shooing motion with her hands, the tips of her fingers lightly grazing against Valentina’s robe. She wondered what would happen if she loosened the silk tie and let it slip from her shoulders. Although Juliana may be tempted, she was right. They both needed food, and Valentina needed to sequester herself if she couldn’t control her roaming hands and eyes.

Valentina grabbed her coffee and headed out the sliding door, smiling brightly in spite of being relegated to the outdoors. The morning was already warm, small flecks of dew sticking to the perfectly trimmed blades of grass in the yard, the sun shining brightly on the almost cloudless day. She slipped into one of the shaded chairs at the table, staring out at the manicured yard and landscaped pool area that she’d loved so much as a child. She’d missed coming to the Valle house after her mother died, but she’d been told no, resolutely, and she hadn’t pushed. 

But if she thought she’d loved the house as a child, being here with Juliana was something entirely different and even better which she hadn’t known was possible. It was their little oasis, away from prying eyes and inquisitive stares and anyone who wanted their time when all Valentina wanted was to be wrapped up in Juliana for as long as possible.

She knew the limelight bothered Juliana, that them becoming a public spectacle had been hard for her to deal with, so she’d started making sure the pool and grounds were maintained and that cleaners came every week to ensure they could sneak away whenever their schedules permitted. The only thing Juliana had failed to realize, and of this, Valentina was absolutely certain, was that one day Juliana was going to be a wildly successful fashion designer, and when that happened, it would be Valentina caught in Juliana’s world of celebrity and not the other way around.

Valentina was pulled from her daydreams of a future modeling for her fashion designer girlfriend as the woman in question stepped onto the veranda with two plates piled high with food, like a sexy, domestic goddess, her heart constricting at the sight. She was still wearing only her large shirt, tendrils of hair framing her face, unable to push them away with her hands currently occupied.

Valentina slid her legs out from under her and placed her feet against the ground, a laugh escaping her lips as Juliana walked closer, the mountains of food growing larger. “Hungry?” Valentina asked, eyes bright as she eyed both Juliana and the food with an intensity that made her feel almost predatory with her inability to temper it.

“I blame you,” Juliana stated matter-of-factly as she set the plates down on the large wooden table and slipped into a chair next to Valentina.

“You can blame me for ruining dinner the first time, but I tried to give you fruit upstairs. The rest of the night is on you,” Valentina teased, smirking slightly at Juliana’s indignant huff in response.

Juliana scowled at her without speaking, although there was no depth to the stare, picking up her fork and twirling it between her fingers. Valentina’s eyes followed the motion, mesmerized as Juliana’s fingers danced across the silver with the focus and consistency that Valentina loved so much, unable to stop herself from thinking about all the other things Juliana’s fingers did with the same methodical and practiced ease. A small flush wrapped itself around her body, and she quickly picked up her own fork and unceremoniously shoveled a large bite of food in her mouth before she got caught staring. Apparently, arms and hands and fingers were Valentina’s focus today, unsurprising given the activities of last night. 

“What do you have to sketch today?” Valentina asked before taking another bite of food, confused when she considered the idea. “I thought you finished your classes for the semester.”

“I may be adding another class next semester, and I need to do some work for it to make sure I’m a good fit.” Juliana fidgeted in her seat, staring down at her plate of food instead of looking at Valentina.

“So, it’s like a tryout?” Valentina pushed cautiously, working to slowly coax the story from Juliana.

Juliana cocked her head to the side as she considered the words, thoughtfully chewing her food. “I guess,” she said with little enthusiasm. “They have a guest professor in from London for the next semester, so the class is invitation only.”

“That’s so fantastic, mi amor,” Valentina beamed, unable to hold back her pride. Valentina knew that being invited to classes was a huge accomplishment, even if Juliana wanted to pretend it wasn’t. Juliana rolled her eyes and slipped her facade of stoicism back over her face as she took another bite. “So, it sounds like your presentations went really well then?” Valentina continued, undeterred by Juliana’s unwillingness, still in an especially chipper mood from last night.

“Yep,” Juliana said as she continued to focus intensely on her chilaquiles.

Valentina wanted nothing more than to let Juliana come to her, to share things when she was ready, but at this rate, Juliana would be flying across the world to do fashion shows before she’d even admitted to Valentina that she’d graduated school. “Mi amor,” Valentina said sternly yet as softly as she could manage. She put down her fork and reached her hand out to brush some of Juliana’s stray tendrils behind her ear, taking a few extra seconds to rub gently at her temple. She could feel Juliana’s resistance waning, although sometimes, it felt like one step forward, two steps back with her. “I thought we talked about this last night,” Valentina pushed, continuing to stare at Juliana deeply, hoping she understood how much she loved her. How she wanted everything in the world for her. Including for Juliana to be proud of her accomplishments.

“I was under duress,” Juliana said with an eyebrow raise, clearly back in fighting form this morning.

Valentina smiled as she tapped the fingers not touching Juliana against the table, drawing the moment out as Juliana’s gaze flicked down to her hand. “That’s not what you said last night,” Valentina said throatily, using her voice to pull Juliana’s eyes back up to her stare.

“V-”

“Don’t ‘ _ Val  _ ’ me, baby,” Valentina cut in before Juliana could get the word out. “I just don’t understand why you don’t want to talk to me,” she continued with a pout, shifting her fingers down slightly to rub Juliana’s ear.

She heard a  _ V _ sound on the tip of Juliana’s tongue, but she shut her mouth quickly and took a deep breath. “I thought you liked when I said your name,” Juliana pushed back with a slightly cocky head tilt, obviously pleased with herself.

Valentina bit the inside of her cheek, mulling over her next words. She stared at Juliana evenly for a moment, the air between them charged. “I just don’t understand…” Valentina continued sadly, finding it surprisingly difficult to look Juliana in the eye. She was torn between guilt for pushing her and frustration with Juliana’s unwillingness to budge.

“V- Mi amor,” Juliana said, her mouth turning upward in a slight grin as she corrected herself quickly. “I just didn’t grow up talking about myself. And I didn’t grow up with people who asked me questions about what I was doing and how things are going. It’s just a skill I don’t have. Imagine if you’d never done something and then suddenly, someone wanted you to be great at it. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you and that I’m not happy...”

Valentina hung on every word, absorbing each syllable rolling off of Juliana’s tongue with an intense focus and attention. “I know, baby,” Valentina said, hanging her head slightly. She considered her options for a few seconds before the answer appeared in her mind, a flush warming across her body as she bit her lip. “But to be fair, you’d never had sex with a woman before, and you are so, so good at that. Even from the first time...” Valentina let the words hang between them, her hand dropping lower to cup around the side of Juliana’s neck.

“Val,” Juliana breathed out, shifting slightly closer as she brought her hand to rest on Valentina’s exposed thigh. She rubbed light circles against her skin, Valentina melting into the gentle touch.

Valentina smiled brightly, encouraged to continue. “I guess if you don’t want to talk about yourself, I can talk about you to you. That seems fair, right?” Valentina asked seriously, like it was the most important task she’d ever undertake.

“No, Val…” A blush fanned across Juliana’s cheeks, although she didn’t withdraw into herself. Didn’t roll her eyes again or ask Valentina to stop talking.

“Even the first time, when we were both nervous and unsure, you were  _ so _ good. Like honestly, I couldn’t believe it. You made me feel things I didn’t know I could possibly feel. You’re so good at anything you set your mind to. It’s one of the things I love most about you.” Valentina moved her hand resting on the table over to Juliana’s bare leg, scooting her chair slightly closer so that their knees almost touched. Juliana’s eyes were wide, but she continued to rub small circles on Valentina’s thigh which she took as a sign that it was okay for her to keep going. “Have I ever told you how much I love watching you sketch? How much I enjoy the way your brow furrows and how you focus so seriously that it’s like everything else in the world melts away.” Valentina paused and let the weight of her words settle between them.

Juliana moved the hand on Valentina’s thigh over to where Valentina’s fingers tapped against her leg, interlacing their fingers and giving Valentina’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t.”

Valentina cocked her head to the side. “I don’t what?”

A smile bloomed across Juliana’s face, even though she worked to temper it. “You don’t melt away, Val. I’m always thinking about you, even when I’m doing something else. Why do you think I asked you to leave the kitchen while I made breakfast. I couldn’t stare at you  _ and _ think about you  _ and _ focus on the food or that truly would have been a recipe for disaster.” And then, she looked at Valentina with a stare so sincere, it took her breath away. “But all I want to do is look at you.”

“Oh my god,” Valentina groaned as she processed the words. “Why are you so perfect and adorable and sexy even when you’re being difficult? I thought we were going to get into a fight and now all I want to do is kiss you until I can’t breathe.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Juliana said as she continued to trace progressively harder patterns across Valentina’s thigh, moving Valentina’s hand along with her. Juliana’s fingers began to knead into the skin and muscle, Valentina’s blood picking up momentum as it rushed through her body with no care for her sanity. “I was thinking maybe we could get in the jacuzzi today? I’m sure you have to be sore from last night,” Juliana said, her voice slightly slow as the fire roared to life in Valentina again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked around on the Twitter (@monicamccallan if you wanna chat), and we all agreed (because we're thirsty, thirsty people) that obviously the Valle house has a pool and jacuzzi, so here we are. Working to keep everything canon, but there will be a few things I'll have to make an assumption about.
> 
> Also, I kept this update to myself for 12 whole hours before posting which is probably a personal best for me.
> 
> Living for your comments. <3
> 
> Link to Spotify playlist: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R


	18. Let My Love Open The Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then, Valentina had swooped in with proclamations and encouragement, and it had turned everything Juliana had thought she’d known from a line drawing into a surrealist watercolor, a difference she now knew from the ridiculous elective art classes she was taking that she secretly loved.
> 
> And Valentina got her to admit to things, in spite of her best efforts to keep her emotions contained. Like how she couldn’t stop thinking of Valentina either. She’d barely managed to hold back that every time she sketched, she wondered how a design would look on Valentina. How it would accentuate her long frame and make her even more breathtaking. That it wasn’t outfits that made Valentina look pretty, it was Valentina who gave outfits a fighting chance to shine.

Juliana was trying to become more comfortable in Valentina’s world. A world with feelings and gestures and opulence unlike anything she’d ever experienced. She still felt awkward when Valentina bought her ridiculously expensive things since she couldn’t reciprocate, but the Valle house already had the outdoor jacuzzi. It was silly to let it go to waste. 

At least, that’s what she told herself as she continued to knead into the muscle in Valentina’s thigh, remembering how they’d felt pressed against her cheeks last night, tight like a strung bow as she'd held herself above Juliana. 

Valentina shifted her head to the side and gave a smile that dazzled Juliana, broad and infectious as it grew across her face, Juliana’s doing the same, although slightly more tempered, in response.

“Beautiful and smart,” Valentina stated with an emphatic nod as she gave Juliana’s hand a squeeze. The movement caused Valentina’s robe to fall slightly, her collarbone and the round contour of her shoulder visible. Perfect, like everything else in the Valle house, Valentina looking so at home among the beautiful scenery. Juliana couldn’t stop her eyes as they followed the expanse of smooth skin, her finger already itching to sketch the moment and memorialize it forever. 

They were so different that Juliana still struggled with how well they fit together. Valentina was all soft edges and sweet whispers, and Juliana was hard lines and monosyllabic phrases. Valentina was the mongoose, beloved and revered, while Juliana was the snake, fierce and reviled. How had they ever found love with one another? The mongoose should have protected the world from the snake, and yet here Valentina was, welcoming Juliana into a place where those sharp edges became more pronounced against the backdrop of civility and class.

Them both being women was the least confusing thing about their relationship, their life experiences setting them down far different paths. But here they sat, holding hands in the morning sun, Valentina acting more like a snake charmer with her big eyes and pouty lips, beckoning Juliana into a world she had no business in.

Juliana had thought, maybe if she was lucky, she could have opened a little seamstress shop if she was ever able to settle down somewhere long enough to go to school. Or maybe get some type of apprenticeship and learn from an abuelita who wanted to pass along her skills. 

And then, Valentina had swooped in with proclamations and encouragement, and it had turned everything Juliana had thought she’d known from a line drawing into a surrealist watercolor, a difference she now knew from the ridiculous elective art classes she was taking that she secretly loved. 

And Valentina got her to admit to things, in spite of her best efforts to keep her emotions contained. Like how she couldn’t stop thinking of Valentina either. She’d barely managed to hold back that every time she sketched, she wondered how a design would look on Valentina. How it would accentuate her long frame and make her even more breathtaking. That it wasn’t outfits that made Valentina look pretty, it was Valentina who gave outfits a fighting chance to shine.

With Valentina’s eyes still on her, she realized she’d been lost in her own world, Valentina scrunching her nose up like she was trying to see inside her mind. 

Some days, Juliana felt exhausted from trying to hold everything in, still afraid that if Valentina saw inside, she’d realize that Juliana was damaged beyond repair. A garment that was too frayed to be mended. At a certain point, the work wasn’t worth the effort, and it was best to start fresh, to take what was learned from the experience and put it towards something else.

But that’s not what Valentina seemed to see, staring at Juliana like she hung the moon. Juliana blushed, working to compartmentalize the thoughts of inadequacy and tuck them away neatly in a box. “How are your classes going?” Juliana asked. She removed their intertwined hands in order to take another bite of food, a futile attempt to hide from Valentina’s stare.

“Fine,” Valentina answered as she focused on her food too, her short answer surprising Juliana.

Juliana frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you give a one word answer for anything including yes or no questions,” she joked, working to lighten the mood that had shifted. It was like a switch had flipped, something that almost never happened with Valentina, her cheerfulness as constant as her eye color or her height.

“School’s been weird,” Valentina added after Juliana’s prompt, twirling her fork against the almost empty plate.

And as Valentina said the words, Juliana looked at her again.  _ Really _ looked at her, surprised for how much time she spent doing it at what she’d missed. Valentina seemed tired, and not from their escapades last night. When she dropped the cheerful facade for even a moment, there was a sadness in her eyes, her shoulders rounding into themselves like she wanted to disappear.

As she took the sadness in, Juliana hated how her own thoughts had consumed her. How she was constantly so afraid of Valentina finding her lacking that she had missed it, now more obvious than a freight train as Valentina sat in front of her.

“What’s going on?” Juliana asked as casually as she could manage, discovering for the first time that maybe there were things that Valentina didn’t like to talk about either, that she held close to her own chest. That maybe focusing on Juliana all the time had allowed her to forget focusing on herself, on the problems that had calmed but not abated since everything had come to a head those months ago.

“It’s nothing…” Valentina refused to look at her but smiled half-heartedly, staring on her fork like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing,” Juliana pushed, realizing for the first time how frustrating it was to be on this side of the situation, to want to help someone and not be allowed in. She softened her stare and put her hand over Valentina’s to draw her focus back to her. “Mi amor,” she breathed, finally understanding her hypocrisy as she absorbed Valentina’s woe, wanting nothing more than to help her with the burden. “What’s going on?”

Valentina looked at her with the deepest, saddest eyes, like she was on the verge of tears. “I just feel like things are a bit of a mess right now,” she said with an insincere laugh, a small hiccup pushing out as she tried to hold in her breath.

“Val,” Juliana said frowning, her own body pained with the despondency radiating from Valentina, like something had snuffed out her light. But she didn’t want to stop it from flowing out. She wanted to capture it, every single ounce, and keep it away from Valentina. Protect her from anything that could cause this reaction to the person who deserved all the happiness in the world.

“We don’t need to talk about it. I just want us to have a nice weekend together,” Valentina responded as she tried to infuse a chipperness in her tone, her voice faltering.

“No, Val. No,” Juliana said more resolutely, again confronted with the burden she’d been placing on Valentina with her lack of willingness to engage. To be present and emotionally vulnerable in a way she now realized Valentina needed. “I want to be here for you. I want to know what’s going on. Us talking about how you feel doesn’t change anything about this weekend,” she said firmly. 

A small tear dropped from Valentina’s eye, catching gently on her cheek before rolling down. Juliana reached out her hand with a slow movement and wiped the tear away with her thumb, waiting as patiently as she could manage for Valentina to begin speaking.

After what felt like an agonizing eternity, Valentina took a deep breath. “It’s just been a lot. Eva gets sentenced this week. My dad’s still wandering around the house like a zombie.” She cocked her head to the side and let out a frustrated laugh. “My dad. Your dad’s body? I don’t even know. I miss Lucia. I still feel guilty about Lucho, and I feel like people are always staring at me when I walk through school.” Valentina paused after the words tumbled out, like she hadn’t expected to give them away, secrets she wanted to take to her grave. Not that graves were the end of anything, as they now both understood.

“Mi amor,” Juliana said as she lifted her hand up to cup Valentina’s cheek, working to absorb the information Valentina had just pushed out. “It’s a lot. I know it’s a lot,” Juliana continued as she ran her finger over Valentina’s cheek, working to soothe the erratic energy radiating from her, to help her stabilize so that they could talk about everything that Juliana stupidly hadn’t realized Valentina had been holding in.

And then, Valentina laughed. A slightly high, off kilter sound that floated into the silence of morning. It was the sweetest, strangest thing Juliana had ever heard. A bit strangled, like Valentina couldn’t quite believe the absurdity of what she’d just said. “What I just said sounds insane. It  _ is _ insane,” she emphasized again as she rubbed her finger against her eyebrow soothingly.

Juliana leaned forward. “It does insane, but I know it’s real, Val. I was there. We were there  _ together _ . The things that happened were weird and awful and crazy, but they were real. It’s okay to feel the weight of them, even if it feels like our lives were some strange plot in a telenovela.”

Valentina let out another harsh laugh before she stilled, leveling her deep blue eyes at Juliana. “You don’t,” she said with a tone that Juliana couldn’t quite decipher.

Juliana cocked her head to the side, not quite understanding. “What do you mean?”

“You seem fine. I mean, besides not wanting to talk about yourself which is nothing new. You see my dad in your dad’s body when you’re over at the house, and you don’t even bat an eye. How do you  _ do that _ ?” she asked, her tone a mix of annoyance mingled with disbelief.

Juliana shifted in her chair, working to stop herself from shutting down and deflecting, finally understanding the importance of her words. How lost Valentina had been these past few months, trying to make sense of everything on her own. She’d thought that acting normal in spite of the absurdity was the right thing to do, not realizing that it only left Valentina confused and alone with her grief. “It’s not always easy, Val. Yeah, it’s weird, but when I’m there, I get to see you. I was serious when I said that you never melt away. You are never far from my mind. So I have to see a dude who looks like my dad. Strange, yes. But something that would make me stay away from you? Not in a million fucking years,” she said, more emphatically than she’d intended.

Valentina chewed on the inside of her cheek as she considered Juliana’s words. “I just hate it…” she said as she averted her eyes.

Juliana cut in immediately. “That’s totally fair. But there is so much good stuff happening. I know Eva’s going to have to go to jail, but you’re going to have an amazing little niece to spoil and love. And it’s okay to miss Lucia. You’ve had a lot of loss, mi amor. It doesn’t get easier, and I don’t know that anyone ever gets better at dealing with it.” Valentina refused to make eye contact, Juliana growing desperate to get through to her. “ Mírame, Val…”

Valentina looked up, her eyes lost. “I don’t want you to see me like this…”

“Val,” Juliana said, reaching up to stop Valentina from covering her face with her hand. It was time to put her cards on the table, finally realizing that holding them close hadn’t been protecting herself, only hurting them both. “This last year has been absolutely batshit crazy, but I wouldn’t take back a single second.” She lifted an eyebrow and stared at Valentina intently. “Ask me why,” she said, running her finger under Valentina’s chin.

Valentina rolled her glassy eyes, something she didn’t do often but that Juliana secretly loved. “Why?”

“Because it’s how I found  _ you _ . All the crazy stuff. All the bad stuff. All the good stuff. I would never,  _ never _ wish it away because I may not have met you otherwise. And I don’t know what I’d do if that hadn’t happened. I wake up thinking about you, and when I go to sleep, I dream about you.” She paused, a blush working across her cheeks. “I woke you up last night because I wanted you so badly that I couldn’t sit with myself. Couldn’t wait another second to touch you. To taste you.” She saw a smile grace Valentina’s lips, like the sun peaking through after the storm, encouraged to continue. “Valentina Carvajal, I love you so, so much. And I’m sorry about how difficult it is for me to talk about my feelings. But I’m going to do better. I  _ want _ to do better.”

Valentina bit her lip, her shoulders beginning to round out. “I don’t want you to be something you’re not…”

“And I don’t want you to hold your feelings in because you think that just because I don’t say a lot, it means you shouldn’t either.”

“Touche,” Valentina said with a more genuine laugh, placing her hands on top of Juliana’s thighs. “If I’d have known I just had to break down crying to get you to talk to me, I would have tried that way sooner…”

Juliana pursed her lips before a small laugh escaped her lips. “You’re absolutely insane.”

“Would you expect me to be any other way after what we’ve been through?” Valentina countered. 

“I hate that you’re not having a good time at school though. I don’t like that story at all,” Juliana said as she wrapped a tendril of Valentina’s long hair around her fingers.

Valentina let out a long exhale before speaking, melting into Juliana’s touch. “You can be rich or poor, famous or unknown, and people are still going to try and tell you who you are. They’re going to take snippets of gossip and real information and mix it into an interesting story. I know that I can’t change it, but it sucks all the same. I think it’s just really making me consider who my true friends are.”

Juliana leaned forward before she thought about it, placing a light, simple kiss on Valentina’s lips. “And who are you, mi amor?”

“I don’t know that I’ve ever really had to consider it before. Until you. Until  _ us _ , I’d never cared enough to define myself to other people.” Valentina’s honesty made Juliana’s heart constrict, finally understanding how much she’d truly put herself out there when she’d professed her love on television.  

“Maybe you should have majored in philosophy,” Juliana said with a small smile as she continued to play with Valentina’s hair, shocked at how much she loved them talking like this, how they were putting their insecurities and confusion on display and working through it together.

“I’m sure you would love to sit around for endless hours with me and talk about the meaning of life,” Valentina said as a small, sarcastic smile worked across her face, her eyes lighter and less tear-filled than before.

Juliana lifted a brow and moved her hand to cup Valentina’s cheek again. “I can’t promise I’d have a lot to add, but I want to listen to you talk whenever you want, for as long as you want…” She hoped Valentina understood her sincerity, that there was nothing she’d rather be doing than being with Valentina, helping her make sense of the world and feel stability with Juliana.

A sweet laugh pushed forward between Valentina’s lips, soft and low. “I mean...you are my Principe Azul,” she said with a slight blush.

“And in another life, I think you were mine,” Juliana countered, the truth of her words running heavy through her veins with the weight of them.

“What about in this one?” Valentina asked, slightly unsure of herself.

Juliana considered the question, the answer now so obvious she couldn’t believe she’d never said the words out loud before. She looked at Valentina so intensely that her heart picked up, although it wasn’t erratic like most times in Valentina’s presence. It was a steady, focused thrum, a tempo that she could keep time with regardless of what was going on around them. What crazy new situation they were confronted with next. “Mi amor, I think in this life, we save each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not familiar with the whole mongoose/snake metaphor, it's from a famous children's story about a mongoose who protects a wealthy family from a snake: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rikki-Tikki-Tavi
> 
> Also, the song is the Rogue Wave cover of Let My Love Open the Door. Playlist here: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R
> 
> Sometimes I'll get chapters out faster (like this one) because it flows well with the previous chapter and is easier for me to crank out.
> 
> So many feelings. I just love them. I think emotional vulnerability is *my* kink. Hope you enjoy!


	19. Taxi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How far you’ve come, mi amor,” Valentina teased as she scanned Juliana’s face. “From running away after I kiss you to this…”
> 
> Juliana rolled her eyes but only squeezed Valentina’s hand tighter. “But I still let you do it. Imagine if I had run away before,” Juliana said quirking an eyebrow.
> 
> “Nooooo,” Valentina pouted, hating to even consider the possibility. “I would have been very, very sad. Inconsolable,” she said dramatically, a slight blush fanned across her cheeks, her skin warming with the admission. But obviously Juliana knew that. She had to know that.

If Valentina had thought she was in love before, she was sorely mistaken. When the words  _ we save each other _ tumbled out of Juliana’s perfect lips, she felt them everywhere. In her hair, that Juliana had pulled on last night, coaxing feelings from her body that had left her weak and disoriented. In her limbs, tired and heavy from pushing into one another, Juliana pressed against her more comfortable than any piece of clothing she’d ever worn. In her skin, barely holding her body together, Juliana’s touch now like a branding iron that existed no matter if her hands were on her at that moment or not. In her lips, a smile blooming wild across her face that she couldn’t contain. And in her heart. Her flitting, haphazardly tempoed heart, no longer under her own control. And maybe, it never had been. 

“Juls,” she said breathlessly, the weight of Juliana’s words tempered with her even, resolute stare coursing through Valentina’s veins like an antidote she hadn’t known she’d needed.

Juliana beamed a slightly lopsided smirk in her direction as she continued to play with Valentina’s hair. “Everything I said is true. And I don’t need anyone else to understand us. I’ve told you that before. There will always be people. There will always be things. There will always be problems. But I hope,” Juliana said, looking shy as she ran her finger across Valentina’s ear, “There will always be you. And as long as I know that we’re together, that we’re figuring things out, it will be okay to me. It will all be worth it.”

Valentina wanted to melt into a puddle of happiness like a popsicle in the sun as she absorbed Juliana’s words, maybe the most she’d ever heard her speak in succession. She knew Juliana loved her, but knowing it and hearing it were still different, and she was so grateful to Juliana for moving beyond her comfort zone, for being willing to give Valentina what she needed, even if it wasn’t easy for her. “You’re really unfairly great, you know that?” Valentina teased as she brought her hand up to Juliana’s face and gently stroked the dimple on Juliana’s chin with her thumb.

“Please remember that the next time I do something that annoys you,” Juliana teased right back, the seriousness of the moment blossoming into something different. Something that, if possible, made her heart beat even faster.

They switched so effortlessly between emotions together, Valentina still surprised at the ease with which they resolved things. She’d never had this. Not with boyfriends. Not with friends. The closest person she felt this way with was Guille, but they were siblings, stuck with one another whether they wanted to be or not. Less than five minutes ago, she’d been crying about all the things that had been running through her mind, and now, all she could do was stare at Juliana with adoration that worked to push itself from her body, to make Juliana understand how happy she made her.

With Juliana, being together was a choice, although as the days ticked by, it didn’t so much feel like that anymore. It felt closer to those big, expansive words that people only used in books and movies. The words she’d once ridiculously tried to explain to Juliana that she didn’t believe in. Words that she’d never understood before Juliana, unable to believe they were real. 

_ Fate. _

_ Destiny. _

_ Soulmates. _

But as she considered them, they did a better job than any others of conveying their relationship, that they had truly been living through time, coming together and falling apart through life and death and struggle and happiness, always finding one another again. This couldn’t be the first time. How else was it possible to feel this deeply for someone so quickly, drawn into Juliana’s sphere since the moment they’d met?

How else could she explain these emotions after what, categorically, was not a very long amount of time at all? She barely had words to describe her own emotions, but to try and describe their relationship, to try and make sense of it in a practical and rational way, she really couldn’t.

“Are you okay?” Juliana asked, breaking the silence enveloping the moment as Valentina’s mind had worked to wrap itself around the situation.

“Yes, mi amor,” Valentina said, her voice gaining some of the confidence she’d lost as the tears had streamed down her face. “Thank you.” She reached over and grabbed Juliana’s free hand, interlacing their fingers, enjoying the warmth radiating from Juliana’s body.

Of all the things they did together, she still loved holding Juliana’s hand most of all, something they’d done since the very beginning. Something sweet and pure and that still made her heart beat unevenly.

Juliana let out a half-hearted groan as she squeezed Valentina’s hand. “You never need to thank me for being here for you,” she said as she lifted their interlaced hands.

“God, I just love you,” Valentina gushed, unable to keep the words from tumbling out, the force of her feelings pushing them free regardless of her want to maintain her composure.

Juliana lifted their interlaced hands up toward her mouth, her eyes bright, her bottom lip pulled gently between her teeth. She kissed Valentina’s fingers one by one, just as Valentina had done last night. “I love you,” Juliana said as she kissed her thumb, giving the tip a playful bite as she released it. “And I think you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” she said, placing a kiss on her pointer finger. “And  _ you _ , mi amor, are the sexiest thing in the world,” she said, placing a kiss on her index finger, Juliana’s intense stare making Valentina’s stomach drop low. “And only if you beat me to it,” she said, placing a kiss on Valentina’s ring finger, a heat fanning across Valentina’s body with the implication. “And I can barely stand how frustratingly good you are at knowing exactly what I need, even before I do,” she finished as she placed a kiss on Valentina’s pinky finger before slowly drawing it into her mouth.

As last night came back with what should be innocent touches, Valentina swelled with more emotion than she could contain. Juliana wasn’t as verbally expressive, but she made it count for so much when she did speak up, cracking Valentina’s heart wide open like it was the first time all over again, constantly thrown with the weight of her emotions.

“How far you’ve come, mi amor,” Valentina teased as she scanned Juliana’s face. “From running away after I kiss you to this…”

Juliana rolled her eyes but only squeezed Valentina’s hand tighter. “But I still let you do it. Imagine if I had run away before,” Juliana said quirking an eyebrow.

“Nooooo,” Valentina pouted, hating to even consider the possibility. “I would have been very, very sad. Inconsolable,” she said dramatically, a slight blush fanned across her cheeks, her skin warming with the admission. But obviously Juliana knew that. She had to know that. 

The first time in the pool, it felt like everything, at least for her, had been building toward an inevitable conclusion. Far beyond her control, the wheels of fate already in motion. The only thing she disliked when she remembered their first kiss is that she’d been drinking, that the depth of her feelings were so overwhelming that she’d worked to temper it with mezcal. But that was the last thing she’d needed with Juliana, hating for even a second that anything about that first kiss could have been dulled, that she could have experienced it more fully.

“Me too,” Juliana said sincerely as she ran her fingers along her neck, Valentina nuzzling into the touch, warmth radiating from everywhere Juliana’s fingers skimmed across. “You like to call me brave, but I think you’re the brave one...” Juliana maintained eye contact with her as she said the words, and Valentina thought it was the sexiest thing in the world, loving how she felt with Juliana’s intense stare trained on her.

“It was like breathing. How could I not do it?” Valentina admitted, her eyes staring hungrily at Juliana as she worked to take everything in, her lips curling into a smile before she spoke again. “But I’d like to think by the next time, we were in it together,” she said as she remembered the back seat of the SUV, another blush working its way across her cheeks.

A small laugh escaped Juliana’s lips. “Ya, Val. We definitely were, but I don’t think poor Alirio would have appreciated it going any further.”

She’d never told Juliana how out of control her want had been in those moments in the back seat, how she’d been propelled by the idea of Juliana leaving and when she’d accepted that it might happen, she’d wanted to feel as much as possible, to hold onto any semblance of what they had if it was all going to be over. How do you live a lifetime,  _ a million lifetimes _ , when time was running out? “I was so scared you were going to leave. That we weren’t ever going to get the chance to be together.” 

“To be fair, Val, you can call it what you want, but…” Valentina looked at Juliana with a slightly confused stare, not understanding Juliana’s words. “We were pretty much always  _ together _ . Even if we weren’t  _ together _ . I just didn’t understand at the time. I didn’t grow up with a lot of friends, and I thought maybe it was normal. To want to spend all my time with you. To want to be as close to you as possible. To want to be the person you confide your hopes and dreams and sadness in,” Juliana said as she moved her finger to Valentina’s cheek and began to stroke the smooth skin.

Valentina had used that word,  _ normal _ , so many times to explain their love to other people, but inside the situation, nothing about it felt normal. The way Juliana made her feel. How Valentina felt like she was always pulled by an invisible string toward her. How she wanted so badly to protect Juliana. To show her how loved she was. It that was normal, she didn’t know how the world managed to function every day, overwhelmed by her feelings, able to focus on little else when Juliana was near.

“I wanted to spend all my time with you, too.” Valentina smiled, unable to stop herself. “I still do, actually…” 

Juliana let out a gentle groan as she continued to stroke Valentina’s cheek. “Aren’t you just the charmer,” Juliana teased as she dropped her hand down to Valentina’s thigh again. “I do believe we had a post-breakfast jacuzzi date. Are you done with your chilaquiles?”

“Yes,” Valentina said with a nod before shoveling the last bite into her mouth. Juliana cooked as well as she made love, so there was no way Valentina was letting a single bite go to waste. Not of the food. And not of Juliana’s body. “I can do the dishes later,” Valentina said after she finished chewing.

Juliana’s eyebrow drew upward with surprise. “You’re going to do the dishes?”

Valentina gave her a playful slap as she stood up and picked up her plate. “I can do things…” she said as she picked up Juliana’s and stacked it on top of her own.

“You would have made excellent tips as a waitress,” Juliana said as she eyed Valentina’s slightly wobbly pile.

Valentina squinted at her. “I feel like you’re making fun of me,” she said lightly as she turned and headed back toward the kitchen. She felt Juliana close behind, reaching around her to open the sliding glass door when they got to the house.

“Never,” Juliana said seriously, although Valentina couldn’t see her face and had a suspicion she was smirking.

“If I didn’t have these plates right now, I would show you all the other things I excel at,” Valentina said as she walked over and deposited them unceremoniously with a clank against the metal of the sink, already distracted, all of her focus on Juliana. She turned on her heel and faced Juliana who was still halfway across the room. 

“Are there suits here?” Juliana asked, confirming that she was indeed smirking at her.

Valentina smirked right back, standing up straight as she brought her hand to the small knot on her hips holding her robe together. “It’s just us, mi amor,” she said with a wolfish grin she couldn’t suppress. “I don’t think there’s any need for suits…”

Juliana’s brows drew upward as she registered the words, emotion flashing across her face that made Valentina’s heart beat faster. “Good point,” Juliana said after pausing to consider the statement, cocking her head to the side like a challenge, the moment deliciously charged in a way that Valentina still couldn’t get enough of.

Without another word, Juliana clutched at the hem of her shirt with her fingers and lifted it in a quick motion over her head, now standing completely naked in the kitchen of the Valle house. She looked so perfect in the late-morning sun, Valentina still taken aback at the want. By the desire to rake her eyes across Juliana’s body and rake her hands across her, too.

Valentina couldn’t contain the grin that blossomed across her face, excitement rushing through her. She quickly undid the knot on her robe and let the silky fabric flutter to the ground. “After you,” she said, gesturing toward the sliding glass door as she walked toward Juliana. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am dead. If you aren't aware, the Puerto Rican version of the show released an extra/extended scene with it which you absolutely need to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPHOTJyTcI0
> 
> I was *trying* to take a little bit of a break, but I'm back in it. The fandom has awakened. 
> 
> The song for this chapter is Taxi by EXES, and I also have a Juliantina video for it which you can check out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCtlefVDI-M
> 
> Link to full playlist here: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R


	20. Two Young Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As she moved her hand forward, Valentina took a surprisingly quick step back. “Ya, Val?” Juliana huffed in annoyance as her hands slipped through the water without stopping against the skin she sought.
> 
> “Is that a yes?” Valentina asked, her eyes lighter than only moments ago, Juliana now wondering if she’d ever been in control given the quick shift.
> 
> “Yes, Val,” Juliana said through gritted teeth as she tried not to roll her eyes now that the tables had turned.
> 
> “Yes what, mi amor?” Valentina asked in a slightly sing-songy voice that Juliana wanted to find annoying but that only made her want Valentina more.

Juliana walked toward the outdoor jacuzzi, situated flush with the ground where the veranda flowed into the pool area. The tall, full trees around the property created the feeling like they were in their own world. Like for once, they were untouchable from the problems beyond their perfect oasis.

It was difficult to wrap her mind around how comfortable she felt walking around naked in the backyard of the Valle house, but the last day had left her reinvigorated to live life, to stop being so afraid of what she wanted. And what she wanted was for Valentina to be naked, so she’d taken the first step, knowing that Valentina disrobing wouldn’t take long if she did it first.

It was clear from their conversation at breakfast that Valentina still held things in, but in some ways, her extroversion continued to shine through--her comfort with her body, her comfort with touching, her comfort with wanting to touch Juliana. She couldn’t articulate how much those things mattered to her, how important Valentina’s confidence in those ways was to her own growth, to her own sense of finding comfort as a counterpart to Valentina, not just someone orbiting her world.

“Is the jacuzzi okay to use? We haven’t been over here in a while,” Juliana asked as she turned back toward Valentina, her breath catching in her throat. Valentina took a few long, purposeful strides across the patio, completely naked in the sun, like she was never meant to wear clothing. Juliana had never considered it a problem before that they both liked fashion, suddenly confronted with a hatred toward clothing she’d never felt until this moment.

Valentina’s lips turned upward as she walked over to a small cabinet nestled under the overhang of the porch and grabbed two towels from inside. “Yes. I had them clean it yesterday,” Valentina answered as she looked toward the crystal clear water.

Juliana cocked her head to the side as she dipped her toe in the water. “I thought getting in the jacuzzi was my idea?”

“It was, mi amor,” Valentina said simply before placing the towels on an empty chair. She pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips, Juliana in awe of her, although Valentina’s posture was surprisingly stiff. “But I’ve been having them come every week to keep the house and grounds maintained. I wanted it to be here for us at a moment’s notice if we needed to get away.” She looked slightly embarrassed at her admission, although Juliana didn’t understand why.

“That’s sweet, Val. You did tell me you wanted this to be our escape together. It’s so perfect here...” Juliana said as she eased herself into the warm water, the wetness enveloping her frame as she moved one of her arms through the slight resistance. “Are you going to get in?” she asked, holding her other hand above her eyes and looking upward to see Valentina in spite of the bright sun.

“So...I have an idea,” Valentina said standing at the edge, although she’d managed to dip a long toe in, moving it back and forth like a rudder. “But, I’m worried if I get in, I won’t be able to go through with it…” She smiled, looking like a child about to admit to bad behavior.

Juliana let out a low laugh and dropped the hand blocking the sun into the water, slowly beginning to wade through it to the other side and away from Valentina.

“Where are you going?” Valentina whined. Although the jacuzzi was fairly large, Valentina’s voice was louder than necessary with only a few feet of space between them, like Juliana had moved far away.

Juliana grinned as she settled against the far wall, a long seat running against the edge below the water line. “You can tell me your idea, but only if you get in,” she said playfully, gently splashing water in Valentina’s direction.

Valentina rolled her eyes and pushed her tongue into the inside of her cheek, a sure sign Juliana was getting a rise out of her. “Okay,” Valentina acquiesced, her voice slightly breathy. 

She walked in using the small steps that Juliana had disregarded, dropping lower into the water until it covered her up to her chest. She looked like a beautiful mermaid, her long hair cascading around her in loose waves, her hands pushing out to the sides as she began to bob up and down as she lifted her feet up from the bottom.

“Are you going to come over here?” Juliana asked as she made a motion through the water with her hands.

“I don’t know if I can,” Valentina answered quickly as she dropped her body lower so that she was submerged up to her chin.

“Should I come over to you?” Juliana asked with a confused eyebrow arch. “I’m the one who’s a horrible swimmer, remember?”

“No. You need to stay right there,” Valentina said, her tone causing a flutter to work itself through Juliana’s body. She had no idea what Valentina was up to right now, but the moment had shifted from playful to charged, Valentina’s chest bobbing up and down in the water as she took shallow breaths.

“So...you’re going to tell me your idea from over there?” Juliana asked, the words rolling slowly from her lips and with as much softness as she could manage, worried she’d startle Valentina out of the water completely.

“Yes,” Valentina answered with a serious and quick nod, like she had finally worked the idea out in her mind, although she still hadn’t clarified anything.

“Val. You’re talking in riddles…” Juliana said, although there was no exasperation in her voice. They had all day for Valentina to figure out what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it, Juliana content for the moment to let Valentina speak when she was ready. Although she had to admit, teasing her was more fun than she’d expected.

“Well...Before I tell you my idea, I wanted to talk to you about tonight.” Valentina looked at Juliana with her big, blue eyes, her lips pursed like she had more to say.

“What about tonight?” Juliana asked as she leveled her gaze back at Valentina, knowing exactly what she was talking about but wanting to hear her say it, surprisingly turned on by the idea.

“About...you know…” A blush fanned across Valentina’s cheeks, accentuated by the warm water, although Juliana couldn’t tell if Valentina’s embarrassment or the heat was making her flush crimson.

Juliana dropped her own body a little lower in the water, moving slightly off the seat so that her feet touched the bottom, although she didn’t move toward Valentina. “Val,” she said, her voice lower than intended and with a slight rasp that had come out of nowhere, “I don’t know if you can’t say it that you should be doing it.” And then she smirked, knowing full well what she was doing, wanting more than anything to coax the words out of the usually vocal Valentina.

Valentina looked down and dropped her head slightly lower so that her lips were under the water, the only sounds a mumble as she created bubbles and noises instead of actual words. 

Juliana hadn’t expected it, but it seemed like Valentina was embarrassed, struggling to come out and say what she wanted, even though they’d both understood what they were discussing last night. “So, we’re going to have a dance lesson tonight?” Juliana said, using Valentina’s metaphor against her, pushing her ever so slowly with her own words.

Valentina rolled her eyes and splashed water in Juliana’s direction. “You’re being mean,” she sulked. “You know what I want. Why are you making me say it?”

To be honest, Juliana didn’t know why she was making Valentina come out and say it except that she wanted to hear it. She wanted Valentina to vocalize her want because it sent a thrill straight to Juliana’s core when Valentina did, her center already tightening even as they danced around the subject. “Because I want to hear you say it,” she said honestly, moving her body slightly forward so that she was now near the center of the jacuzzi.

With her words, Valentina’s irises blew slightly wide, her want overtaking her face as she drew her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed at it forcefully. “I want you to fuck me,” Valentina said quietly, although in actual audible words this time.

Juliana cocked her head to the side and smirked. God, she was loving this way more than she probably should, but nothing really ever made Valentina squirm. Valentina had fingered herself on top of Juliana last night like she didn’t have a care in the world, so to see her grow nervous about something caused heat to wrap itself around Juliana’s body, her own arousal growing with Valentina’s surprisingly tentative words. “How?” Juliana said with a slight edge in her voice, taking another step forward so that she and Valentina were chest to chest now, Valentina standing up straight when Juliana got closer.

Valentina stood in front of her with big eyes, taking in shallow breaths as she bounced from foot to foot in the warm water. Juliana considered caving, telling Valentina that she understood, that she didn’t need to say it out loud.

But she also wanted to hear her say it, since that was the idea that caused her pulse to quicken and her own breath to pick up. For her stomach to drop low as a pointed throb began to build in her center. And maybe that made her selfish, but right now, she wanted those feelings more than she wanted to absolve Valentina of her embarrassment.

Valentina stared at her so intently, she felt like she could see right through her, like Juliana was made of the same water they stood in, clear and amorphous, the only thing giving her shape right now was Valentina stare.

Valentina took a few breaths and licked her lips, Juliana waiting anxiously for the words to come. And then, Valentina leaned in closer, her lips only a few inches away from Juliana’s. “I want you to fuck me with the strap-on,” she pushed out, her voice low and sultry and so tempting that Juliana’s hips twitched under the water as she registered them.

She knew the words that were coming, but it hadn’t prepared her for how she’d feel once Valentina said them. Heat snaked through her tight chest, her body acutely aware of how close Valentina was to her, of how Juliana wanted to reach out and touch her.

As she moved her hand forward, Valentina took a surprisingly quick step back. “Ya, Val?” Juliana huffed in annoyance as her hands slipped through the water without stopping against the skin she sought.

“Is that a yes?” Valentina asked, her eyes lighter than only moments ago, Juliana now wondering if she’d ever been in control given the quick shift.

“Yes, Val,” Juliana said through gritted teeth as she tried not to roll her eyes now that the tables had turned.

“Yes what, mi amor?” Valentina asked in a slightly sing-songy voice that Juliana wanted to find annoying but that only made her want Valentina more.

Juliana ran her tongue along her teeth as she considered whether to give in or not. She took a small step forward, licking her own lips and mirroring what Valentina had done to her only moments before. But they weren’t pulling one another, Juliana realized. They were both pushing, and there was no reason they couldn’t do that at the same time. “Yes,” Juliana said as she cocked her head to the side. “I want to fuck you with the strap-on.” She crossed her arms over her chest in defiance, her deep breaths moving her body up and down, out of the water slightly with each exhale.

Valentina held her tongue between her teeth as she reached out and slowly ran a finger from Juliana’s neck down to where her arms covered her chest. “That is excellent news, mi amor. Now we need to discuss my idea…” She let the words fall between them, like it was the most casual conversation in the world.

Juliana’s body already ached, unsure how things had gotten so wildly out of her control. Valentina’s touch was leaving a trail of fire across her skin, and she could barely form a coherent thought once she’d fully considered what they’d be doing tonight, the feeling magnified by how much they both seemed to want it. 

“What’s your idea?” Juliana asked once she remembered it was her turn to speak, Valentina’s fingers pushing hard against her collarbone and making it difficult to think about anything else except the touch against her skin.

Valentina smiled and tilted her head down slightly so that her eyes looked bigger, giving her the effect that she was more innocent than Juliana knew to be the case. “I don’t want either of us to come again until tonight. Until we use it together. Do you think you can handle that?” she said as she moved from using the tips of her fingers to her short nails, running them against Juliana’s bare skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the 20th chapter... I've said this before, but this was legitimately supposed to be a one shot. Then I started writing, and it kinda took on a life of its own. Still riding high from last night's released scene and all the Twitter love, so I wrote Chapters 19 & 20 today in my giddy excitement.
> 
> Partial box mystery fully revealed, but we're still not there yet. I think it's pretty clear there will be a few more torturous hours until we get there, but I think it will be worth it :)
> 
> You guys are absolutely amazing. Happy fucking Friday!
> 
> Song is Two Young Lovers by Sophie Rose. Full fic playlist here: http://bit.ly/2U4Ytxw
> 
> Come hang out with me on Twitter @MonicaMcCallan


	21. Sexual Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina pushed out a laugh and stopped her fingers on Juliana’s sternum. “No, I don’t want to be away from you.” She paused, her lips twitching before she continued. “But I was reading this book…”
> 
> Every part of Juliana’s body went completely still except for an eyebrow that arched dubiously with Valentina’s words. “What kind of book?” she asked with a hint of suspicion. “Last time you told me about a book, I had to accept that people could switch bodies.” She laughed at the absurdity of her statement, her body gently rolling as little waves sprung up in her wake and pushed toward Valentina.
> 
> “It was, um...it was a book about the philosophy of sex,” Valentina admitted, her eyes cast down toward the water, feeling vulnerable under Juliana’s penetrating stare.

Valentina hoped it seemed like she was keeping it together because inside, she was a quivering mess, and she knew she’d never make it until tonight if Juliana sensed her weakness, pushing her to break not a remotely difficult task at all with her growing arousal.

Best idea? Worst idea? She wasn’t sure, but she’d realized quickly that she’d miscalculated, assuming she’d have to get Juliana on board with the sex toy idea. Juliana’s enthusiasm for the strap-on had her more bothered than she knew what to do with, her stomach clenched tight below the water, surprised it wasn’t creating a little wave pool as they contracted with her deep breaths. If Juliana ran her long fingers across her abdomen, she’d feel how tense Valentina’s muscles were wound. And if Juliana ran her fingers just a little lower, she’d definitely know how Valentina felt about Juliana’s willingness to explore this with her.

“Does that mean I need to leave you alone for the next couple of hours?” Juliana asked, slightly teasing although clearly curious about how this proposal would work in reality.

It’s not like they couldn’t function without sex, but if last night was any indication, they’d missed one another the past week, and their bodies seemed to want to come together regardless of how innocent their interactions began.

Valentina pushed out a laugh and stopped her fingers on Juliana’s sternum. “No, I don’t want to be away from you.” She paused, her lips twitching before she continued. “But I was reading this book…”

Every part of Juliana’s body went completely still except for an eyebrow that arched dubiously with Valentina’s words. “What kind of book?” she asked with a hint of suspicion. “Last time you told me about a book, I had to accept that people could switch bodies.” She laughed at the absurdity of her statement, her body gently rolling as little waves sprung up in her wake and pushed toward Valentina.

“It was, um...it was a book about the philosophy of sex,” Valentina admitted, her eyes cast down toward the water, feeling vulnerable under Juliana’s penetrating stare. 

“Ya, Val?” Juliana said like she was surprised, her other eyebrow drawing up to meet its already arched counterpart.

Valentina loved how Juliana just did things, always willing to figure out answers to questions on her own, to consider things in quiet contemplation without making a spectacle of her thought process. Probably from her years of needing to operate that way with little to no positive intervention from the adults in her life, but it had made Juliana resilient and self-sufficient in a way Valentina wasn’t, in a way she may never be. 

She’d grown up in a world where people sought counsel when they needed help, although in this case, there wasn’t anyone she felt comfortable talking to about her questions. So, she had done the next best thing and downloaded a book, wanting to make sure she was doing a good job, to make sure she was doing everything in her power to make Juliana feel as good as possible. To keep her in her life and happy beyond measure for as long as possible.

“Don’t make fun of me,” she said as she pulled at Juliana’s arms away from her body so that Valentina could snuggle into her, could feel the comfort of Juliana against her skin.

“Val, I’m not making fun of you,” Juliana said as her arms came up around Valentina and pulled her close, their bodies sliding against one another in the water, Juliana’s arms anchoring them together. “I’m just not sure what prompted this. Is something wrong?” Juliana asked tentatively as she began to soothingly stroke Valentina’s hair.

“Nooooo, mi amor,” Valentina said emphatically as she burrowed her face into Juliana’s neck. “I just…” She paused, feeling embarrassed as she thought about the words. “I just want to make you happy…”

“Val,” Juliana whined, pulling Valentina slightly away from her so that they could look one another in the eyes. “ _ You _ make me happy. Everything we do  _ together _ makes me happy. I mean, except when you steal the covers in bed, but even then, it’s just an excuse for me to snuggle closer to you,” Juliana said with a smile that cracked Valentina open.

“I take my job as your girlfriend very seriously, you know,” Valentina said shyly as she reached her hand up and ran her fingers against Juliana’s temple, working to keep the moment innocent, acutely aware of where their naked bodies connected.

Juliana laughed and snuggled Valentina in closer again. “And what did this book tell you about being the best girlfriend in the world?”

Valentina didn’t speak, instead disengaging her body from Juliana’s and running her hand down Juliana’s arm before interlacing their fingers. Without any resistance from the lovable, but sometimes difficult Juliana, she led her over to the seat running along the edge under the water, spinning Juliana so that she had to sit down first.

Valentina slid her body on top of Juliana’s, barely any weight to be felt with the buoyant water holding her up. For the best, as she was already having flashbacks from last night, when her legs had wrapped around Juliana on the sofa, when her weight had pushed them together to create a friction she couldn’t easily withstand.

She put her arms around Juliana’s neck and extended her legs out to the side so that she sat in Juliana’s lap. “Well, mi amor...It’s been  _ very _ interesting, and I’m glad to finally have the opportunity to talk to you about it,” she said in a tone that modeled a salesperson pitching a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity. She splashed her feet idly in the water, the tips of her toes breaking the surface with every few kicks.

Juliana laughed and wrapped her arms around Valentina’s torso. “You’re so crazy,” she said as she nuzzled her head into Valentina’s neck.

“Crazy for you,” Valentina said as she flashed her most dazzling smile, the one she hoped Juliana couldn’t resist before continuing. “Okay, mi amor, so you’re probably not going to like the first part...” 

Juliana groaned and pulled her head back so that she could see Valentina again. “What is it?”

Valentina bit her lip, worrying about the delivery of her words until she realized it was best to just rip off the bandaid and go from there. “Well, apparently, communication is very important. Without that, it doesn’t matter how good the other stuff is,” she said as she waited to encounter whatever resistance Juliana threw at her. She was secretly thrilled that Juliana was even willing to have this conversation without protest, although it could be the fact that they were naked in the jacuzzi together that tempered Juliana’s mood.

“But what if the other stuff is  _ really _ good,” Juliana mused idly, Valentina’s heart swelling with the admission.

“Juls,” Valentina said sternly, working to reorient them to the conversation, to push past the implication in Juliana’s words so that she didn’t lose her resolve.

“You’re the one who couldn’t say strap-on,” Juliana teased as she ran her fingers up and down the column of Valentina’s spine, pressing with varying degrees of force that made Valentina lose her train of thought when Juliana’s fingers dug in especially deep.

Valentina smiled broadly and nodded in confirmation after she remembered what they’d been talking about, working to regain her focus as she shifted on top of Juliana. “You’re right, mi amor. That was a great example of you encouraging me to communicate.”

Juliana rolled her eyes, although she still held Valentina close. “Val...We know how to talk to one another. I know I don’t talk _a lot,_ but I can do it if necessary.”

“Then tell me about your presentation,” Valentina challenged, her eyes intense and unblinking.

“You said this was a book about sex. My school has nothing to do with our sex life,” Juliana said slightly triumphantly, like she’d finally shut the conversation down for good.

“Communication in all areas is important, not just the bedroom. We can’t fully explore what we want and express what we need unless we have a strong foundation of communication.”

“Is that a direct quote from the book? Did you memorize quotes to recite to me?” Juliana asked, Valentina unable to suss out the implication in her tone.

“Don’t change the topic. I wanna know how your presentation went,” Valentina said as she began to scratch against the back of Juliana’s neck lightly. She felt Juliana soften into the touch, and Valentina took things one step further, dropping her head lower to nuzzle their noses together.

“It went well,” Juliana said with a resigned sigh, her breath fluttering against Valentina’s lips. Valentina had to work to resist kissing her, wanting to hear what she  _ finally _ seemed ready to share with enough prodding. “I got the highest grade in the class which is why I have the opportunity to take that class I need to finish the sketches for.”

“Mi amor,” Valentina beamed, shocked but not that Juliana hadn’t told her. “That’s so amazing,” she said as she hugged her as closely as their positions would allow, pulling Juliana’s head against her chest and holding her like a baby.

“Val, I can’t breathe. You’re squeezing me so tight,” Juliana forced out raggedly, her fingers pushing hard into Valentina’s back. 

Valentina lessened her hold slightly, still keeping her close. “Another fantastic example of communicating your needs,” she said with a laugh as she booped Juliana’s nose.

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive this book,” Juliana said in a whiny voice, although she still leaned into Valentina’s chest.

“I don’t think that’s the right way to look at it, Juls,” Valentina retorted confidently, continuing to kick at the water gently with her feet like Juliana was the one giving  _ her _ a swimming lesson.

“And how should I be looking at it?” Juliana asked, her tone slightly distracted as she continued to run her hands with increasing intensity down Valentina’s back. 

Valentina tried to maintain her focus in spite of the touch, although she couldn’t deny her body’s response as she sat naked on top of Juliana. “There may be some things you don’t want to hear, but the book is also why you got blindfolded last night, and it’s also why I bought the strap-on for tonight. So I think, mi amor, you’re just going to have to take the good with the bad…”

“And whose idea was the lingerie then?” Juliana asked, Valentina’s brow quirking at the unexpected question.

“Mine…” Valentina said with a bashful smile. “I know that red’s your favorite color, and I figured as a designer, you’d appreciate the lace.”

“I appreciated  _ everything _ about that outfit, Val,” Juliana said simply as her fingers continued to dance across Valentina’s back, small prickles of sensation pulsing through her body with the touches.

And then, she felt one of Juliana’s arms snake around between them, her fingers brushing against Valentina’s nipple as she rolled the bud around between her fingertips. Valentina moaned at the unexpected touch as heat lapped through her body. “What are you doing?” Valentina asked, slightly breathy, already out of her own control.

“I was just  _ communicating _ how much I enjoyed your outfit,” Juliana grinned, continuing to stare at Valentina innocently like the act wasn’t remotely sexual.

“We’re not supposed to have sex until tonight,” Valentina pushed out, willing her mind to work. The idea of tempering her indulgent streak hadn’t sat well initially, but she wondered how much better it could be on the other side, how much more intense things would be when they crossed the finish line if she managed to a little restraint now. But as the seconds ticked by, the  _ if _ was becoming the most important obstacle.

Juliana stared at her, lips turned upward in a smirk. “You said we couldn’t come until tonight. You never said I couldn’t touch you. Or,” she paused for emphasis and lifted an eyebrow, “Are you afraid that you’ll take matters, literally, into your own hands, like you did last night?”

Heat shot to Valentina’s center as she absorbed Juliana’s words. Her description, coupled with her continued touches, caused Valentina to squirm on top of Juliana in a way that only made things worse. It had seemed simpler before in theory, when her body wasn’t coursing with want, when her judgment hadn’t been impaired by lust and the idea had seemed much more rooted in reality than fantasy. “I say lots of stupid things,” Valentina said, already working to backtrack from her previous request.

“Personally, I think it’s an excellent idea,” Juliana said as her finger continued to pull lightly at Valentina’s nipple, Juliana’s eyes wandering on the same path her fingers followed as she explored aimlessly.

Valentina was already so sensitive, her body aching for more. She knew it would lead nowhere fast if she caved and asked Juliana to touch her in the places she most desperately wanted, so she took in a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. “You do?” Valentina asked as she worked to focus her eyes again, to not get lost in the sensation of Juliana’s touch.

“I mean…seeing you all bothered is kinda fun…” Juliana didn’t look at her but continued the ministrations with her fingers.

Valentina scowled, surprised at the lack of control she already felt, annoyed considering it was her idea. “You seem so pleased with yourself.” Her words were light, but she began to dance her fingers from Juliana’s neck and down to her chest, stopping at her collarbone to run her index finger across the slightly protruding bone. “I thought we’d try to behave and that would be enough, but now I feel like you want it to be a competition, mi amor.” 

Valentina forgot her own desire for a moment as Juliana’s back arched into the touch, her lips parting slightly before she spoke. “This feels unfair because I know you’re starting at a disadvantage, Val. You do so many things well, but I don’t know that self-restraint is one of them…” Juliana’s words were challenging, but her voice was breathy, her eyes slightly lidded.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said as she began to run her hand down Juliana’s chest. She followed the curve of her breast, stopping near her heart as her fingers tapped rhythmically against Juliana’s skin, working to keep tempo with the slightly uneven cadence. “Are you really implying that me not being able to keep my hands off you is a bad thing? And how quickly you’ve already forgotten waking me up last night…” Valentina teased, working to keep the hunger from seeping into her voice. Making Juliana feel good made  _ her _ feel good, and she drew her lip into her mouth to keep herself from saying something to further ignite her own want.

Faster than Valentina was prepared for, Juliana’s head dipped low and captured her other nipple into her mouth, alternating between gentle sucks and playful nips against the bud. Valentina moaned in response, her hand sliding back up to Juliana’s neck to push her in closer, to try and get Juliana to take more. She tried to push her body down, but it was futile, the water resisting her desire to be closer, to grind her hips down against Juliana in a way she couldn’t ever get enough of.

Juliana laughed against her chest, a low, heady sound that caused Valentina’s stomach to drop low, a persistent awareness taking up residence in her core. With a small  _ pop _ , Juliana removed her lips at the same time she removed her hand, Valentina’s chest leaning in with the loss of contact, searching for Juliana’s touch but only finding the warm morning air.

“Mi amor,” Juliana said as she brought her hands to Valentina’s sides and ran them up and down gently. “I want to get those sketches done, so I’m going to head inside...” 

Juliana slid out from under her, covering the distance across the jacuzzi surprisingly fast, already out of the water and wrapping a towel around herself once Valentina processed what had happened. And just like that, Valentina’s anchor disappeared, her body working to make sense of the change, missing Juliana’s hands and thighs against her body as she floated in the water.

“Are you kidding me, Juls?” Valentina whined in frustration as she splashed at the water with her hand, small droplets bouncing onto the concrete above the jacuzzi, none big enough to reach where Juliana had found safety out of Valentina’s grasp.

“You do seem very concerned with my education, Val. You wouldn’t want me to fall behind or miss a great opportunity?” Juliana questioned simply, like she wasn’t trying to torture Valentina right now.

Valentina stood up to her full height in the water, alternating from side to side as she bit the inside of her cheeks, working to not say something she might regret. She leveled a stare at the obviously amused Juliana, giving the woman a few moments to bask in what she’d thought was clearly a win. “Sounds great, mi amor,” Valentina said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. “I got some new clothes this week, so I was going to try those on anyway. Perfect timing.” 

She smiled brightly as she waded through the water toward the steps, absolutely loving the scowl working itself across Juliana’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love you all and want you to have nice things, ya know?
> 
> So the book thing is 100% exploring how when Valentina was confused initially, she was doing adorable little Google searches about "love between women" because I'm not over that.
> 
> The song for this chapter is Sexual Healing by Kygo, so definitely perfect for playing around in the water and torturing one another. Full playlist here: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R
> 
> I have been listening to the "This Lesbian Shit is Intense" podcast, and it's been bringing back all the feels (not that they were ever really gone).


	22. Hurricane Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Am I allowed to show them to you?” Valentina said with sincerity, truly asking the question, her voice no longer laced with the teasing tone from moments before.
> 
> Juliana’s heart constricted, still amazed at Valentina’s thoughtfulness. Even when they were pushing one another, Valentina was always checking in, always making sure she didn’t go too far, didn’t make Juliana uncomfortable.
> 
> Valentina had always been this way with her, although in the beginning, she hadn’t realized it. How she worked within Juliana’s boundaries. Made sure she felt appreciated. Showed her that it was okay to want more from life.

Juliana wrapped her towel tightly around her body, needing a few extra moments to regain her composure, the barrier of cloth between them only slightly comforting given the pulses of want working through her body. Valentina, in typical Valentina fashion, decided not to wrap the towel around herself, dabbing it gingerly across her body as she continued to bask in the sunlight. 

She thought for a moment about asking her not to put on clothing, but given that was exactly what Valentina said she was going to do, she knew it would be a conceit, and Juliana wasn’t quite willing to do that yet. 

Why were they doing this to one another? And more surprisingly, why was Juliana completely on board with it? Her body already prickled with awareness, unable to take her gaze off of Valentina, her eyes following the contours of Valentina’s long, languid body as she wiped droplets of water from her perfect skin.

“See something you like?” Valentina asked, Juliana’s eyes shifting upward quickly to meet Valentina’s gaze, trained intensely on her. She’d been so lost in staring, she’d missed Valentina’s focus, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she pulled her own towel tighter.

“Just wondering what new clothing you got,” Juliana pushed out, working to come up with a plausible excuse. 

Valentina did have excellent taste in fashion, and she was genuinely curious about what she would show up in each time they saw one another. Juliana could wholly admit that with access to Valentina’s wardrobe, her style had elevated to a level she’d never expected, now wearing things she’d never even dreamt about before.

Along with all of the other amazing things that came along with being with a woman, their softness, their smell, their sensitivity, was the duplication of her wardrobe. Juliana secretly loved that Valentina liked to steal her clothing, too, more conspicuous because Valentina had access to any garment in the world, sometimes showing up to meet Juliana wearing a jacket she hadn’t noticed had gone missing, surprised at how it made her heart beat faster at the sight. 

“Am I allowed to show them to you?” Valentina said with sincerity, truly asking the question, her voice no longer laced with the teasing tone from moments before.

Juliana’s heart constricted, still amazed at Valentina’s thoughtfulness. Even when they were pushing one another, Valentina was always checking in, always making sure she didn’t go too far, didn’t make Juliana uncomfortable. 

Valentina had always been this way with her, although in the beginning, she hadn’t realized it. How she worked within Juliana’s boundaries. Made sure she felt appreciated. Showed her that it was okay to want more from life.

She still didn’t understand Valentina’s attention, but she felt so, so loved. She reminded herself each day to accept that love, to begin to believe that the rug wouldn’t be pulled from her at any moment. That Valentina wasn’t a mirage that would disappear when she moved close enough, when she let her guard down and accepted this was her reality now.

Not that Valentina wouldn’t be the death of her, which she absolutely would. She couldn’t get the thought of Valentina in the jacuzzi, sitting on top of her naked, out of her mind. Touching her had been wholly unplanned, her fingers and mouth moving before she’d really considered what she was doing, that she was escalating the situation when all she’d wanted to do was simply touch her, Juliana’s body reacting long before her mind had caught up.

“Yes, Val,” Juliana said as she moved toward the sliding glass door to head inside. “I really do want to work on these sketches.” She cocked her head to the side, remembering her promise to herself to be more open, to let Valentina in. “I want to get them right. It’s a big opportunity, and I don’t want to mess it up,” she continued, slightly embarrassed with how much she cared.

Valentina walked toward her, finally situating the towel around her own frame as she crossed the small distance between them. When she arrived in front of Juliana, she looked like a Greek goddess, her hair already drying in the sun, wild and loose around her shoulders, the brightness of the pristine white fabric of the towel contrasting against her skin. “I promise to be on my best behavior,” Valentina said as she ran a finger down Juliana’s arm, leading Juliana to believe that they had different interpretations of what  _ best _ meant in this situation.

Juliana laughed softly as her arms came up to wrap around Valentina’s slender frame. “I highly doubt that, but you pushing things has led to some great outcomes, so I can’t really be mad.”

Valentina’s eyes dropped to Juliana’s lips before shifting back up to make eye contact, Juliana’s heart beating faster in response. “And what are these great outcomes?” Valentina asked teasingly as she tightened her own hold around Juliana.

“Val…” Juliana whined, by far the most frequently repeating word in her vocabulary at this point.

As Valentina stared at her intently, she felt the weight of the moment between them, of Valentina’s body nestled against her own, of the warmth that flowed back and forth with the connection of their bodies. It wasn’t overtly sexual. It was full. Emotional. Juliana couldn’t pinpoint the change, but the mood had shifted, Valentina looking smaller in her arms.

“You’re going to be a famous designer one day, mi amor,” Valentina said with absolute certainty, like anything else wasn’t even a possibility. “I just hope you’ll still find me as charming then.” Juliana couldn’t comprehend for a moment how Valentina didn’t understand that she was the most fascinating, sexy, thoughtful creature in the world, but her vulnerability shone through with the comment. 

They hadn’t been able to spend as much time together with their school schedules, but Valentina was never far from her mind, always taking up space in a Valentina-shaped place in her heart, a place that couldn’t possibly ever hold someone else as perfectly as it held her, like she’d been waiting a lifetime for her to slip into it so seamlessly. 

“You have the attention of the world, mi amor. I’m just trying to keep up with you,” Juliana said sincerely as she ran a hand across Valentina’s exposed shoulder blade.

“I don’t want the world’s attention. I want  _ your _ attention,” Valentina pouted, Juliana surprised at the slightly whiny tone.

She worked to make sense of Valentina’s words, unable to comprehend the idea that Valentina thought that she somehow wasn’t enough. But she understood the feeling in reverse, and she wanted to do everything in her power to ensure that Valentina felt loved and appreciated, the same way Valentina made her feel.

Juliana slipped her finger from Valentina’s shoulder to her collarbone, pushing lightly against her skin. “I always think about you when I sketch,” she said quietly.

Valentina’s brow lifted, like she didn’t believe Juliana’s words. “You do?”

Juliana laughed gently, their bodies pushing into one another with the movement. “Yes. Honestly, I was shocked that I did so well on my presentation considering everything I make is specifically designed for you, whether I want it to be or not.” She felt Valentina’s arms tighten around her, emboldened to continue. “I mean, Val, do you not get how gorgeous you are? In so many ways beyond the physical, but seeing you naked has ruined any other body for me to use as a sketching template.”

“Mi amor,” Valentina said, slightly bashful and breathless as she burrowed her head into Juliana’s shoulder.

In the moment of Valentina’s uncertainty, Juliana had an idea. She’d always done better with gestures than words anyway, understanding that she could prove her point to Valentina in a way that her words could never articulate. Could never do justice. “Let’s go inside. I’ll show you.”

She gripped Valentina’s hand as she pulled her inside the house, clothes and dishes strewn about, magnified by the brightness of the room. She was generally a very tidy person, never having had enough to leave things haphazardly around. Her life was cataloged by the few items she’d kept, that she’d been able to take with her from place to place in spite of the constant uncertainty.

And now, during their intermittent getaways at the Valle house, she’d finally understood the feeling of sprawling, of growing to fit a space that was their own. Unworried about sharing a bed with her mother or living with a stranger or having to pick up quickly and leave at a moment’s notice. It was comfort. Certainty. Stability. The Valle house with Valentina was all the things she’d never had, all the things she’d never understood she’d wanted. 

Or, maybe she’d subconsciously dreamt, but she’d never actively believed that they could be hers, that she’d ever feel comfortable enough to build a life around something when everything up until now had been so untenable, like sand constantly slipping through her fingers.

But if her life before was sand, Valentina was concrete. And for as scared as she was that she’d wake up one day and it would all be gone, Valentina had done everything to prove to her that that wasn’t the case. That Valentina was in it for the long haul, her words and emotion and gestures constantly reassuring Juliana that she wanted to be with her.

Even when they hadn’t been  _ together _ , when all of the craziness was happening, Valentina had to be forced to leave her side, had done everything when Juliana was kidnapped to ensure she got back safely, had oriented her entire life around Juliana to ensure that she was loved and happy.

How could she put that into words? Convey the weight of how much that meant to her? She’d never been good with words, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel the intensity of the emotion, threatening to split her open when she allowed herself to feel the love and adoration radiating from Valentina.

She led Valentina over to the sofa where she’d sat last night, their roles reversed in the light of a new day. “Sit,” she asked, a request more than a demand, their fingers still interlaced as she rubbed the back of Valentina’s knuckles with her thumb. Valentina complied, throwing herself down surprisingly gracefully on the plush sofa, her body sinking into the oversized pillows.

“I feel like I could fall asleep,” Valentina said lightly as she pushed her body further into the sofa and curled into herself. She slipped off her towel and threw it on the floor, her exposed skin still slightly pink from the sun and the heat of the jacuzzi.

“It’s okay if you do,” Juliana said in a soothing tone as she ran a finger across Valentina’s brow, working to keep the touch simple when she noticed the exhaustion on Valentina’s face. “It’s the weekend. We have nowhere to be and nothing to do. You should sleep if that’s what you want.” She smiled at Valentina, her heart constricting with the focused, albeit lidded, stare trained in her direction.

“I want to be with you,” Valentina said sleepily, a yawn escaping her pouty lips as she lifted her hand to cover her mouth, working to maintain eye contact.

Juliana absolutely adored how Valentina went from a teasing sex kitten to a sleepy ball of limbs from one second to the next, constantly ruled by her physical emotions. If Valentina had a feeling, she went with it, her body pulling her along in a way Juliana envied. Fifteen minutes ago, they’d been discussing how they were going to fuck one another, and now, Valentina laid sweetly on the sofa, her hand nestled under her cheek like a pillow, Juliana surprised at how compact she could make her long frame.

“I want to be with you, too,” Juliana said as she crossed the living room and entered the kitchen, picking up Valentina’s robe as she grabbed her own oversized shirt from this morning, haphazardly thrown on the floor. 

She quickly dropped her towel and shrugged the shirt over her frame before walking back toward the sofa. “Do you want to put your robe back on before you fall asleep?” she asked Valentina.

“Okay,” Valentina said sleepily as she lifted her body, like she was slightly drunk, although Juliana knew she hadn’t had a sip of alcohol in months. Juliana quickly wrapped the robe around Valentina’s body, not concerned with tying it since it didn’t seem that Valentina would be moving anytime soon. “Mi amor,” Valentina said sweetly as she reached her hand out, stopping as it connected with Juliana’s forearm. “Lay with me.”

Juliana’s smile broke into a lopsided grin, unable to resist Valentina’s sleepy plea for even a second. “Scoot over,” she breathed, nudging her knee against the sofa.

Valentina complied immediately, pushing as far back as the sofa would allow to make room. “I want to cuddle you,” Valentina said with a smile as she extended both of her arms, Juliana wondering for a moment how sleepy she actually was but unable to stop herself from submitting to Valentina’s request.

But as she slid onto the sofa next to Valentina, their bodies melding together, she immediately felt the comfort of her touch, a warmth bigger than just Valentina’s arms wrapping around her, holding her close. The undercurrent of desire was always there, but Valentina pulled her in tightly and snuggled her, Valentina’s chin pushing into the space where Juliana’s neck and shoulders connected. She felt Valentina take in a deep breath, her body already relaxed as Juliana eased into her. Valentina placed a surprisingly chaste kiss on her shoulder blade, a small sigh of happiness escaping both of them with the contact.

“Now you’re my stuffed animal,” Valentina said sleepily, breathing lightly against Juliana’s neck, no hint of wanting to push things further although Juliana’s stomach tensed with their closeness.

For as many things as they’d gone through together, having the chance to indulge in a midday nap hadn’t been one of them. And even without Valentina, it hadn’t been something Juliana’s life had permitted, always on guard, sleeping in the middle of the day decadent in a way she couldn’t imagine.

She eased into Valentina’s body, her shoulders relaxing as she melted into her. It felt so good, Valentina’s arms wrapped around her, their bodies connected from their intertwined feet up to  their heads, Valentina’s breath pushing softly against her ear. 

A wave of calmness washed over her, unlike anything she’d ever felt before. Maybe it was her full stomach. Maybe it was the warmth of the sun. Maybe it was the protective way Valentina enveloped her. But she immediately grew drowsy, her focus on sketching and teasing Valentina pushed to the backburner as she basked in the moment, the tension dissipating from her body with each gentle exhale of Valentina’s even breaths against her neck.

She found Valentina’s hand, interlacing their fingers together before drawing them up to her chest. “I love you,” Juliana sighed, placing a light kiss on Valentina’s knuckle, Valentina already asleep against her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter if that's your thing! 
> 
> So, emotionally, this fic is all over the place, but I really do think that's how the two of them act together. Sexy then sweet then loving then supportive then insert any other possible emotion because they're probably feeling it in one another's presence. 
> 
> Sorry not sorry if you're getting emotional whiplash. :)
> 
> I started this scene fully intending for them to escalate things when they got inside, but just think about coming in from a hot tub and the sun, full belly, exhausted from the week and the night before. Confronted with a comfy couch and the one you love. How could Juliana resist? And I think, emotionally, allowing herself something as simple as a nap in the afternoon is a big step for her.
> 
> Full Spotify playlist: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R


	23. Confetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And if Valentina hadn’t known her so well, she might have believed her lack of response. She might have mistaken Juliana’s stillness for indifference or simple acknowledgment. But it was neither of those things. Juliana, still as a statue, was an animal blending into the scenery, understanding she was under the watchful gaze of a predator, doing everything possible to ensure she could formulate a plan before things escalated. To give herself the best chance of survival in the situation.
> 
> And in this situation, survival was not being bested by Valentina so soon, to not submit to Valentina’s words so quickly. Juliana took another breath, lighter this time, her eyes flicking from Valentina’s eyes to her lips and back up again before speaking. She relaxed the pencil between her fingers and began to sketch lightly, looking back down at her paper. “And that’s something you’d want?” Juliana asked casually, Valentina watching as her nimble fingers continued to draw lines across the page.

Valentina blinked once. Then twice. Then once more for good measure, her eyes adjusting slowly to the bright afternoon sun shining through the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. They must have fallen asleep, her mind orienting itself again, no idea how long she’d been lost in her dreams of hands and lips and bodies connecting, a new constant in her life since Juliana had come into it.

She’d never had dreams like that before they’d met, even her subconscious better able to fantasize now that she knew Juliana existed.  _ Everything _ was better. Strangely, Juliana was both an anchor and a catapult, her dreams going to new places, new imaginary whims, Juliana always the constant in them.

But for the second time today, she woke up alone, immediately pouting as she ran her fingers across the space where Juliana had gone to sleep with her on the sofa. She already missed her warmth, the contours of her body, the way her chest rose and fell against Valentina slowly with her even breaths. 

She opened her eyes fully, her breath catching in her throat as she stared across the room. Juliana had gotten up, but she wasn’t far, sitting in a tall, wingback chair about halfway between the sofa and the tall windows, one of her legs folded delicately beneath her, her hand moving quickly yet methodically against the sketch pad nestled in her lap.

Juliana looked toward her, noticing for the first time that Valentina had woken up, a blush working across her cheeks, like she’d been caught. “You’re not supposed to be moving,” Juliana chided, a small smile on her lips that dazed Valentina’s senses as she focused back on her sketch pad.

Valentina wiped her eyes to work the sleep away before stretching her arms above her, basking in the strain of her muscles, more relaxed after their mid-morning soak. She couldn’t hold back the smile that bloomed wild across her face, Juliana looking like a chaotic angel, Valentina not even the least bit concerned that the first thing she’d woken up to was a reprimand. Any words from Juliana’s lips sounded like a chorus of hallelujahs. She’d listen to her read the phone book all day just to hear the low, soft melody of her voice.

“Mi amor,” she said, running her fingers lazily against the fabric of the sofa, liking its slight coarseness underneath her finger tips. The world was a very tactile place, and she intended to engage with every bit of it, including the woman who sat across from her. 

At least when the time came, she reminded herself, thinking about her horribly impetuous idea from earlier that had taken on a life of its own, Juliana in control again as Valentina worked to keep up with the pace she’d been the one to set. “I guess if you really wanted me to stay still, you should have tied me up,” she said without a hint of embarrassment, like it was the only possible solution. She extended her arms in front of her, wrists turned upward submissively, eyes wide and unblinking.

Juliana stilled, her pencil pressed against the pad of paper, Valentina unsure if she was still breathing. She sure wasn’t, but Juliana always seemed to do better at controlling herself, something Valentina worked extremely hard to fight her on. Juliana looked up slowly, Valentina’s stomach dropping low with Juliana’s gaze trained on her. She licked her lips to keep more words from tumbling out, waiting to hear Juliana’s response.

Juliana’s eyes were slightly wide, one of her brows arched, her features fully in view as she continued to look toward Valentina. Her lips were parted, almost pursed in how close they remained to one another, like she struggled to find words. Valentina thought about how her tongue would just be able to slip between them if she was closer, how it would catch Juliana by surprise. And her fingers. Her goddamn fingers, clenched so tightly around her pencil that Valentina thought she might snap it in half, Juliana’s knuckles white with the force of the pressure.

And for Juliana Valdés, that was a lot of emotion, and Valentina saw it as plainly as the blue sky outside, but to the untrained observer and not the president of the Juliana Valdés worshipping club, it could easily be mistaken for simple notice, for acknowledgment that Valentina had spoken.

“Val,” Juliana breathed out in a long exhale, Valentina watching her chest rise and fall with the movement. Juliana remained completely still except for remembering to breathe, like she was working to maintain her composure, to not give anything away. 

And if Valentina hadn’t known her so well, she might have believed her lack of response. She might have mistaken Juliana’s stillness for indifference or simple acknowledgment. But it was neither of those things. Juliana, still as a statue, was an animal blending into the scenery, understanding she was under the watchful gaze of a predator, doing everything possible to ensure she could formulate a plan before things escalated. To give herself the best chance of survival in the situation.

And in this situation, survival was not being bested by Valentina so soon, to not submit to Valentina’s words so quickly. Juliana took another breath, lighter this time, her eyes flicking from Valentina’s eyes to her lips and back up again before speaking. She relaxed the pencil between her fingers and began to sketch lightly, looking back down at her paper. “And that’s something you’d want?” Juliana asked casually, Valentina watching as her nimble fingers continued to draw lines across the page.

Valentina moved her hand back down to the sofa and began her lazy circles against the fabric again. “It might be the only option,” she said with a slight shrug, staring toward Juliana. “What are you drawing?” she asked sweetly, changing the subject, although she schooled her gaze on Juliana again intently, watching for more signs. 

The little muscle in Juliana’s jaw, rippling under the pressure as she gritted her teeth. The faint blush, starting near her neck and wrapping gently around her face, the color blooming most prominently on the swell of her cheeks. Her finger, twitching against the side of her pencil as she continued to draw, her typically smooth motion slightly jerkier, less practiced than her normally smooth strokes. 

Valentina was surprised at how much work Juliana got done considering she never let her see her to it, but she loved this Juliana. Loved how her brow scrunched slightly together in focus and how she pulled her lip gently between her teeth while she worked. The strokes she made with her pencil. Sometimes long, dancing across the page. Sometimes quick and chaotic, almost haphazard, Every stroke of Juliana’s pencil against her sketch pad was death by a million paper cuts for Valentina, absorbing every movement like it was the air she breathed for life.

Valentina gave her sweetest smile, working to maintain a calmness that she didn’t really feel, wondering how Juliana did it. Valentina felt like every atom in her body was colliding, threatening to explode from her body until she was nothing more than little bits of confetti that would flutter to the ground in congratulations of Juliana besting her again, of successfully pushing Valentina to self-destruction.

Juliana shifted in her chair though, like she was trying to get comfortable after Valentina’s words. “My sketches for class,” she said without looking up, although she noticed Juliana’s finger twitch against her pencil again.

“Can I see them?” Valentina asked as she sat up, her untied robe falling carelessly, half of her chest exposed, although she didn’t mind. It had been an accident, but the way Juliana’s eyes flicked over to her told her that even if she hadn’t been staring as intently as Valentina, she’d been acutely aware of Valentina’s movements.

Juliana’s lips twitched, her focus shifting upward as she worked to keep them trained on Valentina’s face and not her chest. But a hunger pooled in her eyes that made Valentina bubble with want, the pressure inside her continuing to mount. “I don’t know, Val. That offer may have had an expiration date, and you chose to use your time to nap,” she said in a surprisingly flirty voice, cocking her head slightly to the side.

Valentina pouted, terrible at teasing even though she was the one who kept starting it. “Juls,” she whined, running her fingers through her long hair as she shifted back and forth on the sofa. “I thought you had something to show me, mi amor,” Valentina asked, breaking the heat in her voice. She genuinely wanted to know what Juliana had been more willing to show her when they’d first come inside, and she hated not getting what she wanted. “Plus, you should have stated those terms at the beginning,” Valentina negotiated, cocking her head to the side resolutely and mirroring Juliana’s.

Juliana stared at her intently, her eyes dropping down to Valentina’s exposed chest for a moment, like a moth to a flame. “You can come see if you keep your robe untied.” And then she bit her lip shyly, and it was the sexiest fucking thing Valentina had ever seen.

Heat whipped through Valentina’s body, coursing wildly through her veins, a dull throb settling in her center with Juliana’s words. She couldn’t explain what Juliana’s eyes did to her. How her keen focus and penetrating stare made her feel. And coupled with Juliana’s words, she was an absolute goner. She hoped Juliana was ready for a party because that confetti was about to be all over the room. 

“Mi, amor,” Valentina said, buying herself time to regain her composure. “You were the one who put the robe on me before we napped. I would have been glad to walk around naked the rest of the day,” she said with a smile, her voice slightly uneven.

Valentina stood up from the sofa, moving slowly, all of her gestures emphasized for Juliana’s benefit alone. She pulled her robe back across both shoulders, although it still hung loosely, Valentina incredibly compliant with Juliana’s request. She stretched for good measure, her hands high above her, standing on the tips of her toes to elongate her frame.

Juliana’s eyes followed her movements closely, Valentina’s body lighting up again in response as her gaze flicked across her body, although Juliana didn’t speak. 

“I’m walking over there now,” Valentina teased, although she stayed rooted in place, waiting for Juliana’s agreement.

“Okay,” Juliana eased out before continuing quickly. “But it’s not done yet.” Valentina was already halfway across the space with the acknowledgment that it was okay, the rest of the distance closed by the time Juliana had finished her thought.

“That’s fi-” Valentina’s words got stuck in her throat as she rounded behind Juliana, the sketchpad coming into view. There, in lines that made up so much more, was Valentina, sleeping on the sofa in a way she’d never seen herself. Had never known anyone else could see her. She took in the sketch, not speaking, trying to absorb herself through Juliana’s eyes, drawn into existence in a way that seemed more real than she had ever felt. 

“It’s not done,” Juliana said again as she moved to close the sketch book, but Valentina brought her hand down quickly and interlaced their fingers before she had the chance.

“I always forget how fast you are when you want something,” Juliana said jokingly, like she was trying to break the weight of the moment, trying, very unsuccessfully, to change the subject.

But Valentina couldn’t be distracted. She didn’t know if she could ever be distracted again. There are those moments in time when something happens, and everything is measured in the context of that moment and how everything changed. How it’s all different now. In Valentina’s life, those moments had typically been bad ones. The death of her mother. The loss of her father, for a time at least. And then, when she’d thought she’d lost Juliana. 

But now, the idea began to morph into something different, into something she didn’t fear but rather welcomed. The only time she’d ever felt something like this was when she’d met Juliana in the park, but even then, she hadn’t had the context to understand what it all meant. How important it was. Still reeling and struggling and battling against herself. But staring at the sketch, she knew everything was different now. That Juliana had so much more than words to show how she cared.

Valentina worked to take it all in. The long, round lines of her shoulders. The gentle curve of her lips, turned upward slightly in a smile, only halfway visible as Valentina’s cheek pushed into the a pillow in the drawing. An eyebrow, Valentina amazed that Juliana could capture the emotion of contentment in this way, everything about the picture oozing warmth and happiness and calmness in a way that Valentina didn’t feel most days.

“Is this really how you see me?” Valentina breathed, wondering how it could even be possible. How Juliana could capture everything Valentina wanted it to be and show it to her as if it was real, as if these things were a foregone conclusion in Juliana’s mind when she looked at her.

“Yes,” Juliana said quietly. “When you’re awake, you have this energy that’s so hard to capture, like you feel everything all at once. But when you sleep...” Juliana blushed, Valentina realizing this wasn’t the first time she’d watched her sleep, Juliana slightly unsure of her admission.

Valentina ran her hand down Juliana’s arm, now confident she wouldn’t try to close the sketch pad again. “Tell me.”

Juliana smiled, and although it wasn’t overly emphatic, there was a happiness shining through that made Valentina’s heart swell. “There’s this calmness, like you let go of the tension and the confusion and the worry, and you give into the moment in a way that’s so pure.”

Valentina understood in this moment that Juliana did see her. That she saw every emotion and opinion and experience that made Valentina  _ Valentina _ . That, somehow, she could synthesize all of those things into the simplest elements. Into who she was. Who she  _ wanted _ to be, more accurate than any mirror she’d ever stared into.

“I wish I could draw you…” Valentina finally responded, her voice slightly sad, overcome with the weight of Juliana’s drawing, knowing she could never reciprocate it.

“But you do?” Juliana said, like she was slightly confused, Valentina’s brows drawing together with her own confusion before Juliana continued. “You draw on my body with your hands. And you draw on my heart with your words. And you draw on my mind when you run around in it constantly. It means as much to me as any drawing I could ever make for you.” And then Juliana blushed, so deeply crimson with the weight of her words that it reminded Valentina of the most beautiful sunsets she’d ever seen, when the sky flamed red like it was on fire. 

“Mi amor,” Valentina said so seriously that Juliana’s head turned quickly to see if something was wrong. But Valentina’s face was soft, although her eyes were laced with hunger. She wanted to devour Juliana, to prove all the things she’d just said and never give her a reason to doubt anything ever again. “That was the sweetest, most adorable, most loving thing that anyone has ever said to me, and because of it, I think I really will need to be tied up if I’m going to make it until tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVE YOU ALLLL. So, I know I created this monster by posting so frequently, but I think expectation setting is important, and moving forward, I'll probably post about 2 updates a week since my life is getting busier. Will 100% post sooner if I have them done, but I should be able to commit to that.
> 
> I've been having a blast on Twitter with you all (@MonicaMcCallan If you want to get in on the fun!).
> 
> Thank you so, so much for your kind and supportive comments.


	24. 11 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then, Valentina did a small, tight turn, stopping as she faced away, her back almost completely exposed in the dress, material beginning again just below the dimples in her back.
> 
> God, she looked good. And in typical Valentina fashion, she pushed things further, lifting her hair and tilting her head over her shoulder so that she could still see Juliana. Juliana couldn’t tell if she was smirking or smiling, only one of the upturned edges of her lips visible with her profile view. And while Juliana wanted to make some witty retort, all she could do was stare at the long line of Valentina’s spine, at the smooth expanse of back that she’d touched so many times, that she’d never grow tired of touching.
> 
> “It’s a very nice dress,” Juliana leveled, working to remain focused and practical, a task growing harder as the moments ticked by.
> 
> “Do you think you could help me zip it?” Valentina’s asked innocently. She drew her bottom lip into her mouth, and now, it was Juliana who thought she was being led into a trap, unable to stop herself as sure as the planets orbited the sun.

Juliana was on fire and Valentina was the kindling, continually pushing her until she thought she’d break, her breathless words and carefree delivery more than Juliana could handle. And. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Valentina wanted to be tied up. To be at Juliana’s mercy. For Juliana to be completely in control, even if she doubted that would ever be possible. All Valentina needed to do was use her words. Her eyes. Her body. Valentina being unable to touch her did not for a moment mean that she became less dangerous. Less potent in how she impacted Juliana. 

And on top of all of it was how Valentina had looked at her when she’d seen the sketch. Juliana was trying to come to terms with the juxtaposition of Valentina’s sweet stare and her sinful words. Valentina Carvajal was both the angel and the devil, all wrapped up in one frustratingly seductive package. 

But the sweet proclamations seemed to be over as words had tumbled out of Valentina’s mouth that caused Juliana’s stomach to tighten, for heat to pool between her legs as she shifted slightly in her chair. She knew they’d both meant what they’d said. Every single word, but that didn’t mean that Valentina didn’t want to win, whatever winning even meant at this point.

When Juliana had woken up in Valentina’s arms, it had felt like she was exactly where she was meant to be. Valentina’s chin nestled into the crook of her neck. Valentina’s fingers resting gently on top of her stomach. Valentina’s feet, intertwined with her own like they were vines growing up a trellis together. 

But, she’d never been good at sitting with her feelings, at savoring moments until they’d passed. And whether it was a good decision or not, she’d wanted to capture it. To find some way to hold onto the feeling of laying in Valentina’s arms forever and the safety she felt, to trap it like a lightning bug in a jar and keep it in her room, a small flicker in the darkness, a light to guide the way home.

Juliana finally shook her head back and forth, running her finger soothingly across her sketchpad. She didn’t dare look at Valentina, worried that she’d break. Crumble. Combust. Ignite. Whatever word was used, it always ended with Juliana beyond herself, moving past a point of no return. 

She took a deep breath, tracing the contours of the Valentina in the drawing, the same one that stared over her shoulder right now. Juliana could feel the intensity of that stare, could feel how Valentina’s eyes roamed across her shoulders and down her arm and to her hands as she followed the line of Juliana’s fingers.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said teasingly, her words breathy and light. “You don’t have to touch the picture when you have the real thing in front of you.”

And just like that, Juliana snapped back to this thing between them, this push and pull and wanton desire to escalate the moment. To see who could make the other break. And Juliana Valdes hated being bested. 

She turned her head slightly upward to see Valentina’s face and cleared her throat. “I really need to get these sketches done,” she sighed, slightly melodramatically as she continued to run her finger across the page. Valentina frowned before her lips morphed into a pout, sweet as sugar and twice as addictive as Juliana worked to keep her gaze trained on Valentina’s eyes. “But,” she paused, waiting a few moments for dramatic effect, “maybe seeing your new clothes will give me inspiration. You do have the best taste…” The double entendre wasn’t lost on Juliana, and she licked her lips reflexively, Valentina’s gaze dropping to her mouth at the gesture.

Valentina’s eyes popped open wider, clear she understood the implication in the words as well. She pursed her lips, like the thought maybe she was being led into some kind of trap, but she didn’t argue, didn’t refuse Juliana’s request.

“Happy to help,” Valentina said as she moved around the chair, her voice laced with want and frustration, her hips jutted out slightly in front of her. She placed her hands on her hips and stared at Juliana for a few, long beats before she turned on her heel and wandered out of the room.

With the brief respite the safety of space provided, Juliana let out a long exhale, her fingers still itching as she resisted the urge to reach out and touch the space where Valentina had been, wanting to run her fingers down where the long plane of her stomach used to be enticingly within reach.  

She’d never known want like this until Valentina, had never been so beyond her own reason and practicality. Running into shootouts and standing up to her mother had felt intense at the time, but the hardest she had to fight was when Valentina stood right in front of her, when it took every ounce of resolve to keep her hands to herself. Whether they’d been together or not. Fighting or not. It was always there, a persistent ache that never abated. She still didn’t understand how it was possible. 

Juliana shook her head back and forth slightly at the absurdity of her life. How Valentina had slipped in so seamlessly, it was like she’d been made of water that filled a glass to the very top, the tension always rippling hard across the surface as it threatened to spill over. 

And as she looked up, lost in her daydream, the source of her wildest fantasies stood in front of her. Juliana’s mouth went dry, like all the air had been sucked from the room. Valentina stood next to the sofa, her lips turned slightly upward in a smirk, her hair falling wild and loose around her shoulders. 

Juliana followed the lines of the red dress with her eyes, from the plunging neckline in the center to the asymmetrical cut of the hem, one of Valentina’s thighs almost completely exposed, her leg jutting out to accentuate the contours. It reminded Juliana of another dress that one of them had worn, when things had been different between them, when Valentina, she now understood, had been looking at Juliana in the same way she stared back at her right now, trying to take everything in but failing miserably. 

“Do you like it?” Valentina asked, clearly knowing the answer as her smirk deepened, her eyes light and playful. Pleased with herself in a way that made Juliana’s stomach clench and strain beneath her skin and bone, deep and consuming as it radiated outward. It was the same look Valentina had when she made Juliana come, almost like Valentina was surprised at her ability to do it but wanting nothing more than to do it again and again and again. And Juliana could say she unequivocally felt the same.

“Seems like you’ve really found your color,” Juliana answered, working to keep her breathing even and calm, to tempo the haphazard lilt she felt threatening to push out. In spite of the strain. In spite of the want. In spite of the hunger percolating below the surface.

Valentina’s gaze flicked down to Juliana’s lips before traveling slowly back up to her eyes. “Or that I’ve found your color,” Valentina said with a light laugh, quirking an eyebrow as she ran her hands across the smooth fabric. “Asymmetrical cuts are very in, you know,” she continued matter-of-factly, breaking her gaze to look down at the dress.

And then, Valentina did a small, tight turn, stopping as she faced away, her back almost completely exposed in the dress, material beginning again just below the dimples in her back. 

God, she looked good. And in typical Valentina fashion, she pushed things further, lifting her hair and tilting her head over her shoulder so that she could still see Juliana. Juliana couldn’t tell if she was smirking or smiling, only one of the upturned edges of her lips visible with her profile view. And while Juliana wanted to make some witty retort, all she could do was stare at the long line of Valentina’s spine, at the smooth expanse of back that she’d touched so many times, that she’d never grow tired of touching.

“It’s a very nice dress,” Juliana leveled, working to remain focused and practical, a task growing harder as the moments ticked by.

“Do you think you could help me zip it?” Valentina’s asked innocently. She drew her bottom lip into her mouth, and now, it was Juliana who thought she was being led into a trap, unable to stop herself as sure as the planets orbited the sun.

“Really?” Juliana asked, raising an eyebrow and attempting to keep herself rooted in place from the safety of her chair. A place where Valentina couldn’t easily straddle her. Couldn’t easily touch her. Couldn’t do all the things that made Juliana lose her resolve in a heartbeat. 

“Yes, really.” Valentina said sweetly, turning her face just a bit farther so that she could fully level her gaze at her. “Mi amor?” she pushed again, tilting her chin down toward her dress.

Juliana’s heart thrummed erratically in her chest, and she ran her palms down her thighs in a vain attempt to self-soothe and maintain some sense of control. But all that did was make her think about Valentina’s hands on her thighs. How her long fingers danced across Juliana’s body like a gifted pianist. Like Juliana’s body was made from ivory, Valentina’s fingers pulling sounds from Juliana she’d never known were possible

“Fuck,” Juliana muttered as her center began to throb, Valentina’s eyes trained on her immediately with the sound. She ran her palms down her thighs one last time as she stood up and crossed the room in a few long strides.

She arrived in front of her as Valentina dropped her hands down to her sides, her hair cascading across her back in a way Juliana loved to watch.

_ But she had a mission right now _ , she reminded herself. 

Cautiously, she lifted her hands to Valentina’s body, brushing her hair to the side, remembering the night Juliana had truly realized things were different between them, the night she’d done the same thing. She hadn’t accepted it as a possibility then, but she’d finally acknowledged her want, her desire to be closer to Valentina in a way she’d never felt before. 

Valentina let out a small sigh, her head tilting slightly to the side as she leaned in to the touch. Juliana ran her hands up Valentina’s sides as she felt for the start of a zipper. 

“I don’t feel the zipper, Val,” Juliana said, scrunching her nose in concentration as she pushed her fingers in slightly harder against a seam, Valentina’s skin and muscle soft beneath her fingers.

“There isn’t one. I just needed to get you to come over here.” Valentina’s voice was slightly breathy. Slightly embarrassed. Slightly pleased with herself. She continued to face away from Juliana, her words quieter than if they’d been talking face-to-face. “You can be very difficult sometimes,” Valentina continued, and Juliana knew she was smiling with her words.

Juliana felt tricked, but she couldn’t bring herself to remove her hands from Valentina’s body. Couldn’t stop touching her now that she’d started. She slipped her hands toward Valentina’s back, running them up and down the expanse of exposed skin, her knuckles dusting gently across her spine. Valentina shivered in response, a breathy moan escaping her lips with the contact.

And with the sound, Juliana realized that she didn’t need to beat herself, she only needed to beat Valentina. Charming, seductive Valentina. And most importantly, strong-headed but weak-willed Valentina. 

Juliana smirked as she continued to drag her fingers across Valentina’s back. She stood up straight, Valentina thrown slightly with the movement, her own body straightening in response although she still leaned into the touch. “Well, I’m here,” Juliana smirked as she moved her hands up to Valentina’s shoulders, “What did you need?”

Valentina’s head shifted to the side. “I mostly needed you to touch me. I hadn’t really thought about it beyond that,” she said, like she was slightly embarrassed at her lack of planning.

Juliana felt the weight of the moment growing between them, the delicious friction that had been building as the day wore on. She knew its inevitable conclusion, excited beyond measure, but also implored to continue pushing Valentina, to take things as far as they could go before then. To have Valentina nothing but a writhing mess beneath her when the time finally came. 

The unending wave of discussions and sex and vulnerability had left her more open than she’d thought possible, and she wanted to know that Valentina felt the same. That they were on the same page.

Juliana rested her hands lightly on Valentina’s shoulders for a moment before she dragged her nails down her arms, stopping at her elbows and resting her fingers against the crevice there, applying the faintest amount of pressure. She pulled Valentina’s arms back toward her slightly, waiting for any sign of resistance. But she found none, emboldened to continue as Valentina allowed her body to be moved easily.

Valentina took in a sharp breath, her whole body shifting although she tried to remain still. “You want to be touched?” Juliana asked casually as she slid her hands down further. She ran them across Valentina’s forearms next, the muscles rippling against the touch, Valentina’s head tilting back slightly.

“Yes,” Valentina breathed out, Juliana wishing she could see her face in this moment. 

Juliana slid her hands the rest of the way down Valentina’s arms, her fingers encircling Valentina’s wrists, pulling them slightly back behind her and toward Juliana’s body. Valentina let out a quiet moan unlike anything Juliana had ever heard before, her own stomach coiling with anticipation at the sound.

“Maybe your first one-word answer ever, mi amor. I’m impressed,” she teased as she pulled Valentina’s hands back slightly harder, Valentina’s shoulders flexing with the pressure. “So, I have to assume now that wasn’t another blindfold I saw in the box last night?” Juliana asked, working to keep her voice as normal as possible in spite of the growing heat, the deep throb beginning to build in her center as she imagined the idea.

“No,” Valentina pushed out, her voice high and breathless already, although she kept her body firmly rooted in place.

“Aren’t you a fast learner,” Juliana said as she leaned forward, Valentina’s hands still clasped between her own, and placed a delicate kiss on her shoulder blade. She waited a few seconds, no other sounds in the room except the uneven tempo of their breathing, before placing a kiss on Valentina’s other shoulder blade.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said again, like a whispered prayer. Like she was seconds away from begging. Juliana couldn’t get enough, more turned on by Valentina’s want than she knew what to do with.

“Tell me what you want,” Juliana urged as she placed another kiss on her shoulder and pulled Valentina’s arms back toward her, Valentina’s knuckles dusting across the hem of her shirt. She desperately wanted to pull Valentina’s a little nearer, to push her own body a little closer, but she knew the small amount of resolve she still had would fail if Valentina touched her. If she began to work against her with her light, dextrous fingers.

And Valentina seemed to know that about herself considering she was the one who asked to be restrained, Juliana’s body tensing when she thought about the possibility, of her request as it related to Valentina’s lack of control in Juliana’s presence.

Juliana calmed herself for a moment, plucking every ounce of resolve and strength she could muster from the deepest reaches of her body before she spoke, lessening her hold around Valentina’s wrists. “I need you to tell me. I need to make sure this is what you want.” She thought about what she’d been through. What they’d both been through. And she needed to know that Valentina wanted this. Wanted to give up her own control in this way. Juliana would take the responsibility of it more seriously than anything she’d done in her life, but she needed Valentina to say it.

Valentina turned quickly, so close their chests brushing together, Juliana acutely aware of the ache in her nipples as Valentina’s exposed body almost pressed against hers. And then, Valentina lifted her hands up, cupping Juliana’s face with her hands. “There is no one I trust more in this world than you, mi amor,” she said as she placed a light kiss on Juliana’s nose before continuing. “So yes, I want you to tie me up. I want you to make me beg. But it’s not from a place of fear. It’s from a place of love. Of want. Of adoration. I want you to know what you do to me. And I want to know what it’s like to not give into myself so quickly because, let’s be honest, I can’t really control myself around you.” She looked shy for a moment, drawing her lip into her mouth. “So I need  _ you _ to control me for the both of us. Is that something you’re okay with doing?”

Valentina looked slightly unsure, bouncing gently from foot to foot as she held Juliana’s face in her hands, awaiting an answer, Juliana loving her for so many reasons, including that she’d be okay if Juliana said no, that Valentina would respect her wishes and boundaries completely. 

Juliana bit her lip, like she was considering the words, although she already knew her answer. “Upstairs. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! 
> 
> Supper bummed (it seems?) we lost the e-online poll. But I don't have enough hours in the day to write and vote, so maybe it's for the best!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this chapter.


	25. Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally, after what felt like a lifetime, she heard the patter of feet on the steps, the sound distinctly Juliana as she moved closer to the bedroom. Valentina couldn’t help but hold her breath, her body flexing on the bed although she tried to remain still, tried to maintain what little composure she could manage. Juliana rounded the doorway into the room seconds later, and Valentina’s whole body tightened with anticipation, with the soft, sweet look on Juliana’s face as she carried a tray of fruit into the room in on hand, a small bag in the other.
> 
> “I missed you,” Valentina said before she’d thought about it, the words as true as any she’d ever spoken.

What was it about Juliana that caused her to say these things? To do these things? In spite of everything Juliana had been through, she was the most grounding force Valentina had ever known, and she was attracted to her in a way she couldn’t explain. Attracted to her energy. Attracted to the lilt of her voice. Attracted to the smoothness of her movements. Juliana had every reason to be a completely different person, and yet here she stood, in front of Valentina in nothing but an oversized t-shirt, willing to comply with Valentina’s requests in a way that made her pulse quicken with Juliana’s sincerity.

She hadn’t known what she’d wanted until she’d met Juliana, hadn’t even considered sex as an exploration instead of an assumption. She still couldn’t quite wrap her mind around it, surprised at how long she’d managed to do the expected. Boyfriends. Parties. There was a certain allure to being wanted, but after long enough, it had grown hollow, her relationship with Lucho a placeholder to ensure that she didn’t have to entertain the attention of other men, didn’t have to try and muddle through why she didn’t feel that thing she was supposed to feel.

And now, it all made sense. It wasn’t them, that they were lacking, although some of them categorically were in the sense of positive partners, regardless of gender. It was  _ her _ . That she’d never cared enough to try. Had never been so out of her mind with want that she was willing to communicate, negotiate. She would have accepted completely if Juliana hadn’t wanted to do it, but she had to ask. She had to know in a way she’d never cared enough to know before. She had to move beyond her own introspection and put it out there, the idea of sitting with her feelings for even a moment longer impossible.

“Are you sure?” Valentina asked once more, drawing her lip between her teeth as she ran her fingers down Juliana’s arm, loving the warmth and smoothness.

Juliana quirked an eyebrow, her own lips blooming into a slight smirk. “How can I really argue with you when you tell me you want me so badly you can’t control yourself?” Juliana answered, a small blush tinging her cheeks that made Valentina’s stomach flip flop. “Go upstairs,” she continued with more heft in her voice. “I’ll be up soon.”

Valentina didn’t need to be told twice, but she couldn’t stop herself as she pulled Juliana’s face, still nestled into her hands, closer. She kissed her fervently, not knowing how long it would be until she was able to do it again, wondering how long they could last. 

She slid her tongue across Juliana’s lower lip, licking and nipping and begging for entry immediately, unwilling to wait. Juliana complied as Valentina’s tongue licked into her mouth, a desperate tug deep in her center, compelled to push forward. She slid her hands down Juliana’s shoulders and arms, finding her hips quickly as she pulled their bodies against one another.

Juliana let out a quiet moan that Valentina captured with her mouth, deepening the kiss as she pushed their bodies closer, her hips already seeking friction as they bucked against Juliana’s frame.

It was Juliana who broke the kiss first, separating their mouths as she took a few deep, even breaths. “Not really sticking to your guns here, are you?” she asked, slightly teasing, slightly in a daze.

“I can’t help it, mi amor,” Valentina answered simply. “And that is after all why you need to tie me up. I can’t control myself. We’ve already agreed on that.” She smirked, and with the last bit of resolve she could manage, she turned and moved towards the steps as she’d done before, only this time, the dress would be coming off.

She didn’t dare look back, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other as she moved through the rooms and up the steps. She already felt raw, like her nerve endings were no longer protected with skin, her body acutely aware of the air and the light and the sounds as she headed upstairs.

Valentina entered the bedroom, her only thoughts surrounding what she could do to make sure Juliana got as much out of this as she surely would, calmed by focusing on Juliana in the moment instead of her want as it sat heavy and unabated in her center, already aching with each simple step.

She didn’t know how much time she had, but she jumped in the shower quickly, rinsing the day from her body as she thought about Juliana’s hands touching her, about her excitement to hear footsteps on the stairs. 

She’d never been self-conscious, but the idea of being tied naked to the bed didn’t sit well with her, only because she wanted to give Juliana something to unwrap, a present for all of her hard work and diligent control. With no one else using the Valle house, she’d started to keep more here, making it a home of sorts as she’d slowly started filling the drawers with clothing for their weekends there, wanting their lives together to be as comfortable as possible.

But what she sought wasn’t in the drawer, and she walked over to the bags that had been dropped off earlier in the week after her shopping trip. She plucked the garment from the bag, satin instead of yesterday’s lace, small buttons adorning the front. Again, the red that she knew Juliana loved so much.

She smirked, quickly dropping her towel as she put it on and buttoned each button carefully, wondering what Juliana would think about it as she got dressed, hoping she’d like the gift of Valentina’s body as much as Valentina enjoyed giving it to her.

And then, she grabbed the two black satin ties from the box on a chair in the corner, staring for a moment at the other contents before making her way over to the bed. 

She had to admit, the Valle house had a lot going for it when it came to being the perfect love nest. Secluded. Well decorated. And most importantly, the bedroom they used had a wrought iron frame attached to the large bed, something Valentina had noticed when they’d first stayed here together for the night. Maybe that was what had put the idea in her head, already having used the frame before as her hands had sought its stability, holding on to it as Juliana had pushed against her in the quiet of the night.

She drew her lip into her mouth as she slid onto the bed, dropping the ties near the foot as she got comfortable. Her body thrummed with anticipation, her legs shifting against the silk sheets, rubbing gently against the texture as she waited for Juliana, waited for where the night would lead in a way that would be new to both of them. Another experience that fused them together in the tapestry they’d been sewing with one another.  

And finally, after what felt like a lifetime, she heard the patter of feet on the steps, the sound distinctly Juliana as she moved closer to the bedroom. Valentina couldn’t help but hold her breath, her body flexing on the bed although she tried to remain still, tried to maintain what little composure she could manage. Juliana rounded the doorway into the room seconds later, and Valentina’s whole body tightened with anticipation, with the soft, sweet look on Juliana’s face as she carried a tray of fruit into the room in on hand, a small bag in the other.

“I missed you,” Valentina said before she’d thought about it, the words as true as any she’d ever spoken.

Juliana let out a surprisingly sweet laugh considering what they were about to do before walking to the edge of the bed and placing the small tray on the end table. But there was a depth in her eyes that made Valentina squirm, and as Juliana turned those eyes on her, she felt a bubble in her chest, pushing outward as she willed herself to maintain her calm.

“I missed you, too,” Juliana said seriously. “I want to go rinse off, so I have a very important question.” She stood still still, leveling her gaze at Valentina as she waited for an answer.

Valentina sucked in a deep breath, her eyes blowing wide at even the simplest of phrases from Juliana, her body acutely aware and on fire as heat rushed through every synapse and vein and pore. “What’s that?” she asked as calmly as she could manage.

“Do you want to be tied up now. Or after?” The words hung between them, Juliana standing next to the bed although she made no move toward the silk ties clearly visible at the foot.

Valentina considered her options, but she knew that even if she didn’t go with Juliana to the shower, she’d follow her soon after, unable to resist the temptation of the siren’s song. Unable to stop herself. “N-now,” she said, her voice slightly uneven and unsure, the decision exceptionally difficult when confronted with the choice. 

Juliana moved toward the bottom of the bed and plucked the two smooth pieces of fabric from where they lay. So innocent. So unassuming. Their power in their context, not in their existence. They could be ties to hold curtains back on an especially sunny day. Or silk ribbons to put in hair as a sweet accessory. But they were neither of those things, and they both knew it.

Juliana took a few moments to play with the fabric, to slip them through her dexterous fingers, gliding as if they were made of sand. Valentina sat mesmerized, barely able to comprehend what was playing out in front of her, Juliana looking more comfortable than she’d ever expected. And then, with ties in hand, she walked back up toward Valentina before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Last chance,” Juliana said, a small smile blooming across her face as she lengthened one of the ties between her hands in an insanely sexy way, the other falling carelessly next to Valentina’s torso.

The end of the tie slid against Valentina’s abdomen as it fluttered against the bed, and it felt closer to a whip than a silken slip of fabric, her stomach clenching with anticipation. She couldn’t believe how much she wanted this, wanted Juliana to do this to her. “I’m ready,” Valentina said breathlessly as she reached her fingers out to stroke Juliana’s arm.

Juliana looked down at Valentina’s hands for a moment. “Do you…” Her eyes slipped across Valentina’s body before settling on her face. “Do you want them tied in front of you or-”

“The bed frame,” Valentina said quickly, embarrassed at the speed with which her answer came. She dragged her fingers away from Juliana’s arm to extend her hand upward against the headboard situated behind her.

“You’re really not trying to do your body any favors this weekend,” Juliana said with a light laugh.

“I have the utmost confidence it will be worth it. And besides, bodies heal,” she said with a simple shrug, staring at Juliana as she moved her legs slightly against the bed, unable to get enough of every sensation available to her.

And then, Juliana moved quickly, sliding completely onto the bed and straddling Valentina before she’d processed the movement. She felt Juliana’s body pressed down against hers, immediately angry at herself that she’d ever put on clothes, wishing she could feel their naked bodies against one another. 

Without speaking, Juliana moved slowly toward where Valentina’s hand remained situated near the frame, taking her time as the silk tie fluttered with the movement. Juliana slid her finger against Valentina’s wrist as she pushed her hand against the headboard, light but focused in a way that made sweat spring up on Valentina’s back with even this simple touch.

“Let me know if it’s too tight,” Juliana said, taking her eyes away from their focus toward the wall for a moment as she stared down at Valentina. 

A flush bloomed across Valentina’s cheeks, and she pulled her lip between her teeth to keep a moan from escaping. She was already so ready for what was happening, almost embarrassed at her quick and consuming arousal. “I will,” she said as she cleared her throat, working to keep her body calm, to stop fidgeting against Juliana as she worked to find friction against her body.

As the silk tightened around her wrist, she let out a soft, involuntary sigh. Juliana looked down at her, eyes heavy with want, a smirk tugging at her full, perfect lips. “Enjoying yourself?” she asked as she dropped her own hands now that Valentina’s was securely fastened to the frame. 

“Mi amor, you have no idea,” Valentina answered honestly.

Juliana plucked the other tie and reached her hand down to stroke against Valentina’s arm as it rested against the bed. Valentina felt like a marionette, completely willing to do whatever Juliana requested, wanting Juliana to have control over her, to do whatever she pleased with Valentina’s body. 

She allowed her arm to be raised up against the other side of the frame, the metal slightly cold against her skin, another acute awareness that she worked to make sense with all of the arousal rushing through her body. Juliana tied this one faster, securing it so that Valentina could still move slightly, although she’d be unable to untie herself. 

And then, Juliana leaned back, staring at each tie, almost as if she was admiring her handywork. A small, sincere smile settled across Juliana’s lips before she set her stare on Valentina. A deep, intense strain tugged within Valentina’s abdomen, acutely aware of everything happening right now, almost too much for her to handle as she considered that she was tied to the bed, Juliana was straddling her, and she was completely at her mercy for as long as it lasted.

As fast as she’d found her way on top of Valentina to tie her up, Juliana dismounted the bed gracefully and with surprising speed before Valentina could protest, which she was absolutely going to do. “Juls,” she breathed quickly, missing the feeling of Juliana on top of her.

Juliana gave her a smirk that was so sinfully wicked, Valentina began to wonder whose idea this had ever been in the first place. Juliana’s cheeks were slightly pink, her teeth white and sharp against her skin. And her eyes. Fuck, her eyes looked like they could devour Valentina, like they were trying to consume everything possible as she stared at her intently. “I need to shower,” Juliana said, her voice slightly raspy as she plucked casually at the hem of her t-shirt although made no move to take it off. “Are you gonna be okay here?” she asked, the intensity in her eyes calming but not abating.

“Do I have a choice?” Valentina laughed throatily as she felt the resistance of her wrists against the ties.

“You always have a choice, Val. If you don’t want to do this at any time, you can tell me, and we’ll stop. But from the way you keep writhing against the bed, it  _ seems _ like you still want to do this,” Juliana said simply, arching an eyebrow for emphasis.

“Take your shower and get your ass back here,” Valentina pushed out, her words heavy on her tongue.

Juliana turned on her heel without another word, wandering slowly toward the bathroom, Valentina watching her movements with an intensity she was thankful Juliana couldn’t see. And now, with Juliana out of sight, everything became even more intense, her awareness growing with each second she was restrained.

How the silk ties felt against her wrists. The prickle in her shoulders from how her arms arched slightly back from her body. How her legs felt when they brushed against one another, the only contact she could manage right now. And her center. Fuck. She felt a strong, steady thrum radiating from between her legs, unable to find any sense of comfort as she shifted back and forth on the bed. 

She sighed, working to meditate, to find a sense of balance as she tried to pass the agonizingly slow moments that Juliana was away from her. Juliana, thankfully, didn’t seem to want to torture her too much, the shower turning off only minutes after she’d heard it start. And once that happened, she snapped back to reality, almost laughing out loud that for a moment she’d thought she’d found some type of zen with how acutely aware she was of everything Juliana was doing, even though she couldn’t see her.

It took another few minutes, Valentina growing restless, wondering if Juliana had actually decided that torture was a better route, almost no sound coming from the bathroom.

And as Juliana finally stepped back into the bedroom, everything Valentina had thought she’d known came crashing down around her. Juliana stood in front of her wearing black underwear set, less lacy than Valentina’s had been, although the fabric moulded to her every contour, accentuating the swell of her breasts, the gentle curve of her hips, the smooth length of her thighs. Valentina’s stomach dropped low, wanting more than anything in the world for Juliana to come closer. To let her get a better look.

“It looks like we both had the same idea for the weekend,” Valentina smiled, unable to stop the heat working its way across her chest and around her neck.

“Val,” Juliana chided, almost like she was embarrassed at Valentina’s roaming gaze. At how her wrists pulled reflexively against the ties in a vain attempt to get closer, to cross the room and touch Juliana’s body.

“This isn’t fair. You didn’t tell me you’d be wearing  _ that _ ,” Valentina pouted, her eyes raking across the fabric and skin and muscle and every beautiful contour of Juliana’s face. She was mesmerized, unable to look away for even a second even though it tortured her to do so, knowing that she couldn’t touch her.

“Who said anything about fair?” Juliana said with a light laugh as she, after what felt like a lifetime, finally began walking across the room toward Valentina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keepin' with that slow burn theme, but that just means more chapters at the end of the day :)
> 
> Love you all, come hang with me on Twitter @MonicaMcCallan where I'm constantly talking about this fic!


	26. Bad Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know what I want…” Valentina leveled her big, expressive eyes in Juliana’s direction, and she almost caved right then. Valentina could go from seductive to sweet in a matter of seconds, and now she was playing up her innocence, a small frown working a crease across her brow, her eyes wide and unblinking.
> 
> “So, do you want a peach or grapes or something else?” Juliana asked, pulling her gaze away from Valentina’s.
> 
> “I want you. On top of me,” Valentina said as she did the cutest, most annoyed little kick with her feet against the end of the bed, like a child whining they didn’t get their way.

Juliana felt aware of everything. The floor, hard beneath her feet with each step. Her skin, dotted with goosebumps from the cool air resting on top of the hot heat burning inside of her. Her lungs, expanding and contracting as she willed her nervous excitement to abate.

Valentina wanted this. And more importantly, she wanted Juliana. There was no doubt of that in her mind now. No doubt that Valentina, sitting on the bed looking like the best gift she’d ever received, wanted to give herself over to her. To be completely at Juliana’s mercy. She wondered how long Valentina would last. And maybe, more importantly, how long she would last, an ache already building within her body, the intensity increasing as she finally reached the foot of the bed.

“I do seem to remember you being the one that said reciprocity was a great attribute in any relationship,” Juliana continued throatily, although she made no move to get closer.

Valentina scowled and let out the most adorable little puff of anger that made Juliana want to laugh. “Untie me, and I’ll show you just how  _ appreciative _ I am of that outfit.” 

Juliana’s lips twitched back and forth before she smirked, working to settle into her place of control. “I don’t think that was the plan, Val,” she said with an eyebrow raise.

“You at least need to come over here then…” Juliana could see Valentina pulling against the silk ties, like she was trying to do it casually, but Juliana saw the muscles of her forearms flexing as she moved her wrists.

“Are you hungry? You must be hungry,” Juliana said as she walked up to the end table and sat down gingerly on the bed next to Valentina’s torso, making sure not to touch her. “I, for one, am starving,” she said, plucking a piece of fruit from the tray and popping it into her mouth.

Valentina’s eyes focused on Juliana’s mouth, wet with fruit juice. Valentina didn’t speak, like she was transfixed by the site, like her eyes wanted to consume Juliana.

Juliana reached her hand slightly forward, Valentina still tracking her every move like a predator. When she moved close enough, Juliana ran her finger across Valentina’s lush lower lip, parting slightly from the top one as she pushed out a breathy sigh when Juliana’s fingers touched her.

“God, that feels good, mi amor,” Valentina said without a hint of embarrassment, like she hadn’t eaten in weeks and Juliana had just offered her a three course meal. Valentina ran her tongue across her bottom lip, but Juliana removed her finger before Valentina made contact with it. “Juls,” she whined, shifting her body against the bed as much as the ties would allow.

“Yes?” Juliana said, feigning confusion as she plucked another piece of fruit from the tray and popped it into her mouth. “Did you want some fruit?” 

“You know what I want…” Valentina leveled her big, expressive eyes in Juliana’s direction, and she almost caved right then. Valentina could go from seductive to sweet in a matter of seconds, and now she was playing up her innocence, a small frown working a crease across her brow, her eyes wide and unblinking.

“So, do you want a peach or grapes or something else?” Juliana asked, pulling her gaze away from Valentina’s.

“I want  _ you _ . On top of me,” Valentina said as she did the cutest, most annoyed little kick with her feet against the end of the bed, like a child whining they didn’t get their way.

Juliana couldn’t stop her stare as it travelled across Valentina’s body. Her long, smooth legs, the edges of today’s lingerie just grazing the tips of her thighs. Juliana wondered for a moment if Valentina was wearing underwear, knowing no good could come from following that path right now. The camisole was long, with buttons adorning the front that Juliana didn’t think were for aesthetics, realizing she could unbutton them one by one, to draw this out as long as she could.

And Valentina’s stare.  _ God _ . As her gaze met Valentina’s again, there was a depth there, more emotion than Juliana knew what to do with flashing across her perfectly symmetrical features. 

“How about a compromise?” Juliana asked, willing her voice to stay even and controlled.

“And what might that be?” Valentina quirked an eyebrow and smirked, although her legs still shifted uncomfortably on the bed underneath her, like she couldn’t find a good position.

No sense in dragging this out longer than it needed, especially given Juliana wasn’t convinced that Valentina wouldn’t find a way to slip out of the ties at any moment given all of her writhing against the bed. “I’ll sit on top of you, but I’m still going to feed you fruit.”

“And what’s my reward if I say yes?” Valentina asked immediately, licking her lips and staring at Juliana’s body.

Juliana let out a throaty, unexpected laugh. Valentina really was one of a kind. “Your reward,  _ mi amor _ , is the pleasure of my company and my body on top of yours.”

Valentina jutted her chin out and squinted her eyes, like she was very seriously considering Juliana’s words. “A compelling proposal. I still think we could do better on the terms, but you have me at a disadvantage right now. So I accept.” Valentina gave a resolute head nod for emphasis, almost like a genie granting a wish.

Juliana rolled her eyes at Valentina. “You’re completely ridiculous. You realize that right?” she said with another laugh, lighter this time, constantly in awe of how Valentina could switch between roles and emotions and ideas. Once Juliana was set on something, good or bad, it was pretty much all that propelled her forward.

But here was Valentina, tied to the bed, and Juliana still didn’t think she was in control. Still knew that even with Valentina unable to touch her, it in no way gave Juliana the upper hand in the situation. At least Valentina couldn’t touch  _ herself _ right now, which was an absolute necessity given what it had done to Juliana last night. 

“Mi amor, I can’t be held responsible for my actions where you’re involved. I just can’t,” Valentina finished with as much of a shrug as her position would allow, like it was the most obvious statement in the world.

Juliana grew curious at Valentina’s words, at an absoluteness that made Juliana’s heart beat faster as little flutters of awareness worked across her exposed skin. Like Valentina’s words were physically touching her body, floating across the space between them and absorbing through her hot skin to become a part of her.

Juliana moved as slowly as she could manage, putting her hands flush with the bed for traction, Valentina’s eyes following her every movement. She pulled a leg deftly up and slid her body over as she dropped it on the far side of Valentina from where she sat, using her strength to keep her body mostly elevated. But that didn’t matter because Valentina’s hips immediately jutted upward, working to connect at any point possible along their frames.

“Well, aren’t you just a charmer,” Juliana teased as she eased her other leg over so that it gently brushed against Valentina’s torso. She sat above her, although she was holding her own weight up with her thighs, unable to hide how impressed she was that Valentina had been able to do this for so long last night.

“I love the flattery, Juls, but it would mean so much more if you would move your hips down just a few inches.” Valentina bucked upward again as she leveled a stare at Juliana that made her want to fall apart on top of her, her own jaw clenching in response as she worked to resist the urge.

There was a slightly desperate look percolating behind Valentina’s deep blue eyes, and Juliana recognized it because she felt it within herself, felt the desire to push her body down hard against Valentina and roll her hips. It felt so natural, like those things that don’t need to be taught, that happen because of some primal instinct lodged deep within.

Once Juliana had discovered the desire, and discovered it with Valentina more importantly, everything had changed. It was like she’d been unlocked, and there was no going back from that. From the understanding. The want. The need to be close to her.

“When did you know?” Juliana asked before she realized the words had slipped out into the world, that she’d said them out loud and not inside her own head as she’d believed. She put her hand down against Valentina’s chest, above her heart, the thin fabric smooth and warm against Juliana’s palm.

“Know what?” Valentina asked breathlessly, eyes wide and glassy, her attention so trained on Juliana she thought she’d explode under her watchful stare.

“This,” Juliana said as she motioned between the two of them with her free hand, knowing Valentina would absolutely understand the implication in her words.

Valentina’s eyes fluttered closed for the briefest moment before she opened them again, almost like she was remembering back to when they’d met, to all the things that had happened between them that had led them to this point. “I think…” Valentina paused and chewed on her lower lip, drawing it into her mouth in a way that Juliana couldn’t look away from, and she licked her own lips reflexively in response. “It’s hard to really pinpoint something because it all just happened so naturally. And it had never been that natural with anyone before that I don’t know I completely understood what was happening.”

Juliana grew shy for a moment and plucked at the silk sheet with her fingertips, but she pushed the words out anyway, working to maintain eye contact. “I just didn’t know if it was maybe different for you. Since you’d had boyfriends before and things to compare it to,” she said as she dropped her body a little lower.

“God, mi amor,” Valentina said with a light laugh that caused her body to bounce gently against Juliana, “It was so different. I wanted to be with you all the time, even if I didn’t understand why at the beginning.”

Juliana understood that feeling perfectly, although it still felt insane to hear Valentina say it out loud. Juliana had taken buses and skipped work an done everything in her power to be around Valentina whenever the opportunity had presented itself, but that was less surprising because she hadn’t had friends. Hadn’t had a life in the city like Valentina had. “I understand that. I felt the same way,” she said as she began moving her hand on Valentina’s heart to draw lazy, slow patterns across the exposed skin above.

Valentina let out a deep exhale. “But for me, it was all different after Guille’s party.”

“How so?” Juliana asked, her lazy circles growing more emboldened with Valentina’s admissions. Although she would have likely given them freely, it felt like Juliana was coaxing them out of her, was encouraging Valentina to be honest and vulnerable in a way that she’d done with Juliana. In a way that mattered so much to her feeling seen and valued and loved.

Valentina laughed again, although her eyes stayed serious. “Mi, amor. Did you see yourself in that dress? I just…” Valentina sighed, like she was working to find the right words. “After I introduced you to my brother, and we walked into the party, it just felt like we were on a date. Except, it was still confusing because usually people try to woo me on dates, but I wanted to woo you. And I was so proud to be there with you and wanted to spend the whole night with you. And god...I got so annoyed when Sergio hit on you. It was jealousy, and I’m not usually a jealous person, so it took me a bit to figure out what was happening.”

“I never took that pill, you know.” Juliana let the words drop between them, her fingers stilling against Valentina’s chest. It hadn’t come up again, and with everything that had happened in the weeks after, it had become the least of the things they’d needed to discuss.

Valentina’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry I even tried to give it to you.” Valentina looked pained, almost embarrassed by what she’d done. “That’s just always how things had worked in my world. Drugs and alcohol helped people make choices they normally wouldn’t, and I wanted you to choose me. To stay with me. And that was really all I was thinking, but it was a stupid thought. I’m sorry, mi amor,” Valentina said, hanging her head.

“Val,” Juliana whined as she moved her hand to Valentina’s jaw. She ran her knuckles down her jawline and over to her chin before running her thumb across Valentina’s bottom lip. 

Valentina immediately bit against the tip of Juliana’s finger playfully with her teeth, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Does this mean you forgive me?” 

Juliana’s heart constricted as she stared down at Valentina, welcoming and kind and loving and everything she’d never known she’d been looking for. “There’s nothing to forgive, Val. That was a crazy time, and we were all just doing the best we could.”

A smile so sincere that Juliana felt it in her bones bloomed across Valentina’s face, and she took the opportunity of Juliana’s distraction to pull her thumb farther into her mouth and gently suck at the tip.

Juliana moaned, in spite of her best judgment, the action catching her by surprise as she melted into the touch. Valentina pushed her hips upward, their centers bumping together. Valentina moaned then too, the sound reverberating on Juliana’s fingertip as it worked through her body.

It was insane. That Valentina did this to her. That in their time together, the feelings had only grown more intense. That all Valentina had to do was touch an inch of her skin to be completely at her mercy, to want nothing more than to push her hips down hard against Valentina and show her just what she did to her.

And then, she realized, she could. With her finger still in Valentina’s mouth, she clenched her abs and gently rolled her body across Valentina’s, an even louder moan escaping both of their lips at the contact.

“If this is forgiveness, I think I need to fuck up more often,” Valentina said as her eyes went lidded, her lips parted as a flush wrapped across her neck.

“I wanted you to kiss me that night,” Juliana said, surprised at her honesty as the words popped out.

Valentina’s eyes went from lidded to sharp in an instant, the white of her teeth flashing bright with the new information. “Tell me more…”

“I was so confused, but it was because I was fighting myself. And I couldn’t believe that you’d feel the same way. For a lot of reasons. You’re just so magnetic. But you’re also flirty.” Juliana raised an eyebrow and Valentina smiled bashfully with the truth of the statement. “And I didn’t think it was possible that it could really be happening, and I already worried that it would mean more to me than it would to do. So I was terrified of it happening. And more terrified of it not happening.“

Valentina let out a light, flirty laugh and kissed the tip of Juliana’s finger. “I always knew there was a lot going on under the surface, Juls. I like this…” she said simply.

“Like what?” Juliana asked as she cocked her head to the side.

“You telling me things. Me telling you things. The way your body feels on top of mine. How I’m literally tied to the bed right now and at your mercy, but I’ve never felt safer.” Valentina sighed, and it was the sweetest sound in the whole world to Juliana’s ears. “I think people probably wait their whole lives to feel something like this. For something this beautiful and true. I just feel so lucky…”

Juliana felt tears springing up behind her eyes, and she blinked rapidly a few times to keep them at bay. Goddamn Valentina and her heartfelt proclamations of love that cracked Juliana open inside. For being able to take something kinky like being tied to a bed and make it sweet and loving and tender. There was so much emotion in her words, so much sincerity in her voice that it wrapped around Juliana’s body like a blanket, like she’d never need anything else to keep her warm.

Juliana slipped her finger from Valentina’s mouth. She ran it down her chin and across her neck and back to her chest where her other hand came up to meet it. She unbuttoned the top button of Valentina’s lingerie slowly, Valentina again tracking the movement with her eyes like it was the only thing in the world worth watching. 

“We’ve gotten a little off track,” Juliana said as she unbuttoned the second button and slid her hand against skin, the swell of Valentina’s breast visible against the bright red garment. 

She longed to bend down and kiss Valentina’s body, to gently suck at her skin and leave blooms across her fair complexion, like kids who carve their initials into trees, wanting the world to know their love. She felt so differently on the inside since Valentina had come into her life that it seemed strange that the outside didn’t match, that besides an elevated wardrobe now that she had access to Valentina’s clothing, no one on the street could likely tell the difference.

“Juls,” Valentina breathed as her finger encircled a nipple, Juliana unaware she’d even been doing it.

She smirked as her fingers gently pulled at the bud, her body trying to work against Juliana’s to increase the friction. She loved the impact she had on Valentina, how she responded so deeply to the simplest of touches. But she took her responsibility right now seriously, and she needed her to understand that. “I get the distinct impression you think you’ve been running the show so far, and that’s all about to change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all! Thank you for your kind words, and if you haven't seen it yet, Samzzie made me an awesome cover for my fic!
> 
> Check it out here: https://samzzie.tumblr.com/post/184587532594/i-made-this-edit-for-a-fanfic-author-you-gays
> 
>  
> 
> Song is Bad Blood by Nao. Full playlist here: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R


	27. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliana stared down at Valentina’s body as she spoke. “I’m taking my time exploring you. Do you have a problem with that?” Juliana asked as she dragged her finger hard down Valentina’s chest, the skin changing color with the slight pressure.
> 
> “It feels more like you’re trying to kill me,” Valentina admitted as she tried to pull her body toward Juliana, to push her hips upward as much as they would allow to find the friction she sought.
> 
> Juliana lifted her gaze and stared at Valentina with eyes so sincere she felt like her body was changing states of existence. “I don’t know...Judging from how hard you’re biting your lip, it kinda seems like you like it…”

Valentina was already growing desperate in the short time she’d been left without use of her hands. She yearned to run her fingers across the contours of Juliana’s body. To pepper kisses across Juliana’s skin. She wanted Juliana as desperate and ragged as she felt, wondering how it was possible for her to feel so out of control. So beyond herself in a way that made her want to shed her skin and metamorphose into something else, something that she couldn’t predict considering she’d never felt this beside herself with want.

“Mi amor,” Valentina pleaded as she tilted her head back, the bars cold against the small expanses of skin they touched. “I think I’ve made a mistake. I want to touch you.”

Juliana gave her an infuriatingly cocky grin and tilted her head to the side like she didn’t understand Valentina’s request. “And I want that, too. But that’s not what’s happening right now.”

Valentina groaned and shifted her legs against each other. The throbbing in her center was growing more persistent with Juliana on top of her. The sprawling awareness becoming a focused coil, her body too aware to find any sense of balance and calm with the emotions coursing through her. “Then what is happening?” Valentina pushed out as she licked her lips.

Juliana stared down at Valentina’s body as she spoke. “I’m taking my time exploring you. Do you have a problem with that?” Juliana asked as she dragged her finger hard down Valentina’s chest, the skin changing color with the slight pressure.

“It feels more like you’re trying to kill me,” Valentina admitted as she tried to pull her body toward Juliana, to push her hips upward as much as they would allow to find the friction she sought.

Juliana lifted her gaze and stared at Valentina with eyes so sincere she felt like her body was changing states of existence. “I don’t know...Judging from how hard you’re biting your lip, it kinda seems like you like it…”

Valentina’s body was so alive, so attuned to Juliana’s finger, still plucking at her sensitive nipple, Juliana’s thighs clenched just above her torso, as good as a million miles away for how they denied Valentina the friction she sought. “I honestly didn’t think you’d enjoy this so much,” Valentina purred as Juliana pulled on her nipple harder, her eyes fluttering closed in response to the overwhelming touch.

“Mi amor,” Juliana said, echoing Valentina’s favorite phrase back at her, “shouldn’t we both be having fun? Isn’t that the best part of being in this together? You didn’t think you got to have all the fun, did you?” Juliana stared at her with wide, unblinking eyes, the question not at all rhetorical.

“You’re right,” Valentina breathed, wanting more than anything for Juliana to continue touching her, to explore her body. “And you look very pretty when you’re right.” 

Valentina had said those words before, when she’d run to Juliana as soon as she’d been brave enough to break up with Lucho. When she’d finally stopped hiding behind expectations and fear, Juliana giving her the strength to go for what she really wanted. To go for  _ who _ she really wanted. And that was Juliana. Always and forever. For their whole lives. And after that, until the next time they met in the next life.

It was so simple yet so weighted, a strange balance of careening toward the edge of the universe but knowing their love couldn’t be contained anyway, expanding the only possibility for them, the same way Valentina’s chest exhaled with every breath she took to keep her alive. It was what people wrote songs about. Why wars were fought. Why she’d gone on live television to profess her love. It was inevitable. The longer she’d fought it, the more encompassing it had become. Giving into it wasn’t hard. Fighting it was the hard part. That’s what had taken her resolve when she’d become aware of her feelings. When she’d realized the magnitude of what was happening between them.

Juliana’s voice pulled her from inside her mind as Juliana’s fingers dragged down her torso, wishing she’d never put this lingerie on in the first place with the barrier of fabric between them. “I’m surprised at how agreeable you’ve become,” Juliana said as her fingers deftly plucked another button open on Valentina’s camisole. The edges shifted farther apart as skin almost to Valentina’s belly button became exposed.

Valentina bit the inside of her lip and considered her words. “Everything I am saying is true, but I am also willing to say almost anything right now to get you to touch me.”

Juliana slipped her fingers inside the fabric and against the skin of Valentina’s torso, her stomach clenching hard with the touch of Juliana’s fingers against her hot skin. “Then let’s start with what you wouldn’t say,” Juliana pushed as she dragged her fingers across Valentina’s stomach.

A breath of air escaped Valentina’s chest she’d been trying to hold in, her body vibrating harder against Juliana’s fingers in a way that caused a desperate tug to percolate in her center. “I would never say I don’t love you. And I would never say I won’t follow you to the ends of the earth. And I’d never say that I’m not so fucking proud to be with you.” She pushed the words out quickly, her sensitive body begging to be touched. Begging for Juliana to slip her fingers in between her legs, to alleviate the pressure that continued to build with every stare and breath and all of the minutia of human existence she’d taken for granted before she’d become aware that everything was an aphrodisiac. That everything Juliana did turned her on and caused the pull to grow stronger in Juliana’s presence.

Juliana slipped slightly lower on the bed and rolled her hips against Valentina’s torso, a moan escaping Valentina’s mouth at the unexpected contact. “Another A+ answer,” Juliana teased before popping the second to last button on Valentina’s lingerie.

“Baby,” Valentina breathed as Juliana placed a hand on each side of the bed, almost touching Valentina’s ribs but not quite. Juliana leaned forward, like she was moving in slow motion. She got close to Valentina’s face, so close, but she stopped when their lips were inches apart.

“You’re so sexy,” Juliana said before pushing slightly forward and biting down on Valentina’s lip as she rolled her hips down against Valentina below her.

Valentina’s whole body strained as she tried to maintain her composure, as she tried to stop from rutting her body upward against Juliana’s, already lifted again so that there was an inch of space between them “Juls,” she breathed out, unable to stop as her hands pulled at the silk ties, her wrists slightly sore, an ache beginning to build in her shoulders from being restrained that she strangely loved, that heightened everything in this moment between them.

“I’m allowed to kiss you, right?” Juliana asked as she pulled back. “That’s not against the rules?”

Valentina wanted to laugh at Juliana’s earnestness to see this through, at her willingness to commit to the plan they’d set in motion. “I think the rules are what we decide they are. We’re not supposed to come, although I can’t promise I won’t from you kissing me.”

Juliana’s eyes drew upward as a smile tugged at her lips. “You couldn’t…” she said, slightly surprised, slightly pleased with Valentina’s answer.

“I might. If you had any idea how I feel right now, you wouldn’t question the possibility.” Valentina lifted her hips upward while Juliana was lost in thought, pushing their centers together as hard as she could manage and rolling her body against her.

“Val,” Juliana breathed out as her hips reflexively moved against Valentina, following her motion to prolong the connection before Juliana moved her hips back down toward the bed and pinned Valentina hard between her own body and the mattress.

“Fuck,” Valentina pushed out as Juliana rolled her hips hard again, her already hungry body straining to feel more. “Please do that again.”

Whether because Juliana wanted to give her what she wanted or because she couldn’t stop herself, she rolled her body against Valentina again, a hot heat sprawling across her body as she worked to remember to breathe, to experience every feeling and sensation and touch.

Juliana leaned forward again and drew Valentina’s bottom lip between her teeth as she bit down gently again. Valentina’s whole body rolled with the sensual motion, Juliana’s meeting her as they began to grind in tandem.

She could see Juliana’s chest rising and falling with each successive roll of her hips, like she was losing control slightly, unable to stop herself as she continued pushing her body against Valentina’s, getting as much out of the sensation as Valentina given how she continued to roll against her.

“Mi amor,” Valentina panted against Juliana’s mouth as her stomach grew tight, as Juliana lifted one of her hands from the bed and found Valentina’s nipple again. Juliana dropped her head, and Valentina’s entire body tensed when she realized where she was headed.

Juliana’s lips encircled the small bud not receiving attention from her hand and gently pulled at it with her lips, the wet, hot sensation almost more than Valentina could bear. And when Juliana rolled her hips again, she thought she might come apart below her, the words she’d said only moments ago becoming more of a possibility with each passing second.

And then, like she’d imagined it, everything stopped at the same time. Juliana’s mouth lathing against her nipple. Juliana’s fingers, plucking at the other bud. And Juliana’s hips, stilling against the motion of Valentina’s body that continued to move in spite of the change.

Valentina’s eyes popped open wide and she moaned in frustration at how quickly everything had changed, at how her body was suddenly cast so adrift as Juliana stopped her ministrations. “Juls,” she all but screamed into the quiet room. “Why did you stop?” She knew her eyes were wild, that her breathing was ragged and uncoordinated.

Juliana stared at her with the sharpest eyes she’d ever seen, and she couldn’t stop the roll in her hips again. To feel her. To find the release that was becoming more desperate with each push and pull. Juliana’s gaze dropped to the last button on Valentina’s camisole, and she deftly plucked it open without speaking, without acknowledging the torture that she was so gloriously inflicting on Valentina below her.

Juliana’s fingers slid up and down both sides of the garment to push it to the sides, over and away so that they fell against the outsides of Valentina’s ribcage, her body now exposed from her neck to the small slip of underwear she wore.

A perfect brow arch from Juliana set her body aflutter again, and she took in a deep breath as she waited for Juliana to finally speak. “Hmmm,” Juliana murmured quietly as her fingers began to trace along the fabric of her underwear. “I kinda assumed you wouldn’t be wearing these…” she said, although she wasn’t speaking directly to Valentina, more like she was saying the words to herself like an internal monologue.

“We can take them off. I have terrible ideas,” Valentina responded immediately as she worked to push her hips up to meet Juliana’s hand.

“Do you think you can handle that?” Juliana asked quietly, her fingers running back and forth along the band, her eyes following the same pattern of her movements.

Valentina took a deep breath before speaking, knowing that she was playing with fire. “Can you?” Juliana’s eyes drew up to meet hers, and Valentina smirked at the slightly wide, slightly dazed look on them. Glad to know she wasn’t the only one feeling a bit out of sorts, although she had very little recourse if her words didn’t work.

“I know what you’re doing,” Juliana said as she dipped her fingers slightly beneath the waistband, although still too far away from where Valentina wanted her.

“Tell me what I’m doing, mi amor,” Valentina said as she worked to not tilt her head back and get lost in the sensation, willing her eyes to remain sharp and imposing toward Juliana.

“Why don’t you tell me,” Juliana said as she slipped her fingers back out and dragged one down the center of Valentina’s underwear, against her sensitive flesh, the fabric between Juliana’s finger and her body the worst obstacle she’d ever encountered.

Valentina’s breath drew in sharply with the sensation, and she heard a light, low chuckle escape Juliana’s lips. It was sweet and soft and for as angry as she was that Juliana wouldn’t give her what she wanted, the sound filled her like a balloon as her love and want and desire threatened to push out through her body from every pore. 

Valentina had to use the only tool she had in her arsenal right now. She took a deep breath and made sure Juliana was looking at her before speaking. “I want you to take them off because I want to feel you against me. I am about to explode with how tightly I am wound right now, and if I wasn’t tied up, those underwear would be in a ball on the floor, and I would have you pinned against this bed so hard that we’d disappear into the mattress.” Valentina tilted her head slightly to the side and stared at Juliana’s slightly open mouth. “So that’s what I’m doing. And I think the more important question is, what are you doing about it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all! I'll apologize for the slow updates, but I'll never apologize for the slow burn :)
> 
> Full playlist available here: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R


	28. Do I Wanna Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do you look so pleased with yourself?” Valentina asked, a rasp in her voice that forced another unintended roll from Juliana’s hips.
> 
> Juliana cocked her head to the side as she slid away from Valentina. “I’m giving you what you want.”
> 
> She could see the muscles in Valentina’s neck flex, could see how her abs clenched tightly with Juliana’s words. She loved Valentina’s physical response. Loved it to much she’d do anything to keep seeing it, even if it came at her own personal sacrifice for a few more minutes.

Juliana couldn’t stop the vibration that rolled through her body with Valentina’s words. God, her girlfriend was a force to be reckoned with. A flush spread across her body as she clenched her jaw and considered her next move. 

Give in? No. That wouldn’t do.

Drive Valentina absolutely mad as long as Juliana could keep it together? She nodded to herself. Yes. Much better idea.

“Why do you look so pleased with yourself?” Valentina asked, a rasp in her voice that forced another unintended roll from Juliana’s hips. 

Juliana cocked her head to the side as she slid away from Valentina. “I’m giving you what you want.”

She could see the muscles in Valentina’s neck flex, could see how her abs clenched tightly with Juliana’s words. She loved Valentina’s physical response. Loved it to much she’d do anything to keep seeing it, even if it came at her own personal sacrifice for a few more minutes.

She shifted her legs off Valentina and sat next to her on the bed near her knees. Her fingers skimmed upward across Valentina’s thighs, drawing another moan from Valentina’s lips, the muscles of her legs hard and tense under Juliana’s fingertips. The sensation felt amazing, like Valentina was already holding back so much, like she’d combust if Juliana finally touched her.

As she reached the band of Valentina’s underwear, she felt her take in another sharp breath, like she was preparing to not breathe again for as long as this took.  _ Good luck with that _ , Juliana thought to herself as a smile worked across her face.

Valentina’s eyes followed the movement of Juliana’s fingers, sharp but lidded, tracking her with a focus that made Juliana’s heart beat faster. That made her own center throb with anticipation at finally getting to touch her. It would feel good for both of them, the trick in holding back as long as she could.

But she’d never know unless she tried, and she wanted to give Valentina a good show. Wanted to push her so that when she finally came, she combusted into nothing more than vibrating molecules that could find their way back together in whatever shape made sense. That Valentina understood she could be whoever she wanted to be. Be  _ with _ anyone she wanted to be. That Juliana wanted to give her everything in the world, including the ability to shed their past mistakes like a snake shedding its skin and become whoever they wanted to be.  _ Together _ .

She shook the heavy thoughts from her mind as she plucked at the band of fabric, soft against her skin, Valentina’s body radiating out heat underneath that worked to push through the garment and infuse through Juliana’s entire body.

Slowly, she hooked her fingers into the band and pulled. Valentina lifted her ass to allow her to remove them faster, and Juliana couldn’t hold back the small laugh that bubbled with Valentina’s enthusiasm. “Seems like you still like this plan,” Juliana said as she worked the underwear down to Valentina’s knees.

When she looked up, she found Valentina staring at her again, her lips parted, her cheeks flushed. She drew her bottom lip into her mouth as she sighed, “Juls...” It wasn’t a whine. And it wasn’t a command. It was a request, Valentina’s voice so versatile that a single word could be said in so many different ways, that Valentina could say her name a million times and it could always convey something wildly specific, something that Juliana was so attuned to as the sound reverberated through her body with understanding.

“I know, baby,” Juliana said as she pulled the underwear the rest of the way down. She threw them in a ball next to the bed and refocused her eyes on Valentina, on the most beautiful woman she’d ever known, laying almost naked on the bed.

As excruciatingly slowly as she could manage, she shifted Valentina’s legs apart so that she could settle inside of them. Valentina complied immediately, although they were slightly shaky as she moved them on either side of Juliana’s hips, bent at the knee so Valentina’s feet rested close to Juliana’s ass. 

Juliana started at Valentina’s ankles, running her fingers up the smooth skin of her shins, enjoying how Valentina tensed yet melted into the touch simultaneously. When she got to her knees, she stilled her hands and pushed downward, Valentina’s feet pressing and flexing into the bed in response.

She leaned slightly forward so that she could run her palms down Valentina’s thighs, running her hands slowly toward where her legs met her hips. Valentina’s head had shifted back, her eyes lidded, her breathing slow. Juliana watched how her chest rose and fell, how her lips parted and closed with each inhale and exhale. It was hypnotic, Valentina’s body as it worked to find a sense of balance, a sense of calm amidst the chaos that Juliana’s hands were wreaking across every inch of skin her hands touched.

“I love you,” Juliana said as her fingers ghosted across Valentina’s center, hot and smooth and warming through Juliana’s body.

“I love you, too,” Valentina pushed out between sharp breaths, her stomach so tense that Juliana could see each individual abdominal muscle contrasted against her tight, fair skin.

“And I want to kiss you,” Juliana said as she skimmed her fingers across the skin just below Valentina’s belly button, tracing lazy patterns as Valentina squirmed below her. 

Valentina let out a soft, ragged laugh, her stomach pushing back against Juliana’s fingertips. “All I’m managing to do right now is breathe, so yes, let’s make that a challenge, too,” Valentina pushed out, her words choppy, her voice far away.

Juliana stilled her fingers and dragged them slightly downward. She bit the inside of her cheek and looked up toward Valentina, laying there like some tortured angel with her wings out wide, so beyond herself already but unwilling to relent. She considered her words for a few seconds longer before pushing them out into the space between them. “No, not here,” she said as she pushed forward and ran her fingers across Valentina’s trembling lips before cupping her jaw and making soothing circles with her fingers. 

Valentina’s brow furrowed as she panted lightly against Juliana’s finger, like understanding anything was almost impossible right now. “Wh-” Her eyes popped open wide, and she rolled her hips up toward Juliana above her. “You’re trying to kill me.”

All Juliana could do was lick her lips in response. “I want to taste you.”

“Yes,” Valentina said as her eyes flitted closed again, as her body tensed in preparation for what was about to happen next. “Please.”

Juliana complied immediately, removing her hand from Valentina’s jaw and scooting back on the bed so that she could bend down. She raked her eyes across Valentina’s body as she did, flushed with want in a way that made Juliana’s center tug hard beneath her muscle and skin, the pressure mounting in her own body with each passing second.

Not tasting Valentina was no longer an option, as the idea had already taken on a life of its own inside her head. She wanted to feel the heat. To taste the sweetness. To lick at Valentina’s wetness that she knew would be waiting for her, loving everything about the act. More than she’d ever thought possible. Maybe more than she loved anything except Valentina herself.

“Juls,” Valentina said from the top of the bed, eyes still closed, her name more like a plea this time than a request.

Juliana dropped her head down, almost flush with Valentina’s center. She drew in a breath, the scent intoxicating in a way that made her focus spin out as she got lost in it, as she forgot she hadn’t even started yet. And that when she did, she couldn’t get lost. She had to control herself for both their sakes.

Juliana let out a small groan that reverberated against Valentina, and both of their bodies tensed in response to even the smallest touch. She slipped her hands around Valentina’s thighs to brace them, Valentina’s legs already slightly shaky although she hadn’t even touched her yet.

Juliana moved forward and kissed Valentina’s hot skin before slipping her tongue out and licking gently into Valentina’s center. Valentina’s legs spasmed with the touch, and Juliana couldn't stop the hot pleasure that sprawled across her body with the simple action.

“God, Val,” she mumbled against Valentina’s skin before licking again, the heat and wetness welcoming and immediately consuming as the feeling engulfed her. She loved Valentina like this. Open and vulnerable and Juliana’s to take. Or to have. Or to worship. Whatever she called it, she loved everything about it, and she already didn’t know if she could stop herself once she got started.

“Mi amor,” Valentina panted from the top of the bed, her head thrown back as her chest rose and fell as Juliana continued to lick slowly, to explore the welcoming tightness that filled her senses.

Juliana flattened her tongue against Valentina and gave a long, purposeful stroke up her center, stopping just short of her clit. Valentina moaned in response and opened her eyes to stare down at Juliana. It was the hottest, most loving thing, and Juliana squirmed with the wetness pooling between her own legs as Valentina’s gaze remained trained on her. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Valentina’s, both of them watching one another as Juliana gave another lick and watched emotion dance across Valentina’s features, watched as she bit her lip and continued to stare at Juliana like she never wanted to look at anything else again.

“I like when you watch me,” Juliana said, surprised at the fact as it rolled from her mouth.

“God,” Valentina said as she threw her arm against her forehead. “That’s a good thing because I really, really like watching you, mi amor. Your tongue feels so good. I don’t know how much longer I can last.” 

Valentina’s admission drew Juliana back to reality, although she felt the same. It took all of her resolve not to shift her tongue a little higher, to wrap her lips around the sensitive bud of Valentina’s clit and suck gently as she pulled an orgasm from Valentina’s body that she knew would leave her breathless and panting. Juliana wanted that more than she could explain, but this was a means to an end, and this wasn’t the end.

“Are you ready?” Juliana asked with all of the composure she could muster, with every ounce of willpower she possessed as she shifted her head back from Valentina’s center.

“Ready?” Valentina asked dreamily, like she no longer knew what planet she was on, let alone what they were talking about.

Juliana found the hand laying at Valentina’s side, and she interlaced their fingers to get her attention. Valentina stared down at her with lidded eyes, and Juliana couldn’t look away. Couldn’t understand anything was real except for Valentina. Except for this moment between them.

“Ready to use the strap-on?” Juliana asked questioningly, her brow drawing upward before her gaze flicked over to the box that had been situated on the chair since last night.

Valentina took in a sharp breath as her gaze followed Juliana’s, like she’d forgotten what this was all building toward even though she’d been the one who’d planned it. “Right…” Valentina seemed so dazed, although she sharpened her stare. “Yes. I’m ready.”

Juliana bit her lip as she turned toward Valentina again and ran her fingers against the plane of her stomach. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Valentina breathed. “But I don’t want to be tied up for it. I want to touch you.” She stilled and stared at Juliana intently. “I  _ need _ to be able to touch you.”

“Is that so?” Juliana asked as she pushed her fingers harder against Valentina’s stomach and dragged them lower.

Valentina nodded and pulled against the ties as she bit her lip. “Please. I can’t imagine not feeling you right now.”

Juliana stared at her suspiciously as she lifted her hand toward one of the ties before stopping. “Are you going to jump me?” She smirked as she held herself in place, hovering above Valentina’s body, her chest inches away from Valentina’s face.

“I promise that I will try my best not to.”

Without speaking, Juliana began to unfasten one of the ties, easier than she’d thought given how Valentina had been pulling against them until now. As soon as the fabric dropped, Valentina’s arm pushed forward and she ran her hand down Juliana’s side, pushing hungrily into the skin with a force that took Juliana’s breath away.

“Val,” she moaned as she quickly moved her hand over to unfasten the other tie before things escalated, although Valentina wasn’t making her task easy.

“I can’t help it.” Valentina’s newly freed hand was already against Juliana’s body, her hands fastened at Juliana’s hips as Valentina tried to push their centers together and grind against her, Juliana losing herself in the moment as she rolled her hips down hard in response.

“Fuck, Val.” Juliana breathed hard, her center already throbbing, wondering if she could pull herself away. “You aren’t making this easy considering it was your idea.”

“You just feel so good,” Valentina said as she pushed their bodies together again and rolled upward, one of her arms snaking around to cup Juliana’s chest and pluck at the hard nipple beneath her bra.

Her body felt light, like she could come in a few purposeful strokes if Valentina’s fingers moved between her thighs, but they’d been working toward this all day, and she was nothing if not committed to seeing things through to the finish. “You feel good, too,” she pushed out as she tried to hold her hips steady, tried not to get lost in the friction and rhythm Valentina was creating as she writhed beneath her.

“I needed you to untie me though,” Valentina said absently as she continued to pluck at Juliana’s nipple. As she continued to roll her hips like she didn’t have a care in the world.

“And why’s that?” Juliana asked with every ounce of focus she could pull from the farthest reaches of her body, finding just enough housed inside of her to push the words out.

Valentina stared up at her, their lips inches apart, Valentina’s wet from having just licked hers. “Because, mi amor, I want to be on top. And I can’t do that if I’m tied up, now can I?”


	29. Arch & Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you want, Val?” Juliana asked, her voice wavering slightly. Valentina didn’t know if she’d taken a breath since her fingers had returned to Juliana’s skin, and she wondered how this felt for her. 
> 
> Valentina licked her lips, no more reason for teasing. “I want you. That’s all that matters. The logistics are just fun to think about.” She moved quickly, so fast that Juliana’s eyes barely had time to follow her as she stood from the bed. “Lay down?” she asked softly as she ran her long fingers down Juliana’s arm.
> 
> Juliana complied immediately and scooted toward the center of the bed, taking the position Valentina had held moments before. Valentina couldn’t stop her gaze as it traveled from the tips of Juliana’s toes all the way up to her eyes, so intense when she met them that Valentina felt like she was spellbound.

Valentina rubbed at her tired wrists as she stared at the bathroom door, acutely aware of every muscle in her body as she worked to control her breathing. Juliana had been in there for three minutes and twenty-six seconds. She knew that because she’d been counting. At least counting the time she remembered to keep track of, doing anything to distract herself from her mounting arousal.

She bit her lip and resisted the urge to push her fingers between her own legs to alleviate the pressure, a persistent ache in her center that she was reminded of with each shallow breath. They’d made it this far, but the feeling only grew more intense as she thought about Juliana in the bathroom. As she thought about what would come next.

God, Juliana really was perfect. Willing to experience this with her and keep her focused on their goal until the end. She’d have given up hours ago if not for her, and now, Valentina had Juliana to thank for her shaky legs and trembling center, on edge in a way she’d never felt before. And about to do something she’d never done before with the person she loved most.

“Juls?” she called toward the bathroom. She could have stood up, but she didn’t quite trust her legs to carry her. She felt tense yet wobbly, like she’d fall apart with how tightly she was strung.

“Coming,” Juliana called from behind the door. 

_ Me too _ , Valentina thought to herself as she shifted her thighs against one another again, unable to find a comfortable position as blood coursed through her body. Her circulation had finally returned to normal now that she was free of the ties, but she still felt light, her arms slightly buzzy like they’d fallen asleep. She strangely welcomed the sensation, a new feeling and better than any high she’d ever found through drugs and alcohol.

It was hard to wrap her mind around the sharpness that mingled into a haze, her body responding to her brain’s commands, although everything felt unreal. Like she’d stepped into a dream but she was in complete control as she moved through it. That was the effect Juliana had on her. She made choices, yet somehow she always felt like something larger was pulling her. 

Her eyes snapped up toward the doorway as she sensed movement, the lights now dimmed so that the room was bathed in an ambient glow that made everything even more dream-like. Was this heaven? She couldn’t imagine ever having done something good enough to deserve this being her life. To deserve how Juliana looked as she crossed the room toward her.

Valentina’s breath caught in her throat as she tried to see everything at once, as she worked to not blink. Not breathe. Not miss a second of what was becoming the best thing that had ever happened to her.

“Baby,” Valentina breathed as Juliana moved to the side of the bed. “I missed you.”

“Val,” Juliana responded with a slight whine as she rolled her eyes, although she seemed more nervous than anything. Her posture was rigid and her fingers tapped errantly against the bedding although she made no move to sit down. “I-” Juliana stopped and motioned down her body, Valentina’s gaze settling on the strap on.

Valentina drew her lip between her teeth and bit down gently, and she could feel Juliana’s gaze follow, although her own stare remained focused. “Come here.” The huskiness in her own voice surprised her, already on edge as she fantasized about what was going to happen between them next.

Juliana sat down on the side of the bed and Valentina wasted no time as her hand pushed forward. She pushed her index finger against Juliana’s stomach and dragged it down her abdomen. The skin flexed as Juliana let out a sharp exhale with the contact, the moment already weighted and charged from the events leading up to this. 

She flicked her eyes up to deep brown ones as she dragged her finger from warm skin to the entirely different sensation of the strap on. Juliana’s eyes went wider as Valentina skimmed up and down the shaft before she returned to Juliana’s stomach and dragged her nails gently across the plane of her stomach. 

“What do you want, Val?” Juliana asked, her voice wavering slightly. Valentina didn’t know if she’d taken a breath since her fingers had returned to Juliana’s skin, and she wondered how this felt for her. 

Valentina licked her lips, no more reason for teasing. “I want you. That’s all that matters. The logistics are just fun to think about.” She moved quickly, so fast that Juliana’s eyes barely had time to follow her as she stood from the bed. “Lay down?” she asked softly as she ran her long fingers down Juliana’s arm.

Juliana complied immediately and scooted toward the center of the bed, taking the position Valentina had held moments before. Valentina couldn’t stop her gaze as it traveled from the tips of Juliana’s toes all the way up to her eyes, so intense when she met them that Valentina felt like she was spellbound.

“Thank you,” she said as she sat on the bed and began to trace a lazy pattern across Juliana’s leg.

“For what?” Juliana cocked her head to the side in the most infuriatingly sexy way, and Valentina couldn’t stop her fingers from pressing harder into the soft flesh beneath them.

“For doing this with me. For trusting me. For not giving in to me too soon,” Valentina answered wistfully as she scooted her body closer before she lifted a long leg across Juliana’s body in a quick, fluid motion.

She settled her weight against Juliana’s hips as a soft sigh escaped her lips, the strap on just behind her and pushing gently against her lower back. The energy crackled between them, the air heavy and hot and enveloping her with each breath.

She loved how Juliana felt between her thighs, her long legs fitting easily around Juliana’s slight frame. How Juliana’s hands came up to rest against Valentina’s hips, anchoring her in place even though there was nowhere else in the world she’d rather be right now. And how Juliana stared at her, like she was the only thing in the world worth watching.

“I guess this means it’s my turn to watch you,” Juliana said as she ran her fingers teasingly across Valentina’s abdomen. Her legs and stomach clenched hard as she absorbed Juliana’s words. As she locked eyes with Juliana as she stared intently.

Valentina let out a small puff of air as she began to readjust her position. Juliana’s eyes continued to follow her, her bottom lip drawn gently into her mouth like she was deep in concentration. 

She used her strength to lift her thighs off of Juliana, hating even the seconds she had to disconnect their bodies as she wrapped her fingers around the strap on and pulled it upward between their bodies.

“Val…” Juliana’s voice was low and raspy, and when she licked her lips, Valentina couldn’t stop as she pushed her body forward and captured Juliana’s mouth in a hot, wet kiss. 

The movement forced her body to slide against the strap on, and she let out a deep, unplanned moan that caught them both by surprise. She couldn’t have found words to describe the friction if she’d wanted to, how she already slid easily against it, now coated with her wetness even after only seconds.

Juliana’s fingers flexed hard into Valentina’s hips as she pulled her down against her, and it was clear they were both getting something from the sensation, Juliana’s hips pushing upward in a calculated movement toward Valentina. She couldn’t help it as she rolled her hips again, up the shaft as Juliana’s hands held her in place like a train on a track. She wanted to buck wildly. To push and pull and rut against Juliana with an abandon she didn’t know she possessed, but her girlfriend held her in place as her stomach continued to tighten, as her limbs already grew lighter and sweat sprang up on the small of her back.

“Mi amor,” Valentina panted as she pushed her hand down into Juliana’s shoulder to increase the resistance, as they began to push harder against one another, although Juliana still controlled the pace. 

“You already seem like you’re close,” Juliana said as she continued to hold her in place. She’d seen Valentina come apart enough to know the signs, and Valentina loved that. How her breathing picked up. How her hips grew more erratic. How she sought any extra friction possible and she pushed closer to the edge.

“Fuck, I am. After what you’ve put me through today, I almost came waiting for you to come out of the bathroom.”

“Is that so?”

Valentina wanted to focus her attention on Juliana’s question, but she couldn’t stop her body, couldn’t pull back now that they’d started this. It was so fucking hot, grinding against Juliana with the strap on between them, and even just thinking about it made her want to come apart. “Yes,” she said with another hard roll of her hips.

“Are you ready for it?” Juliana asked as Valentina’s eyes blew wide. God, hearing Juliana ask those words was sexy.

“Yes. Fuck. Yes,” Valentina said as she continued to grind desperately, even harder than before with Juliana’s question.

“Good. But I want you to come first. Can you do that, baby?” Usually Juliana wasn’t this talkative, and Valentina felt her voice everywhere. 

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” she said as the tension continued to build, as her legs began to shake. She felt her orgasm coming, and knowing that Juliana was waiting for it too had her lit like a stick of dynamite, unable to stop as she pushed and pushed and pushed.

Her orgasm began to rocket through her, her body tensing hard as her abs clenched and her breathing stopped. She put her other hand down against Juliana’s other shoulder so that all her weight pushed into Juliana beneath her, and she continued to roll, her body so far out of her control.

And then, she felt Juliana’s hand move from her hip, strange to lose one of the only tethers to reality. But Juliana wasn’t done, and she slipped her hand quickly in between them and wrapped her fingers along the shaft of the strap on. 

“Are you ready?” Juliana asked expectantly, her lips curled into the most delicious smile.

She didn’t know if she’d ever return to normal after this, but she’d never wanted anything more. With the little control she could manage, she lifted her hips slightly as Juliana guided the strap on between her legs and helped Valentina position herself.

“You look so sexy, Val,” Juliana said as they both felt the strap on slip into Valentina’s center, like a key fitting into a lock.

“Oh my god,” was all Valentina managed to push out as her body slid down along the strap on. As it filled her in a way that was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. “Oh my god,” she repeated as her body slid the rest of the way down, until her thighs hit the hard edges of Juliana’s hips.

Juliana parted her legs slightly wider, but she made no move as she waited patiently for Valentina to confirm that she was ready. Valentina had never been more ready and not ready for anything in the history of her life.

Little pulses from her last orgasm still shot through her body at random intervals as she felt the strap on inside of her, as she worked to begin breathing again, knowing that she’d do it all again. Harder than last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missed you all!


	30. Talking Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Val,” Juliana panted at the unexpected contact, her own center tight, almost painful, as Valentina continued to grind down against her.
> 
> “You just taste so good. Why should you get to have all the fun?” Valentina whispered throatily, her lips still nestled next to Juliana’s ear.
> 
> With those words, it was like a fire had ignited inside Juliana, like she’d burn if she didn’t find relief. If she didn’t use all of the adrenaline coursing through her body for the only purpose that mattered anymore--to make Valentina a writhing, panting mess beneath her.

Juliana had experienced more newness in the last day than she’d had collectively in her life, but if this was what came with it, she was learning to welcome each new thing with open arms. And legs.

Valentina sat above her, lips parted, eyes lidded, her hands pushing hard into Juliana’s shoulders as she worked to grow comfortable. It was unlike anything she’d ever seen or felt before, having Valentina positioned securely above her, how her legs shook slightly against Juliana’s hips.

“How does it feel?” Juliana asked, curiosity infusing into her voice. 

Valentina stilled completely with the exception of her trembling legs and looked down at Juliana with eyes so deep, a pang of want hit Juliana straight in her center. “It’s...god, with you...I don’t even have the words,” she said as she continued to stare at her.

And then, she felt Valentina move slightly above her, her body pushing forward almost imperceptibly, although her lips parted into an ‘o’ and her eyes went wider.

“Val,” she breathed out, working to quell her own mounting arousal as she watched the emotion dance across Valentina’s face like a flame flickering in the darkness.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said throatily as her hips jerked slightly with her change in position, as she dug her nails into Juliana’s shoulders and worked to brace herself.

She loved Valentina on top of her, and although they’d already been in this position a few times over the past day, nothing quite compared to this. She worked to find the words to encompass how she felt watching Valentina, but they didn’t come. Nothing seemed quite able to capture the weight of it all, to distill something into vocabulary that was so much more.

So, she decided not to try to find the words when there were so many other ways to convey how she felt. She brought her hands up delicately and rested them on each side of Valentina’s hips, pushing in lightly with her fingertips and dragging her nails gently across the smooth skin. Valentina moaned, and she felt emboldened to continue. 

She lifted her hips up slightly, a deeper moan dragging from Valentina’s throat as the strap on shifted inside of her, as Juliana hit a new angle with even the slight change in position.

“Mi amor,” Valentina repeated again as she began to grind slowly, so sensuously against Juliana that she almost forgot how to breathe. When Valentina moved her hips, her whole body rolled gracefully, and she shifted her feet up and locked them around Juliana’s calves for more traction. Her center throbbed when she processed the movement, her own legs shifting slightly outward so that Valentina was even more taught, the lower half of her body connected with Juliana’s in almost every way possible.

Sweat already prickled against her skin, and it was hard to take the intensity of the moment as Valentina continued to stare down at her with purpose, as it became clear that every small move she made was just as much for Juliana’s benefit as it was for her own.

“How does this feel for you?” Valentina asked, her voice slightly breathy, a deep timber punctuating the otherwise silent air. 

“I don’t even think I can explain,” she admitted as she shifted her hand from Valentina’s hip and dragged her nails slowly across her stomach. Valentina took in a sharp breath at the contact, her body suddenly still, like she’d looked back at Sodom. God, if this was sin, Juliana wanted to be salt, too. 

She pushed her head slightly to the side and dragged her teeth across Valentina’s wrist and tasted exactly what she wanted. The slight saltiness of Valentina’s sweat was strong and heady, and she finished the bite off with a flick of her tongue to soothe the marks she’d left.

“Oh my god,” Valentina said as her hips buckled with the motion, the movement setting of the hardest roll against Juliana yet, Valentina shifting her arm back to the nape of Juliana’s neck for more traction.

Maybe the words wouldn’t come, but the desire to touch was overwhelming. To make Valentina feel as much as she felt in this moment. She shifted the hand that had briefly rested on Valentina’s stomach upward, encircling her hard nipple between her fingers and rolling the bud around with a pressure she knew Val wanted. That she knew she was more than happy to feel, too. 

Valentina rolled her hips again, chaotic and uncoordinated like the multiple points of friction had begun to overwhelm her. Like she was no longer in control. 

And Juliana loved it. Loved her slightly parted lips. Loved her fingers digging into Juliana’s scalp as she worked to balance herself. Loved how her feet had begun to shift slightly against Juliana’s legs with the sweat dotting both their bodies. 

But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. Without a second thought, she lifted her torso so that she could capture Valentina’s nipple in her mouth, the action earning another long hip roll from her girlfriend. She licked and flicked with her tongue as Valentina’s hips grew more insistent, as she wrapped both of her arms around Juliana’s neck.

Without warning, Valentina ducked her head lower so that it was just flush with Julianas’ ear and pulled the lobe between her teeth, gently sucking at the skin as small, breathy moans escaped her mouth.

“Val,” Juliana panted at the unexpected contact, her own center tight, almost painful, as Valentina continued to grind down against her.

“You just taste so good. Why should you get to have all the fun?” Valentina whispered throatily, her lips still nestled next to Juliana’s ear.

With those words, it was like a fire had ignited inside Juliana, like she’d burn if she didn’t find relief. If she didn’t use all of the adrenaline coursing through her body for the only purpose that mattered anymore--to make Valentina a writhing, panting mess beneath her.

“Lay back,” she said, more commanding than she’d intended. 

Valentina shifted her head back so that she could look at Juliana’s face, Valentina’s own features sharp. She dragged her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed on it, like she was considering challenging Juliana’s request. “I’m so turned on right now,” was all she said as she shifted her body upward to remove the strap on. 

Instead of switching places, Valentina simply threw her body back down on the bed once they were no longer connected, her head near the bottom, her hair falling over the edge.

Juliana wasted no time, shifting quickly so that she rested on top of Valentina, already missing the contact of their bodies, although the change in position had only taken seconds.

“Mi amor,” Valentina begged, her arms wrapping themselves around Juliana’s hips the moment she was close enough to reach.

She could feel the strap on between them, one of her arms coming down to rest against the bed as she settled herself between Valentina’s legs, already drawn open for her.

It was a strange sensation, to guide the strap on into Valentina’s body again, but Juliana couldn’t stop staring at Valentina’s face as she pushed the head against her entrance, slick and welcoming, little resistance to be found. Valentina’s lip was drawn into her mouth, and like Juliana had done to her only moments ago, she dug her nails into Juliana’s hips insistently as she tried to pull her closer.

“Val,” she chided, stilling her movements so that the head pushed against Valentina’s center without entering her. Valentina began pushing her hips toward Juliana, although the contact she sought was impossible as Juliana held the shaft in her hands, controlling the situation.

Valentina slipped her hands around Juliana’s body and dropped them lower, digging her nails into Juliana’s ass as she tried to pull her forward. “Please,” Valentina pushed, her body and her words working together to pull Juliana toward her.

Her stomach twisted with Valentina’s desperate words, and slowly, she guided the tip back to Valentina’s center. “Are you ready?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.” It was all the confirmation Juliana needed, and she shifted the strap on, Valentina’s walls parting with ease as it slipped inside. As it did, Juliana’s hips shifted downward, and heat sprawled wild through her body as Valentina gripped harder against her ass, as she continued to work to pull them as closely together as possible.

If Valentina on top of her had been a lot, the reversal was overwhelming for entirely different reasons, her hips already beginning to buck as the strap on pushed deeper, as Valentina let out a moan with the welcomed intrusion.

She couldn’t stop as she flexed her foot against the bed, working to find traction as she began slow, purposeful thrusts into Valentina. They both moaned then, Valentina shifting her hands back to Juliana’s hips as she pulled her, as she worked to feel as much as possible.

Juliana’s hips had developed a mind that no longer acquiesced to her want to draw this out for Valentina, and she couldn’t stop her body as she pulled the shaft out half way, only to plunge it in again. 

“Juls,” Valentina screamed into the room as she entered her fully, as she started working her hips with smooth, insistent thrusts against Valentina’s body.

And even then, it still wasn’t enough. She wanted more, and she wanted Valentina to forget what planet she was on by the time this was over. She ran her hand down Valentina’s thigh purposefully, her skin hot and wet, her fingers gliding smoothly over skin.

She slid her hand around to the back of Valentina’s calf and picked it up to rest her leg across her shoulder. Never in a million years had she thought she’d be doing this, but her body had taken over, her only thought how to make this better for Valentina. 

Juliana ran her hands along Valentina’s shin and bit gently at the skin, alternating nips and licks against her leg. Valentina turned her head to the side and pushed her face against the mattress, finally breaking eye contact as her back arched up from the bed. Her hips worked against Juliana, but she kept her hands firm on Valentina’s hip and thigh, holding her in place so that she controlled the tempo, knowing Valentina’s movements were her body’s way of begging for more.

“Tell me what you want,” Juliana said, surprised at the strength in her own voice as she found her words again.

“You. Always you,” Valentina murmured, her voice pushing out in lilting syllables against the comforter as her back arched in tempo with her words. 

“God, Val. I want to see you come.” Juliana didn’t care who heard her raspy and strained voice. Didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion in this moment. Or probably ever again. She couldn’t believe they lived in a world where someone could think this was wrong. That Valentina, exposed and open beneath her could be a cause for concern. 

All she felt was hot heat burning through her body as she plunged inside of Valentina again, harder than she’d done at any point before, their hips pushing against one another with the depth of her movement.

Valentina looked up at her again, eyes shiny, lips pursed as she pushed small puffs off air between them, like she found breathing difficult. “Faster,” Valentina managed to get out as she continued to try and work her body against Juliana’s, although it didn’t much seem like she was in control of her movements anymore.

Juliana broke, tensing her body as she rolled her hips purposefully against Valentina, pulling the strap-on out slightly only to push it back in again, repeating the action over and over and over as she found a rhythm. She flexed her toes into the bed and held her stomach tight, little beads of sweat dripping down the plane of her stomach as she continued to take up all the space Valentina’s body could allow.

It seemed like Valentina had finally made it to that other planet, the only sounds coming from her deep, breathy moans that punctuated the still air as Juliana continued to strain against her. Juliana’s calves ached with the force of her movements, but she barely noticed with the desperate tug in her own stomach, her body buzzing with want and anticipation and trying to take in Valentina below her. To memorize every contour and sound like this was the last moment they had together.

Juliana turned her head to the side and bit gently into Valentina’s calf as she pushed into her again, and she felt Valentina’s entire body tense as her hips pushed off the bed. Valentina’s fingers dug into Juliana’s left hip so hard she was sure there’d be marks tomorrow, but she couldn’t drag her eyes away from Valentina below her as she came apart. As a long spasm wracked through her body, the muscles of Valentina’s stomach visible with the tightness etched across every long contour of Valentina’s body.

“Come here,” Valentina said quickly as she shifted her leg from Juliana’s shoulder and pulled her down on top of her.

Juliana let out a moan as their sweaty torsos connected again, as she felt Valentina’s nipples pushing against her own while Valentina brought their mouths together in a messy, uncoordinated kiss. Valentina licked against Juliana’s lips and begged for entry, and capturing Valentina’s moans with her mouth was just about the sexiest thing she’d ever experienced.

Valentina’s arms came up to wrap around Juliana’s neck as she pulled her against her so tightly she didn’t know where one ended and the other began, but she tried to remember to keep her tempo. Tried to not get lost in her own sensations as she continued to roll her hips against Valentina as she cried out below her, all of her weight pushing against Valentina’s long frame as she continued to buck against her and cry out into the darkened room.

Like the flip of a switch, Valentina’s tightness melted from her body, and her legs rolled slightly outward as she finally took in a long, deep breath as the room grew silent. Juliana slowed her movements inside of Valentina but didn’t completely stop, pulling the last few spasms from Valentina’s spent body with small, languid movements before she pulled the strap-on out completely, maneuvering her body from Valentina’s to find just enough room to do so.

Juliana shifted her face upward to see Valentina, a serene smile on her face unlike anything she’d ever seen before.

“Val…” Juliana asked tentatively as she brushed a strand of hair from Val’s forehead, although it mostly remained stuck in its position with the sweat.

“Mi amor,” Val said as she breathed out deeply, her chest filling with air and forcing their bodies closer together. “You can take that off now. I want to feel you. Touch you.”

Juliana cocked her head to the side and tried to temper the sprawling heat that coursed through her own body. Valentina looked like she could barely move, let alone go for another round. “Do you even know what day it is?” Juliana asked, only half joking as she shifted some of her weight onto her forearm so that she could look down at Valentina.

“Today is the first day of the rest of our lives together,” Valentina said simply as she began to run her fingers lightly up and down Juliana’s ribs before she opened her eyes fully, Juliana caught in the piercing blue depths of her stare. “Now take it off so that I can try and come close to being half as good as you are in bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We back bitches! No promise on update frequency, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!


	31. Heaven Is A Place On Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You really are an amazing lover,” Valentina said as she allowed her fingers to wander lower again, brushing the inside of Juliana’s thighs in a way that made them quiver with the contact. Valentina pushed forward and kissed Juliana’s knee tenderly, ghosting her teeth across the skin. “You do things that scare you.“
> 
> Another intake of breath as Valentina’s fingers dipped low again, her body still raw from the last orgasm. “This isn’t exactly a horror movie,” Juliana pushed out as she managed a soft laugh, her chest rising and falling slightly unevenly, one of her legs shifting upward so that her foot pushed into the mattress beneath them.
> 
> “It’s not, mi amor,” Valentina agreed, continuing her ministrations. “When I was little, I was afraid of monsters and goblins and things that go bump in the night.”
> 
> “And now?” Juliana stared at her with a focus that made Valentina’s heart constrict, like every word she said Juliana would commit to memory and never let go.

Valentina’s body was sated beyond comprehension, but after Juliana slipped the strap-on from her body, she shifted forward and splayed her hand against Juliana’s chest to encourage her to sit back and rest her body against the pillows at the head of the bed. 

She couldn’t help herself as she scratched her nails gently against Juliana’s skin, smooth and hot against the pads of her fingers. So hot it felt like her fingerprints were disappearing from the heat, like she was becoming a new person, reborn without the previous weight or hurt or confusion of life up until now. 

All that lay before her was newness and hope. For all of her outward positivity, it wasn’t a sensation she’d felt in a long time, working to come to terms with the gravity of the feeling as it wrapped around her body, the same way she wanted to wrap around Juliana and show her just how much she meant to her.

Up on her knees, she continued pushing forward until Juliana’s back made contact with the plush pillows, her dark hair fanned out, eyes focused on Valentina in a way that made her stomach clench with the earnestness and trust. 

She’d never tire of the way Juliana looked at her, of the focused, probing stare laced with so much thought and concern that it made her want to be a better person. To be that person every day that Juliana saw.

Valentina slipped her long fingers against the soft skin of Juliana’s inner thigh, loving the slight hiccup in her breathing. “Does that feel good?”

“Yes.” Juliana’s head was pressed back into the pillows, one of her hands bunched against the fabric of the comforter. 

“Good.” Valentina wasted no time, dipping her head lower and gently biting against the skin below Juliana’s belly button.

A soft hum escaped Juliana’s lips as her legs bowed outward. Valentina ran her fingers up and down, lightly thrumming like she was playing a piano. She dipped her head lower, pressing her tongue flush against Juliana.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over how good you taste,” Valentina said against salty skin as she licked lower, Juliana’s body clenching beneath her.

After what Juliana had just done to her, for her, she couldn’t hold back, licking until she found what she was looking for, her tongue quickly encircling Juliana’s clit.

Juliana moaned quietly, her hand coming up to rest on Valentina’s shoulder, pushing her closer.

“Seems like you liked my surprise,” Valentina said, slightly pleased with herself as she worked to maintain her focus, Juliana already so wet that Valentina’s tongue slid easily against her. She licked again, harder this time as Juliana’s other foot pushed into the comforter so that both her legs bent at the knees.

Valentina loved everything about it. Juliana’s legs, open but with her muscles clenched as she allowed Valentina to continue her ministrations. How Juliana’s fingers pushed harder into Valentina’s shoulder. She was guiding her, expressing what she wanted, but not so much that Valentina’s couldn’t explore her own desires, Juliana giving her enough breadth to lick and taste and experience as she traced the contours of Juliana’s center with her tongue.

She licked up the center, harder than she’d initially planned, Juliana’s body tensing with the strength of the motion. Her legs rolled outward, Valentina’s hands coming around her thighs to hold her in place. 

Valentina was typically good at controlling the pace, but after what had just happened between them, she couldn’t stop the long, broad strokes of her tongue as she worked to help Juliana feel everything she’d felt, to make the other woman come apart at the seams like Valentina was pulling stitches out with each enthusiastic lick.

“Oh my god,” Juliana said after less than a minute, her legs quivering around Valentina’s ears. 

Valentina couldn’t have stopped if she tried, Juliana on her tongue better than anything she’d ever tasted, like she was sipping from a cup she worried would run out too soon. 

Would she ever be content? With the sounds pushing from Juliana’s lips and the way her body felt as she worked to temper her wanton desire, Valentina didn’t know. And she hoped she’d never have to find out, doubling down as she began to lick harder, broadening her tongue to make deep, flat strokes from the top of her clit down to her entrance, dipping inside before she slipped back out and repeated the motion.

Juliana moaned, Valentina doing the same in response, loving how Juliana’s fingers pushed against her shoulder, like she wanted Valentina to be as close as possible.

Valentina understood the sentiment, picking up her already focused pace as she reached her hand between them and slipped a finger inside, Juliana’s body welcoming and ready in a way that made her heart skip a beat and her own center throb.

“Mi amor,” Valentina said as she pulled her lips away for a moment, her finger joined by another as she continued to push inward, as she focused on how Juliana’s body became more taught, her breath punctuated against the otherwise silence of the room.

She couldn’t hold back, dipping her head low again and licking until Juliana’s body tensed around her, a quiet cry reverberating from her body as her stomach tightened. She continued to come, little shocks radiating through her body that caused her stomach muscles to visibly clench, Valentina keeping her head down as she continued to lick against Juliana’s center, wanting to draw every single emotion from her.

Juliana threw her arm over her face and took a deep breath, her stomach relaxing so the defined lines of her abs became soft contours, the sweat glistening off her body so seductively that Valentina had to resist licking up her torso.

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit,” Valentina said as she ran her fingers down Juliana’s thigh, working to draw the moment out.

Juliana’s eyebrow lifted in her telltale sign of disbelief, but she played along, as she always did, finally coming down with her orgasm. “Credit with what?”

“Understanding what you do to me. Understanding how you make me feel.” Valentina continued to trace errant patterns across Juliana’s skin, slipping her fingers lower onto the inside of Juliana’s thigh before deftly retreating back. She did it for the sake of how good it felt, unworried if it would lead to another round but wholly welcoming that if it happened.

Juliana took in a sharp breath, Valentina pleased with the response she elicited. “Val…”

“You really are an amazing lover,” Valentina said as she allowed her fingers to wander lower again, brushing the inside of Juliana’s thighs in a way that made them quiver with the contact. Valentina pushed forward and kissed Juliana’s knee tenderly, ghosting her teeth across the skin. “You do things that scare you.“

Another intake of breath as Valentina’s fingers dipped low again, her body still raw from the last orgasm. “This isn’t exactly a horror movie,” Juliana pushed out as she managed a soft laugh, her chest rising and falling slightly unevenly, one of her legs shifting upward so that her foot pushed into the mattress beneath them.

“It’s not, mi amor,” Valentina agreed, continuing her ministrations. “When I was little, I was afraid of monsters and goblins and things that go bump in the night.”

“And now?” Juliana stared at her with a focus that made Valentina’s heart constrict, like every word she said Juliana would commit to memory and never let go.

“Now…” Valentina ran both her hands down Juliana’s thighs and licked her lips that still tasted like Juliana, working to find the right words. “I know that real fear isn’t the unknown. It’s the knowing and then losing. It’s the fear of the things you love the most being taken away.”

Juliana placed one of her hands on top of Valentina’s and held it tight. “And that scares you?” Juliana asked questioningly.

Valentina sighed and tried to find the words. “Maybe it should. But I know we’ve found one another so many times in so many lives. I don’t ever want to lose you in this one, but we’re bigger than that. I can feel it. Maybe that’s some people’s version of god, but I don’t fear what’s next after this life. It’s another beautiful chance for us to meet again and fall in love and learn together.”

Juliana smiled and squeezed Valentina’s hand, the warmth radiating through her body. “I always knew you were a hopeless romantic.”

“Only when I find you.” Valentina bit her lip. She knew how it sounded, but she couldn’t stop the words. Couldn’t stop the feelings Juliana elicited within her. 

Juliana’s face grew serious, and she lowered her chin to stare at Valentina like a child readying themselves for a fight. “Then why do you think I’m scared?”

“I mean…” Valentina sat up a bit taller and nestled her body between Juliana’s legs, slightly unsure if she wanted to continue down this path. But Juliana’s eyes, trained and focused on every word from her lips, compelled Valentina to continue. “So, Descartes, this philosopher, had this idea that we have to accept we’re real. I _ think, therefore I am _ .”

“Are you saying you don’t think I’m real? That I’m  _ your fantasy _ ?” Juliana smirked and tried to pull Valentina closer, her mood shifting from slightly combative to magnetic, pulling Valentina into her orbit. “Because this feels pretty real to me,” she continued, running her hands along Valentina’s ribcage.

Valentina allowed her body to be pulled into Juliana, loving how they fit together as she cuddled against Juliana’s chest. No one had ever cared enough to talk about philosophy or these big ideas with her when she’d brought them up. Certainly not boyfriends, and usually not Valentina’s family, more consumed with living in the here and now and running a successful media empire than grappling with the meaning of life.

She felt the rise and fall of Juliana’s chest, more real than anything she’d ever experienced, her words feeling silly on her tongue. 

Her finger stilled against Juliana’s legs. “You are better than a fantasy because I know you’re real. But all I can do is hope you feel the same way.”

“Val...” Juliana’s voice came out in the slight whine that Valentina knew all too well. “I do. You know I do.”

“Move into Valle with me.”

Juliana’s eyes went wide, and for a moment, Valentina wondered if it was too soon. But she’d felt this way for too long, and this weekend had only solidified that she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Juliana, to begin building a life together as a couple.

“I-” Juliana’s words cut off, an unreadable expression flashing across her face that made Valentina’s stomach drop.

She knew they were meant to be together, but even in their infinite lives, that didn’t stop them from experiencing the pain and fear of humanity in the here and now, of all the things Juliana had been through in this short life on earth. But she didn’t want to take back the words she meant, so she took a deep breath. “You don’t have to tell me now. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I didn’t want to wait any longer to ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missed you all!

**Author's Note:**

> I don't use Tumblr except to creep on the Juliantina tag, but you can talk to me on Twitter here: @MonicaMcCallan
> 
> Tracklist for Chapter titles: https://spoti.fi/2G1Th3R


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